How To Make Friends When You Have Social Anxiety

How To Make Friends
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- Understand your social anxiety
- Set some goals for yourself
- Take baby steps
- Talk to people who make you feel comfortable
- Join a group or club
- Don't be afraid to be yourself
- Be patient
- Seek professional help if needed

Do you struggle to make friends because of your social anxiety? If so, you’re not alone.

A person suffering from a social anxiety disorder [SAD] will likely find it difficult to meet people and make new friends. Social situations can be intimidating, so breaking the ice and starting a conversation becomes difficult when you feel overwhelmed and intimidated.

However, even if you have social anxiety, you can make new friends with the help of a few tips and tricks. With patience and practice, it's easy to find new people who understand your struggles, are willing to listen to you, and are cool with becoming your friends for life.

So, how do you make friends when you have a social anxiety disorder?

Continue reading to find out.

Definition of Social Anxiety

Have you ever felt an overwhelming fear of being judged, embarrassed or humiliated in front of others? This intense worry is what characterizes social anxiety - its more than just typical shyness or introversion. When left unaddressed this fear can significantly impact a persons overall health and happiness. Those with social anxiety may feel compelled to withdraw from all forms of social interaction due to their overwhelming fears about negative evaluation.

Helpful tip: Taking an anxiety test can provide valuable insights into your mental well-being. Seek professional guidance for an accurate assessment and appropriate support.

Symptoms of Social Anxiety Social

Social anxiety can manifest through a variety of physical, emotional, and behavioral symptoms. These symptoms may vary in intensity and can be triggered by different social situations. Some common symptoms include:

Physical Symptoms:

Emotional Symptoms:

Behavioral Symptoms:

Impact on Daily Life Social

Anxiety can have a significant impact on various aspects of an individual's life, including:

Interpersonal Relationships:

Academic or Professional Life:

Emotional Well-being:

8 Guaranteed Ways To Break The Ice And Form Friendships

Social anxiety can be a significant barrier to building meaningful friendships, but it doesn’t have to be permanent. Let's explore how to make friends when you have social anxiety, from identifying triggers to implementing coping strategies:

1. Understand your social anxiety

Understand your social anxiety

One of the most critical steps to making friends is to understand the details of your social phobia. According to the National Institute Of Health, SAD is a disorder that brings about intense fear of social interaction, leading to negative thinking, depression, and self-consciousness. It's caused by experiences of being judged or humiliated in public, having difficulty communicating with others, or feeling uncomfortable in new situations. [1]

Nevertheless, you should know that these feelings are a normal part of life, and it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. The more you learn about social interactions, body language, and how it affects you, the better you will face your fears and build lasting connections with others.

2. Set some goals for yourself

Making new connections becomes easy when you set small, attainable goals.

Have you ever done a personal interview? Well, you can start by setting small goals and gradually increase the difficulty as you gain more confidence. It might be as simple as joining a group or book club or talking to someone you find fascinating in public. Remember to choose something that feels comfortable and achievable for you. [2]

To make sure your goals are realistic, consider what triggers your SAD. Ask yourself if certain settings or people make you feel more or less anxious, and start making plans around those situations. Once you have identified what triggers your SAD, set a timeline for achieving each goal. This will help you trust the process and stay motivated.

3. Take baby steps

No, we don't mean you should walk like a baby.

You can start by saying hello to new people you pass by in the hallway or smiling at someone in line at the store. Little interactions like these can be an excellent first step to forming relationships with others. As you become more comfortable, try starting conversations with new people, even if they’re short and simple.

Don’t be afraid to reach out to your family. They can provide a safe space for talk therapy and practice your conversation skills with people.

4. Talk to people who make you feel comfortable

These can be people you already know, such as old classmates, family members, or co-workers. Even if they don't become close, they can provide a supportive environment to help you practice your social skills and build your confidence. [3]

If you don't know anyone, try conversing with someone at work or school who's willing to spend time with you. Ask open-ended questions and listen attentively to their responses. Try to be yourself and don't be afraid to show your vulnerability. You may even find that some people can relate to your experiences and help you feel more relaxed and accepted. [3]

5. Join a group or club

Support group

It can be intimidating to put yourself out there and converse with strangers, but being in a group setting gives you a chance to observe other people's interactions and see how they interact. You may also find it easier to approach someone when you already know the setting and have a common interest. [4]

When looking for a group or club to join, consider what kind of activities and conversations you are interested in. This could include book clubs, sports teams, crafting clubs, volunteer organizations, etc. Many of these groups are also available online, so even if there isn't one near you, you can still connect with others from around the world.

6. Don't be afraid to be yourself

Being yourself is essential when it comes to making friends. When you have SAD, opening up and revealing your true self to new people can be difficult. However, being open about who you are and keeping eye contact is a great way to connect with others. [5]

Try to let go of any fear or worry about what other people might think of you. It's natural to fear rejection, but remember that everyone has insecurities and flaws. You don't have to put on an act to impress others. Refrain from revealing too much too quickly. Start with the basics, like conversing about your interests or hobbies, and gradually work your way up to deeper conversations.

7. Be patient

It can take time to build up your confidence and to make meaningful connections with people, so don't expect everything to happen overnight. Take small steps and build on them over time, and don't be too hard on yourself if things don't go as planned.

Also, just have fun, rather than trying to force new friendships. Focus on joining activities that you enjoy or trying out different hobbies, as this will help you to relax and focus on the present moment. In time, you may find that you naturally start to open up to new acquaintances.

8. Seek professional help if needed

Seek professional help

If your SAD is getting in the way of making potential friends, seek help from an Online Therapist today. Talking to a qualified mental health professional can help you learn ways to manage your SAD because they'll provide support, guidance, and resources.

Seeking help is not a sign of weakness or an indication that you're “broken.” Rather, it's an important step towards improving your mental health and building meaningful connections with others. Don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health therapist today.

If you want to confirm whether you have anxiety or not, you can take this quick anxiety test.

Building and Maintaining Friendships

For people battling social anxiety, creating and upkeeping friendships may pose difficulties. However, implementing appropriate techniques while maintaining a hopeful mindset can help develop meaningful associations that stand the test of time. The following practical suggestions can lend guidance as you embark on this journey:

Nurturing Existing Friendships

  1. Regular Communication: Keep your friendship alive by staying connected with your friends through regular communication. Whether its through phone calls, text messages, or online chats making the effort to connect on a consistent basis will help keep you both feeling close and reinforce your bond.
  2. Quality Time: Plan and engage in activities with your friends that you both enjoy. It could be watching a movie, going for a walk, or having a meal together. Spending quality time together fosters deeper connections.
  3. Active Listening: Practice active listening when your friends share their thoughts, feelings, or experiences. Show genuine interest and empathy by giving them your full attention, maintaining eye contact, and asking follow-up questions.

Helpful tip: A secure attachment style forms a foundation of trust and emotional security in relationships. Nurture open communication and mutual support for lasting connections.

Overcoming the Fear of Rejection

  1. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Recognize that negative thoughts of being rejected or judged are often products of your anxiety rather than actual evidence. Challenge these thoughts by questioning their validity and replacing them with more positive and realistic beliefs.
  2. Start with Safe Social Interactions: Begin by engaging in low-pressure social interactions with people you feel comfortable around, such as close friends or family members. Gradually expose yourself to slightly more challenging social situations to build confidence.
  3. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and remember that making mistakes or facing rejection is a normal part of building friendships. Treat yourself with compassion and remind yourself that everyone experiences setbacks along the way.

Setting Realistic Expectations

  1. Understand Different Friendship Dynamics: Recognize that friendships come in various forms and intensities. Not all friendships will be deeply intimate, and that is okay. Each friendship can bring unique value to your life.
  2. Focus on Quality over Quantity: Instead of trying to accumulate a large number of friends, prioritize cultivating a few meaningful connections. Quality friendships provide genuine support, understanding, and companionship.
  3. Accept Individual Differences: Friends may have diverse personalities, interests, and communication styles. Embrace these differences and appreciate the unique perspectives and experiences your friends bring to the relationship.

Communicating Openly and Honestly

  1. Express Your Needs and Boundaries: Communicate openly with your friends about your social anxiety and any specific needs or boundaries you may have. Sharing your feelings and concerns can deepen understanding and foster a supportive environment.
  2. Be Authentic: Allow yourself to be vulnerable and authentic in your interactions. Sharing your true thoughts and emotions can help build trust and create a more meaningful connection with your friends.
  3. Conflict Resolution: Address conflicts or misunderstandings in a calm and respectful manner. Practice active listening, express your perspective without judgment, and work together to find mutually satisfactory resolutions.

Being a Good Listener and Offering Support

  1. Practice Empathy: Put yourself in your friends' shoes and try to understand their perspectives and emotions. Show empathy by offering support, validation, and encouragement when they face challenges or share their feelings.
  2. Be Reliable and Trustworthy: Show up for your friends and be reliable in your commitments. Respect their confidentiality and be someone they can trust and confide in.
  3. Celebrate Their Successes: Be genuinely happy for your friends' achievements and milestones. Celebrate their successes and provide them with the encouragement and support they need.


Making friends when you have SAD can be nerve-racking. It’s important to understand the source of your anxiety and how it affects you to take the necessary steps to make friends. Don’t be afraid, take one step at a time. Start with people who make you feel comfortable, join a group or club, and be patient.

Most importantly, don't forget to be yourself! If you need extra support, don't be afraid to seek help. Consider exploring online therapy, where professionals can guide you in building social connections, overcoming social anxiety, and enjoying a fulfilling life. With mutual effort and support, you can build your social circle, form in-person connections, and thrive.


What is the root cause of social anxiety?

The root cause of SAD is not fully understood, but it is believed to be a combination of genetic, environmental, and psychological factors. Some possible causes of social anxiety include genetics, brain chemistry, environmental factors, learned behavior, and personality traits. [6]

Can social anxiety cause you to have no friends?

Yes, social anxiety can cause a person to have difficulty making and maintaining friends. People with social anxiety tend to experience intense fear and anxiety in social situations, which can make them avoid social situations. This can lead to feelings of loneliness, isolation, and a lack of social support.


  1. Social Anxiety Disorder: More Than Just Shyness
  2. Tips and Tricks for Overcoming Social Anxiety
  3. How to Socialize When You Have Social Anxiety Disorder
  4. 8 ways to manage Social Anxiety Disorder
  5. 6 Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety
  6. Social anxiety disorder (social phobia)