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How Do I Tell If He Loves Me?

Last Updated
March 9, 2023

Signs He Loves You
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- He offers comfort, encouragement, and a listening ear
- He shares his thoughts, feelings, and concerns with you openly
- He actively listens when you
- He trusts you, respects your opinions, and values your individuality
- He is reliable and consistent in his actions and behavior
- He enjoys spending time with you
- He expresses his love through hugs, kisses, and other forms of physical affection
- He introduces you to his friends and family
- He pays attention to your likes, dislikes, and personal stories
- He takes your feelings into account when making decisions

First, think about how long you've been in your relationship. If it's only been a few weeks or months, it's new. Give yourself and your partner more time before deciding anything.

To know if your boyfriend really loves you, talk to a professional psychologist. They can help you see the signs of love.

Couple high-fiving

Signs A Man Has Deep Feelings For You

Eye contact is important to him

He values eye contact a lot. It helps him connect with you deeply. When he looks into your eyes, he's listening to your soul and feelings. It's his way of saying he's present and cares about you. In a world full of distractions, his focus on you is special. [1]

He's very giving

He always tries to make you laugh. He shares funny pictures, tells funny stories, or makes clever jokes. He wants to keep you smiling all the time.

He works hard to make you happy. This shows he cares about you a lot. Laughing together helps people connect. Bringing joy to someone else is important. [2]

A guy trying to make his girlfriend

He's constantly trying to make you laugh

He always tries to make you laugh with funny pictures, stories, or jokes. He wants you to be happy and smiling.

Making you laugh shows he really cares about you. Laughing together makes people feel close. It's special to make someone else happy. His actions show he truly cares about your happiness. This is a big part of love. [3]

He is always willing to help

He's always ready to help you, no matter what. If you have too much laundry, a flat tire, or a bad day, he's there quickly.

He really cares about you and wants to make things easier for you. He'll do extra and give up his own time for you. This shows he is serious about loving you. [4]

A man flirting with his girlfriend

He respects your boundaries

If you need alone time or are uncomfortable, he understands and respects that. Trust and understanding are key in a strong relationship, and he is committed to that. He is open to sharing personal parts of his life with you. [5]

He values your input

He listens to your thoughts and ideas. He takes them seriously and makes sure you are heard. You get a say in important things when you're with him.

This shows he is a good leader and cares about others. He respects you and values what you bring to the table. This helps build a strong, positive relationship. It's also how a guy shows real love and affection. [6]

A man showing affection to his girlfriend

He'll do things to make your life easier

He does little things to help you, like getting groceries or running errands. He might bring you coffee or take care of the kids to give you a break. He wants to support you and make your life easier.

Small acts of kindness show he values and appreciates you. You can tell he truly cares. You don’t need to worry about how he feels.

His commitment to this relationship is obvious

He is fully invested in making this relationship work and is always there for you, no matter what. He's not one to play games or lead you on, and you can always count on him to be honest and truthful.

He is sure about his feelings for you. He doesn't want other women and is clear about his future plans. You can feel safe in your relationship with him.

He's reliable

He's reliable, and that's a quality you can always count on. When he says he's going to do something, you can trust that he'll follow through on his promises. He's dependable, trustworthy, and always there when you need him.

Whether it's offering a shoulder to cry on or helping you move, he's always willing to lend a hand. You never have to worry about whether he'll come through because you know he will.

A couple posing for a photoshoot

He supports you emotionally

He supports you emotionally, and that's one of the most important things a partner can do for you. Emotional support is a vital part of a loving relationship, and it's essential to have someone who is there for you when you're feeling down.

He listens to you when you need to talk, offers a shoulder to cry on, and always makes you feel like you're not alone. He understands that life can be tough at times, and he's always there to support you and help you through it. [7]

A couple sharing dinner together

He includes you in any future plans

He includes you in his future plans. This shows he values you a lot. He always thinks about you when deciding things. He wants you to be part of his future plans. He won’t plan anything without asking you first. This shows he respects and considers you.[8]

He's open to communicating with you

He will listen to your point of view and be willing to talk through any issues that arise. He won't brush off your feelings or make you feel like your input is unimportant which shows that he's paying attention to you. [9]

A husband giving his girlfriend a gift

He cares for your well-being

He goes the extra mile to make sure you're feeling your best, both physically and emotionally. Whether it's reminding you to take a break from work, making you a nutritious meal, or simply asking how your day has been, he's always got your back. His genuine concern for your well-being is a testament to his deep feelings and the love he has for you. [10]

He likes to share his day with you

He tells you about his good and bad moments not just to talk, but to include you in his life. He shares his experiences and feelings with you. This shows he trusts and values you. These small moments of sharing make your bond stronger.

An affectionate boyfriend showing his girlfriend love

He is open with his emotions

A man who shares his feelings knows being real is key in a relationship. He doesn’t hide his emotions or act tough. He shows you his true self.

Being open like this helps you both connect deeply. It makes a safe place for honesty. This leads to a stronger, healthier bond between you two. [11]

He sends messages throughout the day

A guy who messages you all day wants to stay connected. He checks in and shares sweet words to show you’re always on his mind. He’s excited to share his thoughts and experiences.

Regular talking like this makes your bond stronger. It keeps the relationship exciting and new.

A boyfriend showing his girlfriend affection

He makes sure the two of you have quality time together

A man who makes time for you knows it’s important for growing your relationship and making memories. He puts distractions away to focus on you. This helps both of you connect more and enjoy being together.

His effort shows he wants your relationship to be strong and last a long time. It’s a clear sign he has deep feelings for you.

He lets you know how much he cares

A man who often says and shows he loves and values you is making it clear you’re important to him. It’s not just words; his actions and small gestures prove his feelings.

He’s open and vulnerable, showing his deep emotions. This is how he makes the bond between you stronger.

A man embracing his girlfriend

A loving partner puts in the effort to resolve conflicts

In a good relationship, solving problems together is important. A caring partner wants to understand you, not just win arguments. They focus on both of you benefiting.

They are open to compromise and can put their pride aside. This shows they are committed to keeping the relationship happy and strong. [12]

Tip: If you want to know if you're not meant to be or not, have a look at our article 'Signs You've Met Your Twin Flame: How To Recognize This Powerful Connection'.

He doesn't take you for granted

A man who values you will often show his thanks. He knows small things matter in a relationship. He won’t just think you know he’s thankful. He’ll show it with words and actions.

By making you feel important and noticed, he makes your bond stronger. This helps create a loving, supportive partnership. [13]

The Difference Between Love and Infatuation

Love and infatuation are strong feelings that can be mixed up. They might seem similar but are different in how deep they are, how long they last, and how they affect a relationship. Let’s look at the main differences between love and infatuation.

Depth of connection:

  • Love: In a loving relationship, partners develop a deep emotional connection, built on understanding, trust, and shared values. They genuinely care for each other's well-being and personal growth.
  • Infatuation: Infatuation often focuses on the surface-level attraction, such as physical appearance or certain personality traits. The connection is shallow and doesn't have the same level of emotional depth as love.

Time and longevity:

  • Love: Love is a long-lasting emotion that grows and evolves over time. As partners go through life's ups and downs together, their love strengthens and deepens.
  • Infatuation: Infatuation is typically short-lived, fading as the initial attraction wears off. It may last for weeks or months but rarely stands the test of time.

Stability and consistency:

  • Love: Love is consistent and provides a stable foundation for a lasting relationship. It's grounded in mutual respect, trust, and support.
  • Infatuation: This feeling comes with emotional ups and downs. Feelings can change a lot. It doesn’t have the steadiness needed for a long-lasting commitment.

Selflessness vs. selfishness:

  • Love: Love is selfless, with partners prioritizing each other's needs and happiness. They are willing to make sacrifices for the greater good of the relationship.
  • Infatuation: This feeling is often about what you want and how the other person makes you feel. It can make you possessive and jealous, instead of supportive of each other.

Acceptance and understanding:

  • Love: Partners in love accept and value each other’s flaws. They know no one is perfect and work together to get better as individuals and a couple.
  • Infatuation: This feeling often means seeing the other person as perfect and ignoring their flaws. This unreal view can lead to disappointment when the excitement goes away and the real person shows.

Communication and problem-solving:

  • Love: In love, partners talk openly and honestly. They work together to solve problems and conflicts. They listen, understand each other’s feelings, and work together to find answers.
  • Infatuation: This feeling can make people avoid hard talks or ignore the other person’s feelings. Not communicating well can make problems worse and stop a healthy, long-lasting relationship from developing [14]

Tips for Sustaining a Healthy, Loving Relationship

  • Foster open communication: Encourage open and honest dialogue with your partner about your feelings, needs, and concerns. Active listening and empathetic responses can strengthen emotional intimacy and help resolve conflicts.
  • Prioritize quality time: Set aside regular time for focused, meaningful interaction with your partner. Engage in shared activities, hobbies, or experiences that bring you closer and create lasting memories.
  • Address conflicts constructively: Approach disagreements with a willingness to understand your partner's perspective and work towards a mutually satisfying resolution. Avoid blame, criticism, and stonewalling, and instead, use "I" statements to express your feelings and needs.
  • Cultivate emotional intimacy: Share your thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities with your partner to deepen emotional bonds. Encourage your partner to do the same and validate their emotions.
  • Nurture physical affection: Maintain physical closeness through regular touch, hugs, and cuddling. This non-verbal expression of love can help strengthen the emotional connection between partners.
  • Support each other's growth: Encourage your partner's personal and professional goals, and seek their support for your aspirations. Celebrate each other's achievements and learn from setbacks together.
  • Develop trust and security: Demonstrate reliability and consistency in your actions, and communicate your commitment to your partner. Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship, and it takes time and effort to build.
  • Address attachment style differences: Understand your own and your partner's attachment styles, and discuss how they might impact your relationship. Work together to address any unhealthy patterns and foster a more secure attachment.
  • Practice gratitude: Regularly express appreciation for your partner and the positive aspects of your relationship. Gratitude can help cultivate a positive mindset and strengthen emotional bonds. [16]
A woman feeling sad from unrequired feelings

What To Do if He Doesn't Love You

If your partner isn’t showing real love signs, talk openly and honestly about your feelings and worries. He might need time to grow emotionally, or maybe the relationship isn’t right. Either way, focus on your well-being and get support from friends, family, or a counselor if needed.

Considering online therapy for couples counseling? Our latest article, "The Pros And Cons Of Using Online Therapy For Couples Counseling," offers a comprehensive analysis to help you make an informed decision on whether this option is right for your relationship.

Dealing with Unrequited Love or Infatuation

Unrequited love or infatuation can hurt and be hard, making you feel rejected and sad. But with these tips, you can handle your feelings, create boundaries, and move on to find a better, two-sided relationship.

  1. Acknowledge your feelings: It's essential to recognize and accept your emotions, whether they are love or infatuation. Denying your feelings can only prolong the healing process. Give yourself permission to grieve and process your emotions.
  2. Set boundaries: If the person doesn’t feel the same way, it’s important to set and keep healthy boundaries. This can mean talking to them less, not following them on social media, or staying away from places where you might see them.
  3. Focus on self-care: Put your mental, emotional, and physical health first. Do things that make you feel good. Exercise, eat healthy, sleep well, and be with friends and family who support you.
  4. Redirect your energy: Use your feelings to do productive activities or start new hobbies that make you happy. This can help you stop thinking about the unreturned love and make you feel better about yourself.
  5. Reflect on the experience: Think about why you were attracted to this person and what you can learn. This can give you insights into what you need and want, helping you make better choices later.
  6. Avoid idealizing the person: Remember, no one is perfect. Don’t think of the person you like as perfect. Knowing their flaws can help you see things more clearly and help you move on.
  7. Give yourself time: Healing from unrequited love or infatuation takes time. Be patient with yourself and allow the process to unfold naturally. Remember that it's okay to feel sad, but trust that you will eventually move on and find happiness again. [17]

The Importance of Self-Love and Self-Care in a Healthy Relationship

Cultivating self-love and practicing self-care are essential components of a healthy, loving relationship. Taking care of your emotional health and focusing on growing as a person makes a strong base for a good partnership. Here are tips to love and take care of yourself, alone or with a partner:

  1. Develop a self-care routine: Have a regular routine that focuses on your physical, emotional, and mental health. This can include exercising, meditating, writing in a journal, or doing hobbies that make you happy and relaxed.
  2. Set personal boundaries: Know your limits and communicate them clearly with your partner. Establishing boundaries is essential for maintaining a healthy sense of self and preventing codependency.
  3. Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes. Focus on your strengths, and avoid negative self-talk. Remember, self-compassion is a crucial aspect of self-love.
  4. Pursue personal growth: Look for chances to improve and grow yourself. You can go to workshops, read books, or take online courses. Growing yourself helps you add more to your relationship and connect better with your partner.
  5. Maintain a sense of independence: It’s good to share your life with your partner, but it’s also important to keep your own interests, friends, and identity. This balance makes the relationship healthier and stops too much dependence on each other.
  6. Communicate openly with your partner: Share your feelings, needs, and desires with your partner, and encourage them to do the same. Open communication helps build trust, understanding, and emotional intimacy.
  7. Support each other's self-care: Encourage your partner to take care of themselves and grow personally. Make time for it. When you both respect and support each other’s self-care, it makes the relationship stronger and helps both of you feel good.
  8. Schedule regular check-ins: Set aside time to regularly discuss your individual needs, feelings, and personal growth with your partner. These check-ins can help you stay connected and ensure that both partners are on the same page. [18]
A table that outlines the importance of self-love and self-care in a healthy relationship

Pros of self-love and self-care in a relationship:

  • Fosters personal growth and emotional well-being
  • Reduces codependency and encourages healthy boundaries
  • Enhances communication and emotional intimacy
  • Strengthens the overall health and stability of the relationship

Cons of neglecting self-love and self-care in a relationship:

  • Increases the risk of emotional dependency and codependency
  • Can lead to feelings of resentment or dissatisfaction
  • May hinder personal growth and overall well-being [18]

Conclusion

Figuring out if someone loves you can be hard. It means watching their actions, words, and behaviors and talking openly and honestly. If you’re having trouble understanding your partner’s feelings, or if the relationship is stressful, think about getting help from a therapist.

Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences below. Your comments can help and encourage others in similar situations. If you’ve thought about or tried online therapy for relationship issues, we’d like to hear your experience.

FAQ

How can I tell the difference between true love and mere desire or infatuation?

True love is a strong, passionate bond built on mutual trust and respect. It's the type of connection that lasts beyond physical attraction and mere emotion - it requires commitment from both partners to thrive. In contrast, infatuation or desire can be based merely on superficial values like good looks or momentary feelings.

What traits or acts might a man exhibit if he is not truly in love?

When a man isn't genuinely in love, his conduct may display signs of instability, minimal communication, and reluctance to pledge himself wholly to the romance.

References

  1. Social Self: Why Eye Contact is Important in Communication
  2. Stanford: To understand how people think, look to their actions, not their words, Stanford scholar says
  3. Body Language Central: What does it mean when a guy makes you laugh?
  4. Psychological Facts: 25 Mind-Blowing Psychology Facts About Guys In Love
  5. Healthy and Unhealthy Relationship Patterns
  6. Western Governors University: For Husbands Only: Why Do I Need To Listen To My Wife's Feelings?
  7. Walden University: 10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship
  8. Walden University: 10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship
  9. Merrimack College: HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
  10. Scholar Works: When A Man Love A Woman
  11. The Greater Good Science Center: 10 Pillars of a Strong Relationship
  12. Psychology Today: How to Tell if a Relationship Is Actually Working
  13. The Role of Appreciation in Relationships: A Journal Study
  14. The Role of Appreciation in Relationships: A Journal Study
  15. Research Gate: Infatuation, Romantic Relationship and Learning Behaviour among School Going Adolescents
  16. Research Gate: Learning Healthy Relationships
  17. Research Gate: Mutual and unrequited love in adolescence and young adulthood
  18. Jamie Grace: How To Get Over A Guy That Doesn't Like You Back
  19. Research Gate: Loving Oneself and Its Importance in Relationships

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