How to Overcome Self-hatred and Build Self-love

How to overcome self-hatred and build self-love is a critical challenge in this generation, as self-loathing is increasingly prevalent and can affect anyone with negative thought patterns. Those who experience self-loathing often engage in self-criticism and harsh self-judgment.

Various factors contribute to self-hate, which can lead to severe depression, unrealistic expectations, substance abuse, mental health conditions, and even suicidal thoughts. Therefore, it's crucial to address and transform these self-hating patterns into self-love.

A woman examines a fragmented reflection of herself in a broken mirror, symbolizing the complex journey of healing and self-reflection in the process of how to overcome self-hatred and build self-love.

How To Overcome Self-loathing Thoughts

Here are some ways to develop self-worth:

Practice Meditation or Mindfulness

Mindfulness exercises and meditation are beneficial techniques that encourage you to disregard self-deprecating thoughts and judgments, negative inner criticism, and many other self-loathing patterns. Consider exercising grounding techniques, deep breathing, or mindfully engaging in a favorite activity when feelings of self-loathing arise. Distract yourself from self-loathing thoughts by engaging in an activity you appreciate. [2]

Acknowledge and Enjoy Compliments

Accepting praise and compliments is difficult when you have a negative self-image. It could even seem strange and unsettling, prompting you to downplay its significance.

Learning how to receive a compliment takes practice, but you can do it! Say "thank you" and leave it at that the next time someone compliments you. Don't be tempted to respond with extreme self-criticism or dismissal. Remember to always move with positive people.

Practice Self-compassion

Those battling self-hatred frequently show a lack of empathy and self-care for themselves. Practicing self-compassion is essential in every aspect of life. Although it may seem complicated when you first start to practice self-compassion, it will become easier. One method to use in practicing self-compassion is always to treat yourself the same way you would treat a close friend or family member when they make a mistake. [3]

Self-compassion-focused therapy entails treating oneself with kindness and understanding rather than harshly evaluating and blaming oneself for the mistake. After all, nobody is perfect.

Find Opportunities to Reaffirm and Praise Yourself

Finding opportunities to praise yourself and do some positive self-talk is essential to counteract your low self-esteem. If you took a shower today, this is the ideal time to congratulate yourself for prioritizing your sanitation. Try rewarding yourself for employing self-soothing techniques when negative thoughts arise. Reinforcement and praise effectively increase desired behaviors, thereby displacing negative emotions and we believe the book, DEEP CLEARING: Balance Your Emotions, Let Go Of Inner & Outer Negativity, Shift To Higher Consciousness should help you achieve this.

Reframe Judgments as Facts

Judgments about oneself, such as "I'm a bad friend for talking behind her back," are a common manifestation of self-loathing. Try reframing these opinions as facts when you feel them coming on: "I was concerned about my buddy, so I talked to another one to gain ideas on how to help her." Removing the judgmental undertones from words like these allows you to assess whether your actions reflect your principles.

Make a Timeline of Self-Loathing to Explore its Roots

To validate your feelings and make adjustments, getting insight into the underlying causes of your behavior is helpful. Describe the first time you felt shame, the most recent time, and any critical moments. Recall times when you witnessed others engaging in self-defeating actions.

See a Therapist

Seeing a therapist could be beneficial if you are experiencing mental health difficulties. Although it is possible to change your perspective on your own, a therapist or an online therapy program can help you deal with past trauma, emotional reaction, negative inner critic challenges, and low self-esteem. A therapist can help change your self-destructive behaviors more swiftly and guide you toward more constructive thought patterns and mental health conditions.

An illustrated representation of self-care activities such as finding a hobby, exercising, getting adequate sleep, enjoying hot coffee, and connecting with friends, emphasizing the journey of how to overcome self-hatred and build self-love.

Take Care of Yourself

Instead of engaging in self-destructive actions, you should practice self-care. This strategy entails taking care of your physical and mental health by engaging in all activities that will keep you in good spirits. Eat nutritious foods, exercise regularly, get enough sleep, limit your use of social media and electronic devices, spend time in nature, and speak compassionately to yourself, to name a few self-care practices.

A grayscale photo of an individual hugging their knees close, conveying a moment of solitude and contemplation, symbolizing the theme of how to overcome self-hatred and build self-love.

Why Should You Overcome Self-hatred?

Self-loathing is toxic and detrimental to one's mental, emotional, and physical well-being. This feeling significantly contributes to depression, negative inner voice, worthlessness, low self-esteem, mental health issues, negative thoughts, and despair. [4]

You can learn to stop your self-hating thoughts and turn self-loathing into loving yourself by employing the appropriate methods.

There are different steps to developing self-love. The first step toward solving the problem is replacing your black-and-white thinking with more constructive, empowering ideas. Some other ways to build self-love include physical activity, meditation, journaling, and time spent in nature.

A man sits despondently on the edge of an unmade bed in a dimly lit room, looking down, epitomizing the struggle depicted in how to overcome self hatred and build self love.

What Causes Self-Hatred?

Below are some causes of self-loathing.

Traumatic Experiences

Some people develop thoughts of self-loathing after experiencing trauma at a young age. Some of these traumatic events include experiencing violence or a natural disaster. Even high school bullying can make some people feel terrible about themselves. Self-loathing can affect your mental health and well-being regardless of its origin or causes. [5]

Environmental Triggers

You may find yourself provoked by things that remind you of an unpleasant past event. For instance, a new coworker may remind you of a previous negative work experience you had while working at another place. Or a new acquaintance may talk about that your unpleasant childhood memory.

If your emotional response to a situation seems disproportionate to the circumstances, you may need to do more work to identify the factors holding you back. The assistance of a therapist or other mental health professional may facilitate the process.

Mental Health Problems

A mental health disorder, such as depression or anxiety, can cause self-loathing. Depression, for instance, can lead to a feeling of worthlessness because it is associated with ​hopelessness, guilt, and humiliation. [6]

You may begin to have a pessimistic outlook on yourself even more as these conditions shape your thinking. As a result, you may start to feel like people don't love you at all.

You can take this quick depression test to confirm if you have depression.

Attempts to Please Others

You may have picked meeting other people's expectations as a strategy for establishing and maintaining positive social relationships. Many people feel they can achieve well-being by using the positive reactions of others around them. This flawed thinking can easily lead to highly dependent habits, making you strive to live up to the standards set by others.

The inability to fulfill the expectations of others or the knowledge that you've let someone down can be devastating. This feeling that you've failed or are unworthy can result in self-hate.


When you look in the mirror after doing your hair, you might only like what you see if it matches the photo of the magazine cover model you were trying to emulate. When you put on clothes, they may not fit the way you imagined they would, which can lead to feelings of disgust with yourself. You might develop a critical attitude toward yourself if you don't change this mentality. Negative self-talk and even thoughts about your past mistakes may creep into your internal monologue. In such a situation, believing in yourself, loving yourself, and overcoming your negative feelings about yourself is crucial.

Meta Description

Self-loathing can stop you from achieving your goals. Thus, building self-love is essential. Learn how to overcome self-hatred and build self-love in this guide.


What are the roots of self-loathing?

Self-hate can stem from negative inner criticism, bullying, trauma, environmental triggers, and bad relationships.

How can I start liking myself?

You can build self-love by caring for yourself, identifying your strengths, and avoiding comparing yourself to others. It would be best if you also focus on positive reasoning.


  1. 'The last thing you feel is the self-disgust'. The role of self-directed disgust in men who have attempted suicide: A grounded theory study
  2. Mindfulness and meditation exercises
  3. The Role of Self-Compassion in Development: A Healthier Way to Relate to Oneself
  4. Self-disgust as a potential mechanism underlying the association between PTSD and suicide risk
  5. The Long Term Effects of Bullying
  6. What is depression?

Tips On How To Come Out To Your Parents

'How To Come Out To Your Parents' - as an LGBT teen can be both exhilarating and daunting. The prospect of sharing a significant part of your identity with loved ones can feel liberating, yet there's often worry about the impact on your familial relationships and their reaction.

Coming out is a deeply personal and emotional journey, necessitating thoughtful preparation and planning. Here are some tips and strategies to help you navigate this important conversation with your parents.

Joyful family embracing, symbolizing a supportive moment when someone might come out to their parents in a post about how to come out to your parents

Tips for preparing to come out to your parents

The process of preparing to come out to your parents as an LGBTQ adolescent can be a crucial one. As you get ready for this vital talk, keep the following suggestions in mind:

Try writing them a letter first

Consider writing a letter to your parents if you are not ready to have a direct conversation with them or prefer to communicate in writing.

Reflect on your feelings and identity

Consider your sentiments and identities before approaching your parents. It's crucial to give yourself some time to reflect on these issues. You may feel better prepared and in control of the conversation. Think about putting your ideas in writing or sharing them with a dependable ally or friend.

Consider Your Relationship With Your Parents

Every family is unique, so when getting ready to come out, it's crucial to consider how you and your parents interact. Consider their past interactions with challenging topics and whether you have any particular worries about how they handled them.

Seek out other family members

Many need to remember coming out to extended families such as aunts, uncles, and cousins. Even if coming out to them isn't essential for your peace of mind, it can open up the possibility of gaining more support from your LGBTQ community, even without parental involvement.

Reaching out to any close relatives who may have accepted their sexuality earlier can give insight into how they handled coming out and receiving acceptance. Knowing which family members have come before you on this path makes coming out more accessible and strengthens communication between yourself and the larger family unit.

Gather Support From Friends And Allies

Coming out can be a complicated process; therefore, having a network of friends and allies support is critical. Think about opening up to a close friend or relative you can trust or joining a support or therapy group.

Research Resources And Potential Challenges

As you get ready to come out, it's a good idea to look into resources and difficulties you might encounter. This can include details on LGBTQ+ rights in your area and tools for getting support and creating a welcoming, accepting community.

Diverse group of smiling young people holding a rainbow flag, representing unity and the joy of coming out to parents in a post about how to come out to your parents

Strategies for having the conversation

It's crucial to be ready and plan before conversing with your parents about who you are. Here are some tactics to take into account:

Choose a good time and place

It's crucial to pick a time and location that are both private and favorable to having a challenging conversation. Choose a moment when you and your parents are generally calm and unhurried. Think about whether you feel more comfortable having the conversation at home or in a neutral setting.

Consider using a script or talking points

A script or set of talking points might help direct the conversation. This can aid in maintaining concentration and ensuring you cover all the crucial topics you want to make.

The Top Communication Books or Affective Communication: Exploring The Link Between Language and Emotion, should help you express yourself.

Answer your parents' questions

Your parents might have questions, and it's essential to answer them honestly. Let them know if you don't know the answers or need more time to think about it.

If you don't feel comfortable answering some of their questions, you can always explain why and set boundaries as to what questions you're willing to answer.

Give your parents time

The acceptance process varies from family to family, while some may be incredibly open and supportive no matter what. Others may take a longer time to get used to the idea.

Practice self-care and stress management

Self-care and stress management are vital to practice because talking about your sexual orientation, or gender identity can be unpleasant. Make time for enjoyable activities that help you relax, such as deep breathing exercises or meditation. It would help if you also considered practicing relaxation techniques like these.

Understand that people react differently

Coming out to your parents can be nerve-wracking experience, and you may find that you need to prepare for a range of reactions mentally. People respond differently to news like this, and coming out is no exception.

Some parents understand the situation is not always set in stone, and the level of acceptance can vary depending on family dynamics. Though it is not easy, it may be necessary to remain even-keeled if you encounter any initial resistance.

Handling complex or adverse reactions

It's crucial to be ready for challenging or unfavorable reactions if you're coming out to your parents. You can take steps to deal with these feelings healthily and helpfully, even if it might be challenging to hear unpleasant comments or see your parents unhappy. Here are some ideas to think about:

Respond with kindness and empathy

If your parents react negatively, it's vital to remember that they are probably experiencing a range of emotions and might not fully get what you're going through. React with love and empathy. Try to be friendly and understanding in your responses and put yourself in their shoes.

Set boundaries and communicate your needs

You must set boundaries if your parents' responses are very upsetting or unsupportive. Informing your parents that you need some time or space to consider their response or that you want to continue the conversation once they are prepared to be more understanding is one way to do this.

Seek support from trusted friends and allies

Having a network of reliable friends and allies to lean on can be beneficial while handling challenging responses from your parents. These people can help you deal with your emotions and provide emotional support. And if you need help making friend, we suggest reading How To Make Friends When You Have Social Anxiety.

Consider professional counseling or therapy

Having a network of reliable friends and allies to lean on can be beneficial while handling challenging responses from your parents. These people can help you deal with your emotions and provide emotional support.

Exuberant group of friends laughing with a rainbow flag in the background, embodying support in coming out to parents in a post about how to come out to your parents

Finding and building your support system

Finding and creating a supportive group can be crucial to your development as a gay adolescent. Here are some pointers for locating and creating a supportive community:

Seek out an LGBTQ+ community

Support groups, social clubs, and youth organizations are just a few of the LGBTQ+ groups and resources that are available in many communities. These could be a fantastic method to get in touch with others who can relate to and share your experiences.

Here are some steps to help you find such communities using Google:

Explore online communities and forums

Many online forums and communities are dedicated to LGBTQ+ people and allies. These can be fantastic platforms for social interaction, question-asking, and the search for support and direction.

Consider joining a support group or therapy group

Being part of a support or therapy group, particularly for LGBTQ+ people, can be a terrific way to discover community and support. These groups can provide a secure and encouraging setting where you can talk about your experiences and difficulties and connect with people who can relate.

Find mentors who can offer guidance and support

Finding mentors who can offer guidance and support is a unique tool for coming out to your parents. It is often tough to take this first step, so having a support system of trusted adults is a great way to stay motivated and positive throughout the coming-out process.

Having someone with whom you can open up about how your coming-out journey has been going can provide reassurance in times of difficulty and confusion and offer helpful advice and a counsellor if needed. If coming out to your parents feels too much to take on alone, finding a mentor with similar experiences can ensure that you're not facing your challenges alone.

What To Do If You Have Homophobic Parents?

If you have homophobic parents, having a conversation about their religious views can be daunting. However, it's essential to lead with love and open the dialogue respectfully. But here are some things to remember before coming out;

Consider Becoming Financially Independent First

Becoming financially independent can be a critical step towards coming out to your parents. Being financially dependent on them for money or living in their home puts you at risk of losing essential resources if the conversation becomes difficult or if it turns out that they need to be more understanding and accepting.

Preparing yourself with a stable job, housing, and other financial support can give you more bargaining power and provide alternative solutions should things not work out as planned.

Keep pretending if coming out will put you in danger

If you are not ready to fully come out to your homophobic parents or if doing so would put you in trouble, it may be necessary to pretend to be someone you are not to survive and have a normal childhood.

Have a backup plan

If you are sure you want to come out, it is best to save money and plan where to stay if the situation does not go well. Consider making legal or financial plans ahead of time if your parents decide to cut off all ties with you.

Remind them you're the same person

Although you are coming out as something new, at the same time, you are still the same person they've always known. Remind your parents that no matter what changes your outlook, you will always view them in the same way, through the lens of unconditional love.

Give them the time and patience to adjust, and don't forget to remind them that even though it may be a new thing for them and their family, this is who you have been all along.

Different religious texts have other translations

Talking to family members - including our parents - about religious beliefs can be challenging. However, it's important to remember that different translations of holy books may have various interpretations.

If a family member believes their religion is right and everyone else's is wrong, it's crucial to remind them that faith is based on personal choice, not judgment or hate.

Forgive them but set boundaries

Setting boundaries and being clear about your needs will help you take care of yourself if your parents do not accept you. It's essential to prioritize your well-being and happiness, even if your parents are not getting it.

Reverse the situation

Coming out to your parents can be tricky, especially if it's not what they expect. Rather than allowing yourself to be at the mercy of their reaction, it might be helpful to flip things around and consider that you are rejecting them if they do not accept you're coming out.

Reframing the issue in this way allows you to maintain control and confidently stand by your thoughts and feelings without feeling pressured or judged.

Celebrate yourself

Finally, it's important to celebrate yourself and your identity. Surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are and create a space where you can express your true self.

Accepting yourself is critical to finding happiness, even if your parents disapprove of your lifestyle. To help celebrate, we recommend The Best LGBTQ Accessories.


Regardless of how your parents respond, it's important to remember that you are valuable and lovable irrespective of the outcome. You have the right to be accepted for who you are, but ultimately, it is up to you to take care of yourself if your parents do not receive you.

How Do You Prepare To Come Out As Queer?

There's no one right way to do this, as every person and situation is different. However, be sure to talk someone you trust about what you're planning to do, and prepare for possible negative reactions from those around you. Also, make sure you're ready emotionally and mentally before coming out.

What Is The Best Way For An Atheists To Come Out?

There is no one "right" way for atheists to come out, since there's no one right way to be atheist. Some people might choose to come out as atheists gradually, over time, to family and friends who they know will be supportive.

Others might choose to come out in a more public way, through social media or other online platforms. Still others might choose to come out as atheists in a more personal way, through conversations with close friends and family.

How Do You Tell If Your Parents Are Homophobic?

One way to tell if your parents are homophobic is if they make negative comments about LGBTQ people or refuse to accept them. Another way to tell is if they don't want you to associate with LGBTQ people or participate in LGBTQ-related activities.

Overcoming Agraphobia: Quality Information That Provides Results

What Is Agraphobia?
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What Is Agraphobia?
Agraphobia, also known as Contreltophobia, is a special kind of fear. People with this fear are really scared of sexual abuse or rape. This fear is so strong that it makes them very anxious and upset.

Causes of Agraphobia
- Being forced to sit on an adult's lap when not wanting to
- Sharing a bath or shower with an adult when not wanting to
- Accidental touching of body parts through clothing by an adult-
- Unwarranted affection from an adult
- Witnessing incidences of sexual abuse
- Being a victim of sexual abuse
- Experiences such as bereavement, divorce, or job loss can trigger the onset of this phobia
- Mental illnesses like depression, anorexia nervosa, or bulimia may increase the risk of
developing Agraphobia
- Misuse of substances

Symptoms of Agraphobia
- Perspiring
- Shaking
- Feeling overheated or experiencing cold flashes
- Breathing rapidly or struggling to breathe
- Feeling like you're choking
- Fast pulse
- Chest discomfort or constriction
- Feeling like there are fluttering sensations in your abdomen
- Upset stomach
- Experiencing headaches or a sense of unsteadiness
- Light-headedness
- Tingling or numb sensations
- Dryness in the mouth
- Frequent urge to use the restroom
- Hearing a buzzing sound in your ears
- Feeling puzzled or losing a sense of direction

Treatment of Agraphobia
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
- Antidepressants
- Anti-Anxiety Medications
- Relaxation Techniques
- Lifestyle Modifications
- Support Groups
- Self-Help Strategies
- Desensitization or Exposure Therapy
- Family Therapy
- Virtual Reality Therapy

Are you struggling with the overwhelming sensations associated with Agraphobia? This condition, characterized by an intense fear of certain environments or situations, can significantly hinder one's ability to live afulfilling life.

In our pursuit of understanding and overcoming Agraphobia, it's crucial to arm ourselves with reliable and practical information. Through this blog, we aim to provide insights into the nature of Agraphobia, its causes, symptoms, and the most effective treatment strategies available.

Origins Of The Word 'Agraphobia'

The word agraphobia has its origins in the Greek words for:-

There is a marked difference between fear and phobia.[1]

Fear Can Be Both Rational & Irrational

Fear can be 2 different kinds. Fear can manifest in two distinct types: Rational fear and irrational fear. Rational fear arises from tangible threats, like the danger of cars on a busy street where kids play. In contrast, irrational fear stems from unlikely scenarios, such as the notion of drowning in a shower. Sometimes, fear encompasses aspects of both. When fear becomes overwhelming, possibly signaling anxiety disorders or mental health conditions, seeking medical advice is beneficial.[2]

Rational Fear

Imagine you are awoman with ahistory of previous sexual abuse, indicative of intense fear and anxiety disorders. You're waiting for an elevator in amulti-story building. When it arrives, alone man inside invites you in.

You decline, your refusal rooted in a rational fear amplified by your history. The man, unaware of your past and mental health struggles, perceives this as a personal affront, leading to an uncomfortable situation. This incident could trigger a panic attack, characterized by excessive fear and symptoms like excessive sweating.

To manage the situation and avoid stress, you resort to anger management techniques learned from previous stressful life events and therapy for mental health disorders. You calmly exit, reaching for your panic disorder medication.

Considering your background and the risk factors involved, your reaction is entirely rational. It's a protective response informed by your fear of sexual abuse, a common issue in mental health conditions. In this context, you might be diagnosed with Agoraphobia, amental health disorder related to excessive worry and fear in certain environments.[3]

A woman with wide eyes and a tense expression in a post about agraphobia

An irrational fear

Irrational fears differ fundamentally from rational fears. The latter are responses to real dangers, like injuries from falls or snake bites. Irrational fears, however, are often about benign situations. They can become so pervasive that they disrupt normal living.

These fears frequently originate from traumatic childhood events. For instance, a dog scare in childhood might lead to a lifelong cautious approach around dogs. But when the fear escalates to the point of avoiding all outdoor activities to evade dogs, it transforms into an irrational fear. Such fears can be directed at seemingly harmless objects or situations, like balloons or sleeping, and are often indicative of other phobias.

The defining characteristic of these fears is their disproportionate impact on one's life, often without any real justification.[4]

What Is Agraphobia?

Agraphobia, also known as Contreltophobia, is aspecial kind of fear. People with this fear are really scared of sexual abuse or rape. This fear is so strong that it makes them very anxious and upset. Because of this, they might avoid places or situations where they feel scared, even if there's no real danger.

This fear can really change how someone lives. It's more than just being careful; it's afear that can stop them from doing normal things. It's important for these people to get help from a doctor or therapist. These experts can help them feel less scared and live a better life.[5]

Prevalence of Agraphobia?

As adults we have the capacity to identify and avoid potentially abusive situations, therefore agraphobia is more prevalent among children and teenagers who do not have that same capacity. In most cases, adults with agraphobia have mentally carried over a sexually traumatic event from their childhood or teenage years.

A young woman hiding behind her legs in a post about agraphobia

Causes of Agraphobia

Genes or Heredity

Twin studies conducted by our group have found phobias in adults to be moderately heritable (30–40%), with phobia subtypes having overlapping genetic and environmental influences as well as subtype-specific factors.[8]This suggests that, for reasons that are genetic, some individuals are more prone to mental disorders, anxiety attacks, or even severe panic attacks than others.

When trying to explain the reasons for their repeated panic attacks, anxiety disorders, or behaviors that are not easily understood by others, an adult with aphobia might attribute it to genetic factors and family history. They often express uncertainty about the causes of their actions, saying, "I don't know why I did that. It very possibly has something to do with my genes and my family history or heredity."

A woman being robbed in a post about agraphobia

Mental Health and Anxiety Disorder - a Double-Edged Sword of Concern

People with agraphobia often feel very embarrassed during apanic attack. They try hard to avoid situations that might be embarrassing. This makes their friends and family worried about their mental health. This worry has two sides.

Firstly, loved ones want to help. They encourage the person with agraphobia to get professional help for their anxiety and mental health issues.

But, there's another side. This push for help can make the person with agraphobia even more determined not to feel embarrassed. They think, "If I don't get embarrassed, they won't say I need help." So, they start avoiding normal activities to prevent panic attacks and stress.

By doing this, they hope to escape embarrassing moments. But this actually makes their family and friends more insistent on them seeking professional help. This cycle continues, with the person with agraphobia trying to avoid embarrassment and others urging them to get help.


Stress very easily develops into one of many other phobias, of which agraphobia is one.[9] To help you manage your stress, we suggest Stress Balls or Goodbye Stress Softgels.

A fearful woman hiding from her abuser in a post about agraphobia

Movies and the Media

Movies, printed media, and access to porn all play apart in the causes of agraphobia among children and teenagers. Children and teenagers constantly hearing or seeing stories related to sexual abuse is amajor contributing factor in them developing agraphobia.[10]

The Symptoms of Agraphobia

Aside from the mental symptoms, an adult phobic will go to great lengths to avoid what others might think of as being normal physical behavior of a couple in a serious romantic relationship.

Among adults, this illogical extreme fear of an intimate activity inevitably results in a reduced frequency of consensual sex[11]. To learn more about toxic relationships, we suggest reading Relationship Red Flags You Should Know.

Children and teenagers will show their fears by going to great lengths to avoid being in the company of specific adults. This misunderstood behavior is the cause of much family friction, especially if the abuser is a relative or family friend.

In severe cases, those with agraphobia or contreltophobia may experience any number of the following physical symptoms:-

  1. Perspiring
  2. Shaking
  3. Feeling overheated or experiencing cold flashes
  4. Breathing rapidly or struggling to breathe
  5. Feeling like you're choking
  6. Fast pulse
  7. Chest discomfort or constriction
  8. Feeling like there are fluttering sensations in your abdomen
  9. Upset stomach
  10. Experiencing headaches or asense of unsteadiness
  11. Light-headedness
  12. Tingling or numb sensations
  13. Dryness in the mouth
  14. Frequent urge to use the restroom
  15. Hearing abuzzing sound in your ears
  16. Feeling puzzled or losing asense of direction[12]

Very severe cases of these symptoms often result in a full-blown panic attack. Those who constantly experience panic attacks can develop depression. Depression can eventually can lead to psychiatric treatment and or hospitalization.

As a parent with a pre-pubescent child, look for the visible warning flags.

Young woman hiding in a corner in a post about agraphobia

Treating Agraphobia In Young Children

When a kid has a phobia, their treatment depends on how old they are, how they feel, and how serious the phobia is. Phobias can get better! Here's what might help a kid:

  1. Therapy Just for Them: This helps kids learn how to handle scary feelings and panic, in case it happens. We suggest online therapy for convenience.
  2. Family Therapy: Mom, dad, or other family members are super important in getting better.
  3. Help at School: Talking with teachers and school counselors can spot a phobia early. They can work together to make a plan that helps the kid at school.
  4. Medicine: Sometimes, medicine can make kids feel less panicked or scared. But, it's important to know about any side effects and why the medicine is needed.

Each kid is different, so their treatment might be different too. The goal is to help them feel less scared and more confident.[14]

Agraphobia Prevalence and Treatment in a table

Treating a Teenager or Young Adult

Here, the signals that your teenage son or daughter has been sexually abused are likely to be more pronounced. They will be angry, frustrated, embarrassed, and want to be left alone. They may even be signs of drug abuse.

You have to get them to talk. Go for walks together. Go for a drink together.

Get them to talk. Once they admit they have been sexually abused, suggest a self-help option to treat agraphobia and irrational thoughts. These self-help treatment methods can vary between:-

If none of this works, then seek professional help. The worst thing you can do is to do nothing, and the abuse is left untreated. This results in a panic disorder requiring anti-anxiety drugs as treatment.

Not All Agraphobics Have Been Sexually Abused

Learned Response

Phobia can manifest as learned responses. If achild gets told often enough that spiders are dangerous, that child will soon build up alifelong irrational fear of all spiders, even the harmless ones. (arachnophobia- afear of spiders).[15]

Good Touching & Bad Touching

Teaching kids about 'good touch' and 'bad touch' is really important for keeping them safe. It helps them know the difference between kind, loving touch, which is good for them and makes them feel safe, and touch that is not okay, making them uncomfortable or scared. This way, kids learn about personal space and can tell if someone's behavior is wrong.[16]

Some people think that teaching this stuff might scare kids too much, but that's not true. It's really important to teach kids about these things in a way that's right for their age. It helps them feel in charge of their own bodies and know how to set limits. This doesn't mean they will be scared of all touch or get the wrong idea about nice gestures. It just means they'll know what's safe and what's not.

Parents sometimes worry about their kids being touched by adults who aren't their parents. But not all touch is bad. Parents have abig job to talk openly and teach their kids about this in away that's right for their age. This helps kids understand how to be careful with touching, while still enjoying hugs and affection.[17]


There is no specific treatment to cure Agraphobia.

The treatment options we have, can at best help to relieve the symptoms of agraphopbia. These treatments vary between cognitive behavioral therapy and psychotropic medications.

Exposure therapy is another commonly employed therapy wherein the patient, over the duration of the treatment is exposed to their phobia for short periods of time, and in this way gradually comes to accept those specific situations pose no danger to them and they have no rational reason to fear for their safety.


Is sexual abuse and domestic abuse the same thing?

No. Sexual abuse is any non-consensual sexual activity such as rape, child sexual abuse, or sexual harassment. It can also be both verbal and physical. Domestic abuse can be physical, emotional, psychological, or financial. It generally takes place within a close relationship or partners living together, or family members.

Can sexual abuse trigger early puberty?

Yes. Sexually abused girls reach puberty before their peers.

Can sexual abuse make you hypersexual?

Sexual abuse at any age may predict hypersexuality. However, the association is stronger in men who have experienced sexual abuse earlier in their lives.


  1. very well mind: Differences Between Fear and Phobia Responses
  2. Health Research Policy: Rational vs. Irrational Fear
  3. Fearof: Fear of Sexual Abuse Phobia
  4. the awareness centre: What is an Irrational Fear and How Can I Overcome One?
  5. Drlogy: What is Contreltophobia?
  6. NHS: Causes - Agoraphobia
  7. MSN: Agoraphobia
  8. Pubmed: The Genetic and Environmental Structure of Fear and Anxiety in Juvenile Twins
  9. Mind: Phobias
  10. digital wellness lab: Fear and Anxiety
  12. NHS: Symptoms - Phobias
  13. Rainn:Warning Signs for Young Children
  14. nation wide childrens: Phobias in Children
  15. Mind: Phobias
  16. the premia academy: Good Touch Vs Bad Touch
  17. WIRC-CAA: Safe and Unsafe Touches

⚠️ Disclaimer: The content of this article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice or treatment. Consult a qualified health professional for any medical concerns.

Effects Of Narcissistic Abuse On The Brain

Understanding the effects of narcissistic abuse on the brain is crucial for those who have endured such trauma. Being around a narcissist, who often believes they are superior and demands constant respect, can be damaging not just emotionally, but also neurologically.

Narcissistic abuse, inflicted by someone with narcissistic tendencies, can lead to more than just hurt feelings; it can result in actual brain damage. Such abuse has the potential to alter brain functions and cause lasting harm. This article aims to delve into these effects and offer coping mechanisms for recovery.

Torn paper with abuse typed on it in a blog about Effects Of Narcissistic Abuse On The Brain

What is the definition of narcissistic abuse?

Pubmed's study "Recognising Narcissistic Abuse and the Implications for Mental Health Nursing Practice" states that someone who holds very high standards for themselves and demands special attention from others brings on narcissistic abuse. They could be highly egotistical and indifferent to the needs or feelings of others.[1]

Physical, mental, or emotional abuse by narcissists is possible. Anything that makes someone uncomfortable or hurt can qualify.

Name-calling, pressuring someone into doing something they don't want to do, or even physically harming someone are some signs of an abusive partner. It's crucial to remember that, regardless of the circumstance, it is never acceptable for someone to abuse you.

Narcissistic man cuddling his wife in a blog about Effects Of Narcissistic Abuse On The Brain

The prevalence of narcissistic abuse

The following figures highlight the need for increased awareness and understanding of narcissistic personality disorder, particularly among these populations, as The Recovery Village explains. The prevalence of narcissistic personality disorder varies among different demographics. [2]It is estimated to occur in;

Many believe it is a reasonably common abuse, especially in romantic partnerships. Any interaction, including friendships, families, and work partnerships, can experience narcissistic abuse.

It is crucial for those who have experienced narcissistic abuse to seek support and assistance to heal and rehabilitate since narcissistic abuse can lead to actual physical brain damage.

According to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey[3];

An abused victim hiding in a blog about Effects Of Narcissistic Abuse On The Brain

How does narcissistic abuse affect the brain?

Abuse at the hands of narcissists can have negative and protracted repercussions on the brain. There is an exceptionally high correlation between narcissistic abuse and trauma.

According to Hack Spirit's article, Neuroscience: The shocking impact narcissistic abuse has on the brain, the brain of a victim of narcissistic abuse interprets the abuse as a danger to their safety and well-being. This may trigger the brain's "fight, flight, or freeze" response - a normal reaction to danger. The brain then releases cortisol and other stress hormones to aid the person in overcoming the perceived threat.[4]

The brain can be harmed by prolonged stress, such as that brought on by narcissistic abuse.

The hippocampus, a part of the brain involved in learning, memory, and emotion regulation, can shrink due to chronic stress. It causes alterations in brain structure and function. The likelihood of developing mental health conditions, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and depression, can rise due to these brain changes.

A drug addicted woman in a blog about Effects Of Narcissistic Abuse On The Brain

The connection between narcissistic abuse & mental health problems

There is a connection between narcissistic abuse, the emergence of mental health problems, and the relationship between narcissistic abuse and trauma.

Chronic stress and trauma can alter the brain in ways that can result in the emergence of mental health conditions, including PTSD and depression. This cycle of abuse and mental health problems can be exacerbated by these mental health problems, which can also affect how the brain functions.

To address the effects of the abuse on their mental health and to stop this cycle, those who have experienced narcissistic abuse must seek treatment.

A fearful woman in a blog about Effects Of Narcissistic Abuse On The Brain

The long-term effects of narcissistic abuse

An individual's mental health and well-being may be adversely affected by the long-term effects of narcissistic abuse. Research Gate explains that experiencing a traumatic event, such as narcissistic abuse, will have victims exhibiting signs of;[5]

Increased chance of acquiring mental health issues such as PTSD and depression

Narcissistic abuse can be painful, and the experience of that consistent emotional trauma can lead to the emergence of symptoms similar to PTSD and depression. These ailments can be difficult to manage and negatively impact a person's quality of life.

Trust, attachment, and intimacy issues

Issues with intimacy, trust, and connection can result from narcissistic abuse, making a victim feel unsafe emotionally and physically. Because of this, it may be challenging for someone who has suffered from narcissistic abuse to build solid relationships or feel comfortable being vulnerable in front of others. As a result, a person's social and emotional health could suffer.

Cognitive dysfunction and poor decision-making

Cognitive functions are the mental operations that allow us to think, learn, and remember. Decision-making is the capacity to choose and make decisions. The consequences of narcissistic abuse on the brain can affect these abilities, making it difficult for a person to think clearly and make good decisions. As a result, a person's ability to complete daily duties may remain the same.

Difficulty managing emotions

Narcissistic abuse can make a person feel various feelings, such as fear, guilt, shame, and grief. These strong feelings might be challenging to control, and one could have trouble regulating them.

Flashbacks of the traumatic events

Narcissistic abuse might bring on flashbacks of the traumatic event. These flashbacks can be incredibly vivid and lifelike, giving the impression that the horrific incident is currently occurring.

Feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest in routinely enjoyable activities

Sadness, helplessness, and a lack of interest in often festive activities are depression symptoms that may develop over time due to narcissistic abuse of the brain.

Chronic stress and trauma can alter the brain in ways that can result in the emergence of mental health conditions

The hippocampus may atrophy due to the consistent emotional trauma caused by narcissistic abuse, and other brain structure and function changes may also occur. These changes may pave the way for the onset of mental health illnesses, including PTSD and depression.

Difficulty establishing solid connections

A narcissistic abuser can make a person feel physically and emotionally uncomfortable. This might make it challenging for someone who has suffered from narcissistic abuse to build strong relationships with others. Establishing and keeping healthy relationships with them may be difficult since they may feel uneasy and untrustworthy.

Social and emotional health may suffer

Abuse of the selfish kind can hurt a person's social and mental well-being. A person may find it challenging to interact with others, partake in social activities, and develop lasting relationships due to the trauma and stress brought on by the abuse. This may make it difficult to sustain good connections and cause feelings of loneliness and isolation.

The abuse may impact the capacity to carry out daily tasks

Narcissistic abuse can impair one's concentration and clear thinking, making it challenging to do daily chores. Additionally, it may lead to cognitive dysfunction and lousy decision-making, making it difficult for a person to organize, plan, and carry out everyday tasks.

Increased tendency to avoid triggers

Narcissistic abuse can lead to the development of triggers or stimuli that bring up terrible memories in the victim's mind. People with PTSD may avoid particular situations, people, or activities that bring up their horrific experiences. They may find it challenging to participate in specific actions, affecting their quality of life.

Panic attacks, and chronic anxiety

Because narcissistic abuse makes a person feel uneasy, afraid, and on edge all the time, it can lead to panic. The victim of narcissistic abuse may experience confusion, loneliness, and persistent doubting of their reality due to manipulation, gaslighting, and verbal abuse.

This pervasive feeling of emotional and psychological distress might result in an elevated level of anxiety that can bring on panic attacks. It would help if you addressed the long-term repercussions of narcissistic abuse on the brain, and those who have suffered them should seek therapy to learn coping mechanisms.[6]

A woman healing with healing spelled out behind her in a blog about Effects Of Narcissistic Abuse On The Brain

Recovering from long-term narcissistic abuse

It's critical to get support if you or someone you know has endured narcissistic abuse to deal with the repercussions on the brain and start the healing process. Very Well Mind's blog, Stages of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse, suggests the following is among the most crucial things you can do[7];

Support groups

Becoming a support group member can offer a secure and encouraging setting where people can connect with others who have gone through comparable situations. Support groups can be an effective aid in the recovery process by fostering a sense of belonging and validation.


Self-care involves caring for one's physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This can include working out, meditating, practicing yoga, keeping a journal, and spending time in nature.

Setting boundaries

Setting boundaries is essential for people who have experienced abuse in a relationship. It's crucial to learn how to say "no" to additional abuse and create boundaries with the abuser.

Safety planning

A safety plan is crucial for people who have experienced abuse in a relationship. This can involve making a list of secure locations to go to, virtual phone numbers, and a strategy for getting out of an abusive situation.


Drugs can effectively address some signs and symptoms of misuse, such as anxiety and depression. Before ingesting any medicine, get medical advice.

Seek Legal Help

If you are being abused, you should take legal action. Getting legal assistance can aid with custody, divorce, and restraining orders.

Seek Professional Help

Getting professional assistance might help you comprehend and view the situation differently. You can start to understand the complexities of the abuse and begin to process the trauma with the aid of a therapist, counselor, or counselor.


Journaling can be a powerful emotional freedom technique for recovering from trauma. It can offer people a private and secure forum for expressing their feelings. Writing about one's experiences might be a method to process them and release bottled-up emotions, as explained by the APA's study, Writing to heal.

Additionally, keeping a journal can help one keep track of their development and gauge how far along they are in the healing process.[8] And for daughters who's suffered under a narcissistic mother, we suggest reading The Best Books On Healing From Narcissistic Mothers For Daughters.


Using meditation to assist in managing the effects of abuse can be very beneficial. It can encourage quiet and inner serenity while helping in reducing stress and anxiety. According to Medical News Today, meditation allows you to focus the mind and develop emotional management abilities.[9]


Bodybuilding or physical exercise can be a great way to help individuals heal from abuse. Regular exercise can help to reduce stress and anxiety and can promote feelings of well-being.

It can also provide a sense of empowerment and control, which can be especially beneficial for those in a controlling and abusive relationship, as stated in IOI's blog "Rape victim muscles up, opens gym for abused women." Additionally, bodybuilding can help individuals feel stronger and more confident in themselves, which can be an essential step in the healing process.[10]

It's crucial to remember that recovering from narcissistic abuse requires time, and it's acceptable to move at your own pace. Asking for assistance when you need it is also good. Resources are available to help you on your path to recovery and healing.


The effects of narcissistic abuse are both mental and physical. As we now know, narcissistic abuse can cause brain damage. This is due to the stress on the victim's body and the cognitive dissonance caused by gaslighting.

Narcissistic abuse is a form of domestic violence and should be taken seriously. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, please seek help from a professional and call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) (the national domestic violence hotline).


Can narcissistic abuse cause brain damage?

People who have been subjected to narcissistic abuse may develop changes in their hippocampus, which controls memory, emotion regulation, and stress response. Additionally, this kind of abuse can cause chronic stress and inflammation, which can harm other parts of the brain including the prefrontal cortex, which is in charge of making decisions, and the amygdala, which is in charge of processing emotions.

How does narcissistic abuse affect the development of the brain?

It is true that narcissistic abuse can cause PTSD and despair. Narcissistic abuse can set off the body's fight or flight reaction and result in PTSD symptoms like nightmares, anxiety, and flashbacks. Additionally, it influences how the brain processes emotions, which may result in depression.


  1. Pubmed: Recognising Narcissistic Abuse and the Implications
  2. therecoveryvillage: Narcissistic Personality Disorder Statistics
  3. National Data on Intimate Partner Violence, Sexual Violence, and Stalking
  4. hackspirit: The shocking impact narcissistic abuse has on the brain
  5. researchgate: The Effects of Emotional Abuse and Neglect in Adulthood
  6. researchgate: The Effects of Emotional Abuse and Neglect in Adulthood
  7. Very Well Mind: Stages of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
  8. APA: Writing to heal
  9. Medical News Today: Mindfulness meditation helps to control emotions, says study
  10. IOI: Rape victim muscles up, opens gym for abused women

Introvert Burnout: How To Recharge And Care For Your Needs

Are you struggling with introvert burnout? Are you an introvert feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, and burnt out? If so, know that you are not alone! Most introverts struggle with a burnout at some point in their lives.

Burnout is a painful experience that can leave us feeling drained and discouraged, but it doesn't have to last forever. As introverts, we can do many things to recharge our energy and take care of our needs. 

Pro Tip: Journaling is an excellent way for introverts to track their needs and conveniently. The Best Self-Care Journals For Women's Mental Health should be able to help you with this.

An introvert hiding behind a book from other 2 women in a post about Introvert Burnout

What does it mean to be an introverted personality?

Having an introverted personality means that a person tends to gain energy from spending time alone and may feel drained after spending time in social situations or environments that are stimulating.

Additionally, introversion does not mean that a person is shy or socially anxious, although those can be related but are different traits. It's simply a personality trait; about 50% of the population is introverted. Deloitte reports that an overwhelming amount of respondents (91%) claim unmanageable stress and frustration degrade the quality of their work. Additionally, 83% state burnout from work can damage personal relationships.

Introverts may prefer more solitary activities, such as reading, writing, or working on a hobby, and may find that they need time alone to recharge after being in a group setting.

An introvert women hiding in a box in a post about Introvert Burnout

Definition of introvert burnout

Introvert burnout is a state of mental and physical stress caused by excessive socialization or a lack of time for solitude and rest, as stated by Introversion: relationship with mental well-being. It's experienced by introverts who feel drained and overwhelmed by the demands of social interactions and the need to be "on constantly."

Introvert burnout can lead to frustration, irritability, and a lack of motivation or energy. In severe cases, introvert burnout can result in physical illness or a decline in overall well-being. Introverts need to recognize the signs of burnout and take steps to prevent it by setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care.

A women hiding in her room in a post about Introvert Burnout

Why it's important to recognize and address introvert burnout

Introvert burnout occurs when introverts, who typically require much alone time to recharge, are constantly in social or stimulating environments without sufficient time to recharge.

This can lead to fatigue, irritability, and difficulty concentrating, as explained by the University of Northern Iowa's study called Introversion: relationship with mental well-being. Recognizing and addressing introvert burnout is essential because, if left unacknowledged, it can lead to more severe issues.

Introvert Burnout Impacts Your Health

Burnout can have adverse effects on your physical and mental health. Chronic fatigue, irritability, and a lack of motivation can take a toll on your well-being and lead to physical illness.

Introvert Burnout Impacts Relationships

Burnout can impact your relationships and social life. Feeling overwhelmed and drained, you may withdraw from social activities or have a more challenging time connecting with others.

Introvert Burnout Impacts Your Productivity

Burnout can affect your productivity and overall quality of life. Concentrating or getting things done can be challenging when you're burnt out, which can impact your work or other areas of your life.

Recognizing and addressing burnout can help you prevent it from getting worse. You can protect your health, relationships, and overall well-being by avoiding burnout. You can even take control of your well-being and prevent it from negatively impacting your life.

A stressed women feeling depressed in a post about Introvert Burnout

Symptoms of introvert burnout

Experiencing introvert burnout can be a tricky and challenging situation to manage. It is essential to recognize the signs indicating that you are at risk of or in the throes of introvert burnout. According to Sage Journals, symptoms can include;

Physical symptoms of introvert burnout 

These symptoms can be caused by the body being stressed and overworked. Physical signs of introvert burnout can include:

Emotional symptoms of introvert burnout

This can happen when we feel overwhelmed and drained. Emotional symptoms of introvert burnout can include:

Behavioral symptoms of introvert burnout 

This can happen when we don't have enough energy or motivation. Behavioral symptoms of introvert burnout can include:

Pay attention to these symptoms and take breaks or ask for help if you need it. Ignoring these symptoms can make them worse and lead to even more problems.

An introvert women being judged at work in a post about Introvert Burnout

Causes of introvert burnout

According to Research Gate's study Introversion, Solitude, and Subjective Well-Being, Introvert burnout is a growing problem in our overstimulated world. It occurs when one's energy and motivation are depleted from being constantly exposed to heavy social demands.

Chronic social exhaustion

Introverts may experience fatigue and depletion after prolonged social interactions or exposure to large groups of people. This can lead to burnout as they struggle to recharge their energy through solitude and introspection.

Overstimulation from external sources

Introverts may be sensitive to loud noises, bright lights, and other external stimuli that can be overwhelming and draining. This can lead to burnout as they navigate a world that is only sometimes conducive to their needs.

Lack of alone time or opportunities for solitude

Introverts may require regular periods to recharge and rejuvenate. When this need is not met, they may experience burnout as they struggle to find ways to be alone and restore their energy.

Pressure to conform to extroverted societal norms

Introverts may feel pressure to conform to societal standards that value extroversion and social interaction. This can lead to feelings of burnout as they try to fit into a world that may not fully understand or appreciate their needs.

Difficulty setting boundaries and saying no to social invitations or demands

Introverts may have trouble setting boundaries and saying no to social invitations or requests. This can lead to feelings of burnout as they struggle to maintain a balance between their need for solitude and the demands of their social life.

Inadequate time for self-care and self-reflection

Introverts may struggle to make time for self-care and self-reflection. This can lead to feelings of burnout as they neglect their own needs in favor of meeting the demands of others.

Constant stimulation from technology and social media

Introverts may be sensitive to continual stimulation from technology and social media. This can lead to feelings of burnout as they struggle to disconnect and find time for solitude and introspection.

Difficulty expressing oneself and communicating needs

Introverts may need help speaking and sharing their needs. This can lead to feelings of burnout as they struggle to be understood and have their needs met.

Inability to recharge energy through introspection

Introverts may struggle to restore their power through reflection and solitude. This can lead to feelings of burnout as they try to find ways to recharge and rejuvenate.

Lack of understanding and validation from others

Introverts may feel misunderstood and undervalued by others. This can lead to feelings of burnout as they struggle to find confirmation and acceptance for their unique needs and preferences.

Paying attention to these things and balancing your social commitments with enough time for rest and self-care is essential. This can help prevent burnout.

An introvert hiding a box with headphones in a post about Introvert Burnout

Strategies for preventing and addressing introvert burnout

There are several strategies you can use to prevent and address introvert burnout:

Prioritize self-care

Introverts need to make time for self-care, which can help them recharge and feel more energized.

This can include exercise, healthy eating, and getting enough sleep. Additionally, introverts should take care of their emotional and mental well-being by engaging in activities they enjoy, such as reading or writing.

Set boundaries

Introverts often feel drained by social interactions and obligations, so setting boundaries and learning to say no to commitments that are not essential is essential. This can help introverts conserve their energy and avoid burnout.

Find some alone time

Introverts often find solitude to be rejuvenating, so it's essential to find ways to be alone and recharge. This can include meditation, journaling, or spending time in nature.

Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness practices can help introverts stay present at the moment and reduce stress and anxiety. This can include deep breathing, yoga, or tai chi. A Yoga Mat should help you to get started.

Take time for hobbies

Engaging in activities they enjoy, such as reading, writing, or playing an instrument, can help introverts relax and recharge.

Practice good communication

Good communication is essential for introverts to express their needs and feelings to others. This can include being clear and direct in their contact and learning to say no when necessary.

4 Essential Keys to Effective Communication in Love, Life, Work can teach you to communicate correctly, and in a way, others will understand you.

Seek a mental health professional

If an introvert is experiencing burnout, they should consider seeking the help of an online therapist or counselor. A professional can help them identify the root causes of their burnout and develop strategies to manage it.

Limit social media

Spending too much time on social media can be draining for introverts, as it can lead to constant stimulation and comparison to others. Limiting social media use can help introverts reduce stress and conserve energy.

Plan downtime

Scheduling regular time to relax and recharge, such as taking a walk or a nap, can help introverts avoid burnout.

Get organized

Organizing their schedule and prioritizing tasks can help introverts reduce stress and increase productivity.

Learn to relax

Relaxation techniques such as yoga, tai chi, or deep breathing can help introverts unwind and reduce stress. This can include activities such as reading a book, watching a movie, or listening to music

Seeking support from friends or a therapist can also be helpful. Talking to someone about how you're feeling can be a great way to relieve stress and get help. Using these strategies can prevent introvert burnout and take better care of yourself.


Introversion can be both a blessing and a curse, but introverts should not let it limit them. They can succeed with the right strategies while staying true to their personalities.

Introverts can thrive in any environment by taking time to recharge, organizing their schedule, and seeking support when needed.


In What Ways Can Introverts Recover From Introvert Burnout?

By establishing limits and scheduling self-care activities that meet their requirements, introverts can overcome burnout. Limiting social interactions, planning frequent alone time, partaking in introverted pursuits like reading or writing, and finding ways to refuel their energy, like by spending time in nature, are a few examples of how to do this. In order to recover from burnout, it can also be helpful to seek professional assistance or counseling.

How Can An Introvert Thrive In A Extrovert's World?

By acknowledging and accepting their introverted character, establishing boundaries, and finding ways to replenish their energy, introverts can succeed in an outgoing environment. This might entail limiting social encounters, planning frequent alone time, and partaking in activities for introverts that suit their requirements and interests. Introverts can also develop excellent communication skills for expressing their needs to others and develop authentic self-advocacy.


  1. forbes: So Begins A Quiet Revolution Of The 50 Percent
  2. University of Northern Iowa: Introversion
  3. Burnout Research: Emergence and Scientific Investigation of a Contested Diagnosis
  4. Research Gate: Solitude, and Subjective Well-Being

Tips On How To Get Over Someone You Never Dated

Understanding how to get over someone you never dated can be a complex process, especially when there wasn't an actual relationship. It's one thing to end a formal romance, but quite another to move past feelings for someone you never actually dated. Perhaps you saw potential in them, but for reasons like lack of mutual interest or readiness for a relationship, it didn't work out. While challenging, overcoming these unrequited feelings is indeed possible.

Research conducted with participants from two universities reveals that both infatuation and attachment feelings can wane over time. You can manage your romantic emotions using various emotion regulation strategies, including situation selection, expression suppression, distraction, and cognitive reappraisal.[1]

If these strategies seem abstract, don't worry. We've compiled practical tips to help you deal with your feelings. These tips aim to guide you through the process of getting over someone you never had the chance to date.

person actively engaging in painting, in a post about how to get over someone you never dated

Don't Wallow In Your Sorrows

It’s easy to want to curl up in a ball and cry your eyes out when you’re feeling rejected and alone. But wallowing in your misery isn’t going to do you any good. It’ll only make you feel worse.

Wallowing will only make you feel worse in the long run. Instead of dwelling on your negative emotions, try to focus on the positive.

Think about how much time you wasted on that person. You may think as if you wasted your time on someone who never gave you a chance, but it’s essential to realize that you didn’t. You may feel sad now, but you were living your life and doing what made you happy. And even though things didn’t work out the way you wanted them to, you gained valuable experience and lessons that you can carry with you into your next relationship.

An individual practicing self-love and affirmation in a post about how to get over someone you never dated

Don’t Take It Personally

Just because someone doesn’t want to date you doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. There can be thousands of reasons why someone might not be interested in dating you, and none of them have anything to do with you as a person. It’s not you; it’s them.

What makes you special is that you’re you. And there’s someone out there who will appreciate everything about you, even the things that you think are flaws.

Remember that you don’t need someone else to be happy.

a person calmly releasing a butterfly in a post about how to get over someone you never dated

Don’t Try To Force It

If your crush doesn’t want to be with you, there’s nothing you can do to change their mind. No matter how much you want it, you can’t make someone love you. If they don’t feel the same way about you, then it’s time to move on.

Don’t force your crush to like you back by doing things you think they’ll like. If they don’t share your interests, then it’s not meant to be.

Tablet with social media profiles in a post about how to get over someone you never dated

Stop Checking On Them

Checking on them on social media and other places will only worsen things. If you keep tabs on them, you will only torture yourself. Finding out what they do and plan to do will only give you false hope. You have to stop obsessing, let them go, and move on.

You should try to avoid them, even if it is just for a little while. If you can, avoid any places where you might run into them so you don’t have to check on them.

Two people in a supportive conversation in a post about how to get over someone you never dated

Talk To Someone About It

If you’re struggling to get over someone, talking to someone about it can be really helpful. According to a study, talking to your best friend or family can help you vent your feelings and start moving on. If you’re struggling to talk to someone about it, you can always seek out professional help.

While it’s painful when you don’t get over your crush, it’s important to remember that you will eventually move on. You just have to give yourself time.[2]

2 woman walking in a park in a post about how to get over someone you never dated

Avoid Places Or Activities That Remind You Of The Person

If certain places or activities remind you of the person you’re trying to get over, try to avoid them. It’ll be tough at first, but it’ll help you move on in the long run.

Disappointments are never easy, but they’re a necessary part of life. Sometimes, in order to move on, you need to take some time away from the things that remind you of your crush. If there’s a particular place that always brings back memories, try to avoid it for a while. The same goes for any activities that you used to do together.

Someone deeply engaged gardening in a post about how to get over someone you never dated

Get Your Passions And Hobbies Out In The Open

This is the time to focus on what you want and what makes you happy. Get out there, do the things you love, and stay busy. Distract yourself by doing different kinds of things. Doing things that make you happy will help you forget about the person you’re trying to get over.

Tip: Collecting Monster Fantasy Creature Mini Action Figure Playset and outdoor fishing are some cool hobbies you can try if you don’t have any hobbies. And if you’re planning on fishing, try our ZACX Fishing Pliers.

Focusing on your passions and hobbies will also help you find the best version of yourself and realize your worth. Stop thinking about anything or anyone else and spend time on things that can enjoy life.

woman crying in a post about how to get over someone you never dated

Don’t Be Afraid To Cry

Crying is a natural way to release any sadness or pain you may be feeling. Don’t be afraid to let all your emotions out. Once you’ve had a good cry, you may feel better and be able to move on.

According to psychology, repressive coping (keeping difficult feelings inside) is bad for our health. Studies show that repressive coping can lead to a less resilient immune system, cardiovascular disease, hypertension, stress, anxiety, and depression.

If you cope with your feelings and don’t cry, you may already have one or more of the above-mentioned health problems. For example, you may already suffer from a mental disorder like High Functioning Anxiety. And if you’re unsure about the symptoms, read “High Functioning Anxiety: What is it?”.

Crying can release stress and emotional pain and thus can help with your overall health.

Mental health is just as important as physical health. So, don’t be afraid to cry when you are heartbroken.

woman journaling in a post about how to get over someone you never dated

Write About Your Feelings

Writing about your feelings can be a therapeutic way to deal with them. Get a journal and write about your thoughts and emotions. Writing can help you make sense of your feelings and start to move on.

If you don’t feel comfortable writing about your emotions, consider creating poems, novels, or short stories. What fits for one guy may not work for another, but being creative can help you express your emotions and start to move on.

If you’re not a writer, you can try something creative that can help you express your feelings and start to move on. If you’re not a writer, you can also try painting, drawing, or doing something that can express your feelings.

A relaxing bath in a post about how to get over someone you never dated

Do Something To Make Yourself Feel Good

Do something that makes you feel good about yourself. Get a new haircut, buy yourself a new outfit, or treat yourself to a day of pampering. Spending time on things that make you feel good about yourself will help you move on from your unrequited love.

sunrise in a post about how to get over someone you never dated

Focus On The Future

Rather than concentrating on the past, think about the future. Assess all you wish to do and achieve. Making future goals will assist you in forgetting about the person you’re attempting to forget.

Focusing on your future is extremely important. Ask for support from your co-worker, friends, or family to ensure you are not alone during this difficult time. Do everything you can to help you with moving forward so that you can focus on a bright and happy future.

An individual standing tall, in front of a mirror in a post about how to get over someone you never dated

Rebuild Your Confidence

It can be challenging to get over someone you never dated. One-sided love can leave you feeling hollow and broken, as though you’ll never be able to put the pieces of yourself back together again. It’s essential to remember that you are not lost. The person you once were is still inside of you, just waiting to be rediscovered. With time and effort, it is possible to get over your self-loathing and start living again.

Qualified mental health professional help can be an invaluable tool in this process, providing guidance and support during a time when you need self-esteem. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you’re struggling to move on from one-sided love. It takes courage to seek informed professional advice, but it is often the first step on the road to recovery.

a casual coffee date in a post about how to get over someone you never dated

Start Dating Other People

This may sound obvious, but it needs mentioning: if you want to get over someone you’ve never dated, you need to start dating other people. Putting yourself out there and making room for new relationships is the best way to move on with your life and get your mind off of your unrequited love.

Even though you expect someone else, a healthy relationship can help you with your painful, unrequited feelings that burn you inside. So, start dating someone. You can ask for help from a dating expert, or an online dating site to find that other person. You may also get ideas from dating books, The Top Dating Handbooks.

There’s no need to rush into dating, but it’s important to start putting yourself out there. If you’re not ready to start dating, try meeting new people in other ways, such as taking classes or joining a club.


These tips will hopefully help you how to get over someone you never dated and enable you to move on with your life. Remember, taking things at your own pace and not forcing yourself to feel better before you’re ready is important. Allow yourself time to heal; you will get through this tough phase. The best medicine for any broken heart is time, so be patient and give yourself a chance to heal.

Questions and Answers

How Do You Unlove Someone You've Never Dated?

The process of unloving someone you've never dated is similar to getting over any other kind of love. You must give yourself time to grieve, focus on the future, and rebuild your confidence. Additionally, professional help can be an invaluable tool in this process. If you're struggling to get over someone you never dated, don't be afraid to seek out help. It takes courage to ask for assistance, but it is often the first step on the road to recovery.

Can You Be Heartbroken Over Someone You Never Dated?

Strange as it may sound, you can be heartbroken over someone you never dated. You can experience similar feelings: grief, sadness, frustration, rejection, disappointment, and fear. This is because when you have strong feelings for someone who doesn't feel the same way (or who is unavailable for whatever reason), it can be really tough.


  1. PLOS: Regulation of Romantic Love Feelings
  2. Research Gate: Emotion Elicits the Social Sharing of Emotion
  3. Pubmed: The costs of repression
  4. link.springer: Writing Your Way Through Feelings

How to Help Someone With Body Image Issues

Learning how to help someone with body image issues is vital in today's world, where people often openly criticize others' looks, size, weight, color, or height. While some embrace their body confidently, others find it challenging to even glance in the mirror.

Body image is your perception of your physical self, including thoughts about your looks, height, shape, and weight, which can be either positive or negative. Many people currently harbor negative views about their appearance. As you read this, you might think of a friend who struggles with this. I recall Claire, who, despite being stunningly beautiful, tall, and intelligent, never saw herself in that light.

She constantly critiqued her appearance, whether it was lamenting over her skinny legs, feeling too fat or thin, or worrying about her stomach size. She depended heavily on compliments and felt devastated by any criticism. Tragically, Claire took her own life, a profound loss.

There are many more like Claire in our lives, needing our support and understanding. But how do we start? Before delving into supporting those with negative body image, let's first explore its potential causes.

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Effect of Body Image on Health

A person's perception of their body can regularly shift over time. Self-esteem and healthy lifestyle choices are also strongly correlated with positive body image. People are likely to experience great self-esteem and excellent mental health sentiments when they think positively about their bodies.

Additionally, those with a favorable body image frequently approach eating and exercise in a balanced manner. The building blocks for excellent physical and mental health as children and adolescents develop into adults can be laid by having a favorable body image during adolescence.

On the other hand, those with body image issues may experience long-term mental and physical health effects.

How to Help a Friend Struggling With Body Image Issues

It could be you or someone you know who has a negative body image. Whatever the case, here are a few tips that may help:

Avoid Body Shaming

You may not know who is struggling with body image issues, so you need to be kind with your words.

Avoid negative comments about your friend's appearance, weight, or size. Don't use words like 'fat,' 'ugly,' or 'skinny' on people. These are very provocative words.

The saying goes, "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all."

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Teach Your Friend Self Acceptance

You must teach your friend to love and accept themselves just like you. Understandably, it hurts when people around you make fun of you, but what's important is you love yourself.

It's your body and yours alone, so you shouldn't let what people say affect your feelings.

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Encourage Your Friend to Exercise Regularly

As much as you're encouraging your friend to accept themselves to have a positive body image, this shouldn't prevent them from trying to lose weight or keep fit.

They shouldn't hit the gym because people call them 'fat.' Instead, they should do it cause they want to.

Apart from keeping fit, exercise helps them think clearly. Exercise should be seen as a lifestyle, not a stressful activity.

group of friends preparing and enjoying a variety of healthy meals together in a post about how to help someone with body image issues

Encourage Them to Eat Healthy Foods

Your friend should avoid junk food and eat more vegetables, seafood, and fruits. The fact is that junk food seems tastier and more inviting, but thanks to several YouTube cooking videos, there are over a hundred ways you could make tastier healthy foods.

Feed Their Mind With Positive Thoughts

Don't allow them to dwell on rude comments. Instead, encourage them to focus on the positive ones. Also, remind them of how beautiful they are, show them love and support them in their struggle.

a person having a conversation with a therapist in a post about how to help someone with body image issues

Encourage Them to Talk to Someone

If you notice your friend battling low self-esteem or an eating disorder, encourage them to talk to someone. It could be you, a family member, or their partner. Whoever they feel comfortable sharing their feelings with.

Also, speak up if you don't like how your friends make fun of your appearance. Don't laugh it away, only to go home and feel bad. [1][2][3]

Seek Professional Help

If all efforts to support your friend's positive body image proved abortive, it's time to see a online psychologist.

a person looking at their phone in a post about how to help someone with body image issues

How to Know If a Friend Has a Negative Body Image

You may notice the following in someone with a negative body image:

The Effect of Social Media and the "Fitness'' Industry on Body Image Issues

Social media's growth must be considered when discussing factors contributing to negative body image, as explained by Illinois State University. There are many online groups, websites, and businesses for almost any subject, and " fitness" and weight loss are no exception. These sites are constantly accessible, bringing the occasionally upsetting media into our everyday lives.

Because teens and young adults are continually online in the media, these images may hurt how they see themselves.

A whole business has developed online to encourage poor body image before capitalizing on it. Making people self-conscious about their bodies is crucial to the "wellness" and "fitness" industries. Then, they might offer "solutions" that entice clients to return for more.

Although eating healthily and exercising are admirable goals, these websites and clubs frequently encourage disordered eating and often give people a method to mask their disordered eating.


People with a positive body perception will be self-assured in their appearance and physical abilities.

However, a person may develop a poor self-image due to social media messages, prior events, and life changes, which makes them dissatisfied with their appearance. This may occasionally result in mental health issues like eating disorders and depression.

Seeing a psychologist may be helpful if one's body-related concerns are distressing. They can assist someone in investigating the causes of these worries and figuring out how to deal with them.


How Can I Stop Thinking Negatively About My Body?

Instead of attempting to be flawless, learn to accept who you are. Put an end to evaluating your looks or body image. Focus on your qualities and strengths instead of your weight because there is much more to you than your weight. In addition, try to focus on being thankful for what you have.

Why Do I Feel Insecure About My Looks?

If you are fixated on your appearance, focusing on what you think are flaws, you may be experiencing body dysmorphic disorder.


  1. St Andrew's Healthcare: How can I help someone with body image issues?
  2. Karen Eddington: How To Help Someone With Body Image Issues
  3. Eating Enlightenment: How to Help Someone With Body Image Issues
  4. appliedsportpsych: Signs of Body Image Disturbance
  5. Natalie Trusdale: 6 Signs of a Negative Body Image
  6. psychcentral: How Does Social Media Affect Body Image?

How to Tell Someone You Care for Them Deeply

People yearn for love and care, making these emotions invaluable. If you're filled with love but struggle to show it, learning how to tell someone you care for them deeply is crucial. Expressing your love and concern is vital, not just feeling it.

Your display of love, care, and admiration enhances others' lives and strengthens your bonds. Remember, giving love is as essential for happiness as receiving it. Imagine the joy of being shown and told you're valued. This should be the experience of your loved one too. By expressing your care and affection, you encourage them to reciprocate. In this article, we'll explore various ways to show your care using different love languages, helping you express how deeply you care.

Couple being affectionate in a post about How to Tell Someone You Care for Them Deeply

The undeniable truth about showing care

There are many ways of expressing love, and most people have one or two ways that they most commonly demonstrate affection

A popular American author, Gary Chapman, once published a book titled The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. In this book, he explained that there are five basic love languages: Acts of service, physical touch, quality time, receiving gifts, and words of affirmation.

One of the key ways you can express your feelings for someone you love is by understanding their love language and practicing it. For instance, if your partner values quality time, then spending time with them will mean the world to them.

Steps to show someone you care through acts of service

Showing someone you care through acts of service can be a meaningful and heartfelt way to express your affection and support. Here are some steps to consider:

Listen actively

- Face the speaker and maintain eye contact.
- Nod occasionally, smile, and use other facial expressions.
- Avoid interrupting
- Instead of thinking about what to say next, concentrate on understanding the speaker’s message.
- Paraphrase or summarize what they’ve said to ensure you’ve understood it correctly.
- If you're unsure about something, ask questions to deepen your understanding.
- Try to understand their perspective and feelings.
- Avoid judging or giving unwanted advice

Do household chores

- Start by making a list of all the chores that need to be done around the house.
- Prioritize them based on necessity
- If you're doing chores for someone else, understand their preferences
- Tackling one chore at a time can be more efficient and less overwhelming

Cook a meal

- Understand the person's likes, dislikes, and any dietary restrictions or allergies they may have
- Choose dishes that you know they love or have been wanting to try
- Use fresh, high-quality ingredients
- Set the table nicely, maybe add some candles, flowers, or soft music in the background
- Consider their comfort and preferences in serving
- Taking care of the cleanup is as much a part of the act of service as cooking the meal

Run errands

- Communicate with the person to understand what errands they need help with
- Ask about specific preferences or requirements for each errand
- Organize the errands in a logical order to save time and energy
- If you have questions or need clarification while you're out, don't hesitate to call or message them

Fix things

- Start by asking the person if there are any broken items or areas in their home that need attention
- Before committing to a repair, honestly assess whether it's within your skill set
- Once you've identified a repair task you can handle, gather all the tools and materials you'll need
- If you're not entirely sure how to fix something, do some research
- Plan and set aside enough time to complete the repair without rushing
- Keep the person informed about what you're doing
- Once the repair is completed, test it
- After a day or two, follow up to ensure that the repair is holding up and that they’re satisfied with the work

Remember important dates

- Start by finding out the dates that are important to them
- Once you have these dates, add them to a calendar system you regularly check
- For digital calendars, set automatic reminders a few days to a week before the date
- For annual events like birthdays and anniversaries, set the reminders to recur yearly
- Plan in advance
- When the day arrives, make sure to reach out
- If you're using a digital system, make sure it's backed up or synced across your devices

Transportation help

- Begin by asking about their specific transportation needs
- Assess your schedule to determine when you can realistically offer rides
- If they need regular rides (like to weekly appointments), consider setting a routine schedule
- Keep communication lines open regarding pick-up and drop-off times and locations
- Punctuality is crucial
- Keep your vehicle clean and well-maintained
- Be accommodating and patient
- Keep your phone charged and have emergency contacts and basic first aid supplies in your vehicle, just in case
- After dropping them off, especially if it's a significant event or appointment, a message to check in on how it went can show that you care

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How to show someone you care through physical touch

If physical touch is your preferred love language, it means you value it beyond all other forms of love expression. Even though sex can be a significant component of a romantic relationship, physical touch is not solely about sex.

A hug, shoulder squeeze, handhold, back pat, or even a handshake can show affection that means just as much to your spouse.

Here are some ways to express true love through physical touch.

By kissing

You might believe that kissing must result in sex, but this is untrue. One of the simplest and most powerful methods to express physical affection to your lover is by kissing. You may kiss their hand, lips, neck, cheek, forehead, and hands.

Kissing is used as a gesture of respect, saying hello, or affection in a wide variety of civilizations throughout history. It is practiced in both romantic and non-romantic relationships and should be given priority.

By holding hands

In public or private, holding hands with your lover is a simple gesture that can instantly release mood-enhancing endorphins. Even parents frequently hold their child's hand for both protective and emotional reasons.

Holding hands with loved ones, make them feel special and loved. It reassures them that they matter to you.

By fondling

A touch might be sexual or nonsexual and still be intimate. An intimate sign of affection can be tracing your fingers across your partner's back or neck.

You can demonstrate your support for your partner, your physical attraction to them, and/or your love for them by caressing their hair, stroking the nape of their neck, or even caressing their bare leg.

By cuddling

Cuddling is also a way you can spend quality time with someone you love. It builds intimacy between you and your partner, and also makes them feel connected to you. It is not a time for you to bring up issues from the past, but to ponder on the things you love about the relationship.

While cuddling, say nice things to that special person, and make them feel loved and appreciated. Cuddling should not always lead to sex, it should be one of those special moments where you get to understand your partner on a deeper level.

Couple embracing in a post about How to Tell Someone You Care for Them Deeply

How to express love by spending quality time

The best approach to make sure your relationship remains healthy is to spend quality time with your partner.

This entails doing more than just watching TV together or occasionally going out to eat. So, what is meant by quality time? It entails uninterrupted time spent with your partner. It's an opportunity for you to get together and discuss. This will promote a deeper level of emotional connection and trust.

Below are useful tips that will help you spend time with that special person.

Identify the warning signs

You must develop the ability to spot the telltale indicators that your relationship needs more one-on-one time if you want it to thrive. Our Ultiblog article Relationship Red Flags You Should Know may help you. Some warning signs include:
- You use your phones nonstop.
- You place more importance on your interests or friendships than your relationship.
- You don't attend significant events together.
- You argue more frequently or have poor connections.
- You don't schedule events or go on dates.
- You're not content.

Make date nights a habit

Couples who spend quality time together feel happier and less stressed than those who do not. Incorporating a date night into your weekly schedule is a nice way of maintaining a healthy relationship.

You'll be surprised how a candlelit dinner could make your loved one feel amazing. Don't do this only on special occasions, like birthdays or anniversaries, be romantic! This does not mean you should neglect the important dates.

Work out together

By exercising with your partner, you get to spend time with them. Moreover, research has shown that couples who work out together, tend to tie their fitness goals faster than those who exercise alone.

Create gadget-free moments

Due to our increasing dependence on technology, many of us no longer pay attention to the people around us. Members of a family, friends, or even romantic partners now " phub" each other., and this has led to broken relationships. When you're around loved ones, it is important that you keep the gadgets away. 

Attempt new things together

Have you ever wished you could pick up a musical instrument or another language? How about ballroom dancing or skydiving? Why not incorporate your partner in these activities rather than seeing them as your personal interests and hobbies?

Trying new things together strengthens relationships because it enables partners to lean on one another for both physical and emotional support.

Prepare meals together

Romantic love doesn't always involve flowers and chocolates., it could be a simple gesture like cooking with your spouse.

You don't always need actual words to profess your unconditional love for someone you care for deeply, let your actions do the work; one of the easiest ways to do this is by cooking together. It's a great way to bond with your partner. You get to tease each other and discuss the events of the day while cooking. Cool right?

Couple kissing in a post about How to Tell Someone You Care for Them Deeply

How to tell someone you love them through gifts

First of all, how do you know if your partner's love language is receiving gifts?

Such people never set a gift aside until it is opened and its contents are made clear because they simply can't wait to get their hands on them. In addition, these individuals frequently recall who gave them what, and they treat each gift as though it were their most prized asset. They also enjoy giving gifts to others as well.

Here are things you ought to know when giving gifts to someone you love.

Your intention matters

Don't give a gift because you're sorry for hurting the person or because you want a favor in return. Rather from the habit of giving gifts because you care and you never want them to forget that.

The gift must not be so expensive

The most amazing gifts are not the most expensive ones but thoughtful gifts. For instance, gifting your loved one a pup when they are allergic to fur Is quite silly, right?

So when getting gifts, go for nice things that will genuinely put a smile on the face of that special person. The most amazing gifts are not the most expensive ones but thoughtful gifts. For instance, gifting your loved one a pup when they are allergic to fur Is quite silly, right?

Surprises are a big deal to gift lovers

Most people expect gifts on specific days like birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc, and though it means a lot to them, you can't compare this to how they feel when surprised.

A perfect way to impress a gift love is to surprise them. It demonstrates that they are always on your mind and that you're willing to go out of your way to make them happy.

Timing is important

Even though your partner enjoys receiving gifts, you should be cautious of the time you offer these gifts. For instance, If they are going through a tough time at work, you should offer support and not a gift. That's what they need at that time.

Or perhaps you've been dating someone you care about for a few weeks, and getting them something pricey (like a diamond bracelet) may seem like you're rushing the relationship. They may not be ready for that level of commitment.

So, be wise in giving gifts.

How to tell someone you care through words of affirmation

Any communication that encourages, affirms, praises, sympathizes, comments, or uplifts is considered to be speaking words of affirmation.

Words of affirmation, in their simplest form, aid in making your spouse feel seen. It gives them a sense of accomplishment and, more significantly, makes them feel acknowledged in the quiet, unassuming moments of daily life. These words could be written (love letters, love notes), typed( sweet text messages), or spoken.

Your words have an impact, so it matters a great deal what you say to someone you care about. It is advisable to carefully consider both your message and your delivery.

It happens frequently that we have warm and generous thoughts for our lover but never expresses them verbally. Then open the mouth and let the words flow. Never hold a kind notion in your mind. Practice speaking the lovely words you think of instead.

You can develop a habit by repeatedly telling yourself to say the words out loud and then doing so. Your relationship will be improved if you speak positively about your mate. The following tips will help you convey your message of love to your partner using words.

Use specific words

When complimenting someone, be specific. Substitute more genuine language for overused ones.

Don't use the same words you can say to any other man or lady out there. Through the uniqueness of your words, make your partner feel particularly seen. Even though it requires more work, the payoff is enormous.

Listen to your partner

Pay close attention to what your partner is saying.

Knowing exactly what they are dealing with and what they need is necessary to properly affirm someone with your words. If you actively listen and strive to comprehend your partner's ideas and feelings, your words won't be meaningless.

Be intentional

Set a goal to compliment your spouse every day in a very particular and special way. Spend some time thinking about what it is about your partner that you truly like or find fascinating, and then tell them.

Make it a point to do this daily until it becomes second nature. You'll find yourself reflecting on your spouse's virtues regularly, and your partner will experience an increase in feelings of love.

Examples of words of affirmation you can say to your significant other

- I love the way your smile, it makes you look so beautiful.
- I have so much faith in you babe, you'll pull through this.
- While I was grocery shopping, I was thinking about how lucky I am to have you In my life.
- You mean the world to me and I never want to lose you.
- I admire the way you handled that situation.
- You're so smart, you always come up with wonderful ideas.
- I love how diligent you are with work, you'll go places.
- I am so proud of you.
- I get butterflies anytime you look at me like that.
- You're awesome! I hope you know that.
- I love you
- There's no one is rather be with
- You're such a good cook!

Bottom line

You will most likely apply all of the love languages during the honeymoon period of your relationship but with time, you get comfortable using your dominant love language. If there is a mismatch between you and your partner, the relationship may begin to feel unfulfilling, and one partner may feel like the other doesn't care anymore.

That does not imply that you give up and end it. Instead, take some time to remind each other of your respective love languages. Even if words of affirmation aren't your main form of expression of love, verbal communication is essential for letting your loved ones know what you need.

Be prepared to change your actions as necessary to make your partner feel special as well. Every single person is deserving of love and respect. When you experience negative emotions more frequently than positive ones, you may be in an unhealthy relationship.

On the other hand, pleasant, healthy relationships give you a sense of self-assurance and confidence. But strong relationships take time and work to maintain. Learn your partner's preferred method of expressing their love and care, and use that method frequently.

Consider it the ultimate rule of romance: treat people the way you want to be treated.

Still in doubt about the "love language theory"?

For those of you who may not really buy the whole love language theory, think of it this way: If you grew up in a home where giving gifts or spending time with family is an expression of love, then most likely, these acts will be what you'll expect from your partner. This is because this is what you believe love looks like.

On the other hand, if you always saw your parents fight, you may have the wrong notion that love should hurt.

So, you see, love languages are not just made-up perceptions; our parents, upbringing, and even environment play a key role in how we give and receive love. Check the sources on love language we dropped in this composition for better understanding.


How Do You Know If Someone Cares About You?

You know someone cares about you through their words and actions. The way they speak to you, how intentional they are about things that concern you, how supportive they are, etc.

Why Is It Important To Show Someone You Care?

If you care for someone and you don't show how you feel about them, they won't know it. They may even withdraw from you for that reason.


  1. Oregon Counseling in Five Ways to Express Love: Five Ways to Express Love
  2. The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
  3. School of Life: Meaning of Life
  4. MindBodyGreen: What “Acts Of Service” Means As A Love Language + 101 Examples
  5. Verywell Mind: What Is the Physical Touch Love Language?
  6. Verywell Mind: What Is the Physical Touch Love Language?
  7. BBC: The Reasons Humans Started Kissing
  8. Relish:10 Surprising Benefits of Holding Hands with a Loved One.
  9. Susan O’Grady: Better Sex through Non-Sexual Touching
  10. Berry Amour Villas: How to cuddle to make your partner feel truly loved
  11. HelpGuide: Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship
  12. Lifehack: 14 Tips on How to Spend More Quality Time With Your Partner
  13. DEBORAH BYRNE PSYCHOLOGY SERVICES: The Importance Of Date Nights To Your Relationship
  14. NCBI: Partner Influence in Diet and Exercise Behaviors: Testing Behavior Modeling, Social Control, and Normative Body Size
  15. Silver Maples: What Are the Effects of Too Much Screen Time?
  16. MindBodyGreen: What It Really Means To Have Gifts As Your Love Language
  17. WikiHow: How to Present a Romantic Gif
  18. MindBodyGreen: What It Means To Have Words Of Affirmation As A Love Language
  19. Heart Matters: 10 tips for active listening

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How To Talk To Someone Who Is Bipolar

If you're wondering how to talk to someone who is bipolar and offer support, it's crucial to approach the conversation with empathy and understanding. Dealing with bipolar disorder can be challenging, and knowing how to talk to someone who is bipolar is key to providing effective support.

In this blog post, we'll explore effective communication strategies and share resources to help you navigate these conversations.

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Tips for talking to bipolar individuals

Extreme changes in mood and behavior are prevalent in people with bipolar disorder. These mood swings may happen suddenly and may hurt the person’s own life.

You might have to endure irrational behavior, absurd demands, violent outbursts, and careless choices while experiencing a manic episode. And after the manic episode has ended, it frequently falls on you to deal with the fallout. You might need to intervene for a loved one or a friend who shows bipolar symptoms.

The good news is that with the right care, medicine, and support, the majority of people with this mental health disorder can stabilize their moods. Your loved one’s treatment and recovery can benefit much from your tolerance, love, and understanding. Sometimes, all someone needs to change their perspective and motivation is someone to talk to.[1][2][3]

Here are some tips on how to interact or talk to someone with bipolar disorder:

a person offering a comforting hand to another in a post about how to talk to someone who is bipolar

Don’t argue with them

The amygdala, a fear area in our brains, is in charge of triggering our fight-or-flight responses. When this happens, we fail to communicate our precise intentions and turn irrational and unreasonable.

The amygdala may be overactive or extremely quickly triggered in people with bipolar disorder. This occurrence is known as amygdala hijack. Don’t argue or discuss with your bipolar partner while they are experiencing terror. wait till the person with bipolar disorder is calm. Arguing with someone with a bipolar disorder experience might get things heated up and violence might come into the picture.[4][5]

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When talking to someone with bipolar disorder, be comforting. Always remind the patient that he or she is fine, it’s just a phase. Don’t remind someone with bipolar disorder of their mental health condition but always remind them of how unique and wonderful they are.

A man screaming abusive words in a post about how to talk to someone who is bipolar

Be compassionate

When bipolar disorder symptoms worsen, the effect can resemble an ugly outburst by a two-year-old.

Try to keep your judgment to yourself as much as you can. If you come downstairs and discover your bipolar friend or relative having a screaming tantrum, treat them as much as you would with a young child whose scoop of ice cream just dropped off the cone.
The person is responding to the world as they perceive it.

Take stock and consider ideal backgrounds. Put a lot of compassion into it and try to be understanding.[6]

Never use abusive words

When talking to someone with bipolar disorder, try not to use abusive words. In as much as the person’s mood episode can be quite annoying, set your boundaries.

It takes a lot of discipline to deal with someone that has a bipolar disorder because the person’s mood changes and mood episodes can be very tiring and neck wracking but try and understand the patient’s situation and choose your words carefully. You can also find the best PTSD books in the Ultiblog Best Products category Buy The Best Ptsd Workbooks. [7]

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Focus on the good moments

A conversation that reminisces the fun-filled moments is always healthy for someone with bipolar disorder.

Focus on the good times you had with the person, not the hurdles and anger. Remind them of your fun memories even when life is questionable.[8]

in a post about how to talk to someone who is bipolar

How can you help someone with bipolar disorder

Helping someone with bipolar disorder, especially when going through a manic or depressive episode is a caring but challenging task to do.

Having a friend or family member with bipolar disorder can be difficult, as you are aware. Both the person with the disease and the people in their lives may struggle with unpredictable behaviors and intense mood swings.

It’s critical for those who suffer from bipolar disorder to appreciate coping mechanisms.

The individuals in their lives, such as friends or family members, must understand how to help them when they are experiencing a manic or depressed episode. [9][10]Here are some tips for supporting a loved one who is suffering from bipolar disorder:

Someone reading a book in a post about how to talk to someone who is bipolar

Educate yourself

You will be more equipped to assist if you are more knowledgeable about bipolar disorder. For example, being aware of the signs of manic and depressed periods will help you respond effectively when your mood suddenly changes. You can educate yourself by joining a bipolar support alliance where you’ll be taught about bipolar disorder.[11][12]


To be helpful, you don’t necessarily have to offer solutions or counsel. One of the nicest things you can do for someone with bipolar disorder is simply to listen to them, especially when they want to talk to you about their struggles.

By expressing your acceptance and understanding, you can greatly aid the person in feeling more at ease about their situation. You may improve your listening skills by:
– Completely paying attention to what your bipolar friend or loved one is saying
– Be calm during conversations
– Ask friendly questions about what he or she has been saying.
– Avoiding conflicts
– Staying away from any subjects that seem to annoy or disappoint them[13][14]

A hero ripping off their casual clothes in a post about how to talk to someone who is bipolar

Be their hero

People with this mental illness occasionally experience the feeling that everyone is out to get them. The person may feel more stable if you reassure them that you support them. Even if you disagree with the person’s attitudes and actions, reassuring them that you have their support no matter what can be incredibly helpful.

You can find the best communication books in the Ulti Best Products category The Top Communication Books.

Affirming their abilities and positive traits can assist those who suffer from bipolar disorder, who frequently feel hopeless or unworthy. This can make it easier for them to bounce back from depressive episodes.[15]

a person balancing stones in a post about how to talk to someone who is bipolar

Know your limits

A bipolar individual can benefit greatly from your assistance. But, you must know when to back off and let a medical or mental health expert take over. Although people with bipolar disorder can make consciously informed choices, you must recognize when their emotions and actions are beyond their control.

Also, if the person has a setback while you’re attempting to help, don’t take it personally. Keep in mind that you are both trying your best.[16]

 two people drawing a plan in a post about how to talk to someone who is bipolar

Draw a plan

Unpredictability is a risk seen in bipolar disorder. If you need to deploy an emergency plan during severe mood episodes, it’s crucial to have one in place. This plan should outline what to do if the person experiences suicidal thoughts while experiencing a depressive episode or if they lose control while experiencing a manic episode.

various treatment methods in a post about how to talk to someone who is bipolar

You should also make daily preparations to help the person get through the intervals between extreme episodes. These plans may contain coping strategies, such as what to do when one feels a mood swing coming on or how to carry out daily tasks when one is feeling low on energy. Make these arrangements when the person is composed and stable in their thoughts. For easy access by both of you, it’s preferable to put them in writing.[17][18]

Bipolar disorder treatment

A psychiatrist experienced in treating bipolar disorder and associated illnesses is the ideal professional to oversee the treatment. A psychologist, social worker, and psychiatric nurse could be on your therapy team.

As a lifelong condition, symptom management is the focus of treatment.[19]

The treatment for bipolar disorder may include:


One with bipolar disorder will often need medication to balance his or her mood right away. Medications include antidepressants, antipsychotics, anti-anxiety drugs, and mood stabilizers.[20]

Renewed treatments

Even when the patient feels better, bipolar disorder needs to be treated with medication for the rest of their life.
People who neglect maintenance therapy run the danger of experiencing a relapse of their symptoms or of having mild mood swings develop into major depression or mania.[21][22]

Programs for day therapy

A regimen for day treatment may be suggested by the doctor, like online therapy. These programs offer the assistance and guidance the patient require as they manage their symptoms.


If they behave in a risky manner, experience suicidal thoughts, or lose touch with reality, the doctor may advise they should be admitted to the hospital. Whether they’re experiencing a manic or major episode of depression, receiving psychiatric care in a hospital can help them to be safe, calm, and in control of their emotions.

A person with bipolar disorder requires medical treatment and psychological counseling (behavioral therapy) to regulate the symptoms. Education and support groups may also be used as additional therapies.[23]

Understanding bipolar disorders

According to the America Psychiatric Association, bipolar disorders are a group of mental disorders that cause an individual’s mood, energy, and functional ability to fluctuate extremely.

They are one of the most prevalent forms of mental disorders in the United States of America. Every year, bipolar disorder is diagnosed in about 3 million people. This condition’s previous name was “manic depression,” but it was changed to help lessen the stigma attached to the sickness.

Although there are several types of bipolar disorders, mood changes that range from severe depression to mania are the most typical signs and symptoms.[24][25][26]


A depressive episode is one major symptom of someone with bipolar disorder. Someone with bipolar disorder may go through prolonged depressive episodes that make it difficult for them to go about their regular lives. This depression usually involves more than just feeling down. It consists of:
– Low zeal
– Inadequate focus
– Apathy: Lack of interest in formerly important issues.
– Irritability
– A low sense of self
– Alterations in appetite or sleep patterns
– Suicidal or self-harming ideas[27]


Manic episodes or hypomania are a component of the bipolar disorder diagnostic criteria. An episode of mania is characterized by an upsurge in energy or mood. These signs include:
– Unusually positive attitude
– Decreased need for sleep
– Talkativeness
– Frenzied thinking
– Not paying attention
– Impulsive behavior includes expensive decisions, dangerous sexual behavior, reckless driving, etc.
– Enhanced energy levels
– Irritability or unease

Manic patients may occasionally develop psychosis and need medical treatment. Many of these symptoms are present in hypomania, which is less severe or disruptive. Bipolar illness symptoms and severity can change throughout a person’s lifetime. However, bipolar disorder can be successfully treated.[28][29][30]


A person with bipolar disorder can be difficult to help. The person’s moods will fluctuate, making it challenging to respond or cope.

But if you put out the effort, you can significantly impact your friend or loved one’s life. Knowing they can count on you can encourage them to adhere to their treatment plan and maintain a positive outlook.

Knowing that you are assisting a friend or loved one in navigating the ups and downs of living with bipolar disorder can be enjoyable for you as well.


Can Bipolar Disorder Be Cured?

Although there is no known treatment for bipolar disorder, most people with the illness can live normal, fulfilling lives and manage their condition with the help of behavior therapy and an appropriate dosage of mood stabilizers and other bipolar medications.


  1. Mayo Clinic: Bipolar disorder
  2. NHS: Symptoms- Bipolar Disorder
  3. NCBI: The Diagnosis and Treatment of Bipolar Disorder: Decision-Making in Primary Care
  4. Verywell Mind: Amygdala Hijack and the Fight or Flight Response
  5. Bphope: Bipolar Disorder & Anger: Understanding and Getting Control of Irritability
  6. Massachusetts General Hospital: DMDD Versus Bipolar Disorder
  7. Mental Health Foundation: What it’s like to have bipolar, by people who have bipolar
  8. HelpGuide: Helping Someone with Bipolar Disorder
  9. Self-management for bipolar disorder
  10. NCBI: Improving Outcomes in Patients With Bipolar Disorder Through Establishing an Effective Treatment Team.
  12. HelpGuide; Living With Bipolar Disorder
  13. Everyday Health: 7 Things Nobody With Bipolar Disorder Wants to Hear
  14. NIMH : Bipolar Disorder
  15. SAHMSA: Living Well with Bipolar Disorder
  16. Healthline: How to Deal with the Uncertainty of Bipolar Episodes
  17. HelpGuide: Bipolar Disorder Signs and Symptoms
  18. NCBI: Treatment of bipolar disorder
  19. Healthline: Drugs to Treat Bipolar Disorder
  20. NHS: Treatment – Bipolar disorder
  21. NCBI: Risk for Recurrence in Depression
  22. National Alliance on Mental Illness: Different Types of Therapy for Bipolar Disorder
  23. Psycom: Bipolar Definition and DSM-5 Diagnostic Criteria
  24. NCBI: Bipolar Disorder
  25. NIMH: Bipolar Disorder
  26. Verywell Mind: Major Depressive Episodes in Bipolar Disorder
  27. Cleveland Clinic: Mania
  28. NCBI: The Diagnosis and Treatment of Bipolar Disorder: Decision-Making in Primary Care
  29. Cleveland Clinic: Bipolar Disorder

How To Be A Better Girlfriend For Your Partner 

Learning how to be a better girlfriend is crucial, especially when facing the challenge of a partner who emotionally pulls away from you. It's natural to feel rejected and unimportant in such situations, but it's vital to remember that you remain an integral part of your partner's life.

Despite the difficulties, there are effective strategies to improve your role as a girlfriend, even when it feels like they're pushing you away.

couple enjoying a peaceful morning in a post about how to be a better girlfriend

Steps to being a better girlfriend in the mornings

Morning Affection and Comfort

photo depicting a partner preparing a morning routine in a post about how to be a better girlfriend

Morning Routine Enhancements

A couple sharing a meal in a post about how to be a better girlfriend

Breakfast Bonding

Pro Tip

Use "Ultimate Breakfast Cookbook" for diverse breakfast ideas.
 one partner helping the other get ready for work in a post about how to be a better girlfriend

Preparing for Work

Pro Tip

Use a PIQOLA Customized Checklist Board for task management.
a couple saying goodbye at the doorstep in a post about how to be a better girlfriend

Saying Goodbye

A scene of a couple in the kitchen in a post about how to be a better girlfriend

Steps to being a better girlfriend in the evenings

Greet Them Warmly

Prepare dinner

Pro Tip

Use "The Busy Mom Cookbook: 15-Minute Homemade Express Dinners" for quick, flavorful meals.
 a couple on a bed, with one partner talking and the other listening attentively in a post about how to be a better girlfriend

Ask About His Day and Listen

a couple enjoying a quiet evening walk in a post about how to be a better girlfriend

Spend Quality Time Together

Steps to being a better girlfriend during a weekend

Sharing Breakfast

one partner is showing interest in the other's hobby or project in a post about how to be a better girlfriend

Spend Quality Time Together

Showing Interest in Your Partner's Activities


So, there you have it. Ways to be a better girlfriend for your partner. If you're feeling lost or something seems wrong in your relationship, read our article on All You Need To Know About Couples Therapy.

It might help you figure out the issue and how to solve it. We hope these tips will help make your relationship more robust than ever!


What do you think is the key to being a successful long-term couple? 

In any relationship, communication is critical. This is especially true for long-term couples who have seen and been through a lot together. Over time, partners can begin to take each other for granted and may stop communicating as effectively as they once did. It’s essential to keep the lines of communication open in order to maintain a close relationship.

How can a girlfriend become more emotionally supportive of their partner?

There are a few things that people can do in order to become more emotionally supportive of their partner. First, it's important to be understanding and non-judgmental, even when your partner shares something difficult or upsetting. Second, it's helpful to be present and attentive when your partner is talking rather than tuning out or thinking about other things.


  1. times of india; Why Being More Affectionate in the Morning Will Lead to a Better Relationship
  2. thrive global: What To Do When You and Your Partner Have Completely Different Morning Routines
  3. my morning routine: How does your partner fit into your morning routine?
  4. Eating Together Brings You Together
  5. Medium: Saying goodbye to your relationship
  6. Medium: Saying goodbye to your relationship
  9. pop sugar; A Relationship Therapist Says This Is the Biggest Act of "Real Love and Romance"

Tips On How To Be A Better Wife

Understanding how to be a better wife is crucial in the journey from getting married to staying happily married. If you're married, you're likely familiar with the excitement and love you felt while exchanging vows with your partner, eagerly anticipating your life together.

Despite the prevalence of outdated advice on what constitutes the ideal wife, much of it doesn't apply in today's world. However, timeless qualities like empathy, patience, and understanding remain essential for a successful marriage. For a marriage to thrive, both partners must be committed to self-improvement. In this article, we'll provide you with the best tips on how to be a better wife to your husband.

A tender moment between a couple in a post about how to be a better wife

Love Your Husband

This will seem basic, and you may think, "of course I love him; I won't be with him if I didn't." But, the love being talked about here is unconditional.

Loving him even when your feelings are hurt, in times of sadness or anger, when things are not going well for you, that is the time you should love him even more. [1]

A wife comforting or encouraging her husband in a post about how to be a better wife

Be Supportive

A supportive wife makes a happy husband. This is pretty tough because you may feel that some decisions he takes are bizarre or reckless, so supporting him won't be wise.

But think about it this way: has your not supporting him stopped him from taking a particular action? Has it caused friction between the both of you?

Even though you don't agree with his plans or decisions, it is best to show support. Let him understand that you have reservations about his plan, but whatever he decides to do, you'll support him.

If your husband sees you as a supportive wife, he'll feel comfortable sharing his ideas and plans with you, and it'll be much easier for him to listen to your opinion. [2]

A couple enjoying a shared activity in a post about how to be a better wife

Spend Quality Time With Your Spouse

Remember how you wanted to spend the whole day with your partner, just talking and cuddling, while dating? You couldn't get enough of each other, and you couldn't wait to get married to your "best friend." So what changed now that you're married?

With marriage comes responsibilities, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't get together once in a while to do the things you love.

When you spend time with your spouse, you get to know each other better and discuss ways you could love each other better.

It could be a " staycation," a lunch date, taking a stroll, or even a vacation. The point is to create an atmosphere where you can give your husband your undivided attention. [3]

A romantic, intimate setting in a post about how to be a better wife

Never Underestimate Sex

Sex is an essential component of relationships. An anonymous gentleman once said, "Men are sexual beings. If your husband ever tells you that sex is not a big deal, he's lying. By just looking at a woman, we can get aroused; it just takes self-control to overcome such temptations".

Most men love sex. It helps reduce their stress levels and makes them feel loved. If your husband has a high sex drive, you'll have to adjust to meet his needs. Also, feel free to talk to him about it, don't be shy. "Is there something I can do to please you?", "I don't like being touched like this," "Do I meet your sexual needs?" Conversations like this may seem uncomfortable at first, but it's necessary.

Statistics show that men are more productive when having a great sex life. So, let your husband "get some."[4][5][6]

Be warm and affectionate

A wife can express love for her husband in various ways, one of which is through affection. Giving him a kiss or hug is an easy way to show him you care, but you can also probably write him a love note or do something more original.

Affection is vital in keeping a connection close and intimate, regardless of its form. A nice day can be made even better by showing affection, and even the busiest day can feel manageable with a long hug or a tender kiss.

Husbands tend to show their spouses the same love and respect if they receive themselves.

Be organized

A woman is capable of managing the daily operations of the home and ensuring that everyone has access to what they require. You should be able to complete tasks quickly and effectively and move on to the next one.

A good wife is a skilled multitasker. Try to find a means to handle different tasks at once or delegate some if you can't.

Cook for your partner

I'm yet to see a man who doesn't love a good home-cooked meal. No matter how woke you claim to be, you need to understand that cooking for your husband will forever be a big deal to him.

Make healthy meals for your husband. Don't joke with his food. This is one of the easiest acts of service in relationships.

Couple watching a movie in a post about how to be a better wife

Understand and practice his love language

There are five primary love languages-physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, and quality time. Even though every husband loves to experience these five languages, some are more important for most men.

For instance, if your spouse loves acts of service, making his favorite meal will mean much more than taking him to a fancy restaurant. If he loves gifts, buy him some once in a while, it doesn't have to be so expensive.

Say kind words, and remind him why you love him if that makes him light up. And if he loves physical touch, hold his hands, kiss him as much as you can. [7]

Don't prioritize work over family

Having a strong work ethic is essential, but it shouldn't interfere with family time. Personal relationships will start to suffer for those who spend excessive time at work rather than at home. Your children will believe you're more concerned with your profession and financial success than you are with them.

The balance between work and family life is something workaholics must achieve. Keep all work-related tasks at the workplace. Bring no work or other assignments home to finish after work.

A woman listening to her husband in a post about how to be a better wife

Be intentional about each day

Positivity should be your first thought when you awaken each morning. Consider the household's top priorities after being thankful for another day to live. Plan out your day's activities with a specific objective in mind. Savor the little things. Set a goal to compliment each family member or perform a kind act for each person. Whatever your aim for the day—big or small—is, reach it with optimism and a beaming smile.

It's not an easy process to become a better wife, so take it one day at a time.

Old couple laughing together in a post about how to be a better wife

Be romantic

Being romantic is being considerate and caring toward your spouse and making them feel valued at all times. It involves consistently performing little acts of affection, like leaving emotional notes about the house or surprising him with an excellent breakfast in bed.

Even if you've been together for a while, it's important to maintain the romance in your relationship. This could entail organizing frequent date nights or unique weekend excursions.

This can assist you in maintaining a good and solid relationship and serve as a reminder of the initial reasons you fell in love.

A couple talking in a post about how to be a better wife

Be a better mother

You can't be a better wife without being a better mother to your kids. Men love women who make out time for them and their children. Listen to your kids, take them on play dates, make sure they are comfortable, and just be there for them. Figure out a way to be there for your husband and children.

A mother interacting with her child in a post about how to be a better wife

Respect your husband

Always respect your husband no matter how mad you get. Try to express yourself without bruising his ego. Keep in mind that even when anger fades, your hurtful words may leave a scar.

Additionally, it's good to cherish your spouse at home, and even better to do so amid others. This will help boost your husband's self-esteem and foster a healthy relationship. [8]

A wife using a hammer in a post about how to be a better wife

Be resourceful

Being resourceful is a crucial trait of a good wife. A savvy lady knows how to manage her finances, use her imagination when few resources are available, and solve issues. She is constantly willing to help and is not scared of hard work.

If you can't assist your husband or contribute effectively to the family's growth, your marriage may suffer.

A wife apologies for her mistakes in a post about how to be a better wife

Don't be too proud to admit mistakes

Some women find it difficult to admit mistakes, which is wrong. If anything, admitting mistakes shows humility and would encourage your husband to admit his faults as well.

These little things matter a great deal to most men and make for a happy marriage.

Don't be selfish

If you're in the habit of always putting your own interests over your husband, you need to stop. Marriage is about compromise, and some wives forget this. Men are providers by nature and want the best life for their family, most times neglecting their own needs. [9]

A woman making coffee for her and her husband in a post about how to be a better wife

Don't forget the little favours

Helping your spouse out without expecting anything in return is a terrific way to make any household happier. That entails not even needing to hear him thank you for a favor provided.

Keeping count may lead to conflict as family members compete with one another. Similarly, simple tasks like putting out the garbage or taking the dog for a walk can make a significant difference.

A couple gardening together in a post about how to be a better wife

Share hobbies

As much as you can, share hobbies with your partner. You may not enjoy hiking or bowling but do it with him anyways, if that's what he loves to do. It creates a deeper bond.

Moreover, who knows? you may just fall in love with the hobby.

A family taking an photo in a post about how to be a better wife

Accept his family and friends

You can't have an issue with your husband's family or friends and expect him to be happy. Whether or not you like them, these people have been in his life longer than you, so they matter to him. It's even worse if you don't like his mom. We all know how strong the "mother-and-son bond" is. So, just do your best to accept them.[10]

A couple talking in a post about how to be a better wife

Listen to your husband

Men love it when women listen attentively to them. Whether or not you are interested in what he's saying, try to listen. It makes them feel like they are loved. Your actions speak louder than your words, so by listening to your husband, he, in turn, will learn to listen to you.[11]

An old couple laughing together in a post about how to be a better wife

Make your marriage fun

Have as much fun as you can. Marriage is not a prison! Play, laugh, cuddle, tickle, and enjoy your marriage. Your home should be a safe space for you. Forget the problems of life and create memories with the love of your life.

Life is meant to be lived! So, don't spend it being a boring wife.

A man fishing alone in a post about how to be a better wife

Respect his alone time

You may notice that sometimes your spouse wants to be alone, maybe to think certain things over or do concentrate on work. Let your husband have that time.

Don't try to be clingy or take offense. When he's done, he'll come around.

Be expressive

Being a good wife doesn't mean keeping mute. You and your husband are meant to be best friends, so feel free to express yourself when you're angry, hurt, excited, or even uncomfortable.

No husband wants a boring wife, and don't lose yourself in the quest to be the best wife.

Avoid third parties in your marriage

Not every marriage advice is good advice. As much as you can, avoid taking your marital problems outside your home. It doesn't appear awful to take your concerns outdoors or to talk to your friends about your marriage, but the truth is that you can not fully understand a person or know what lies deep within them.

When you bring your marital issues into the open, they may turn into a controversy that could end in disaster. However, if you're experiencing any form of abuse, speak up! Don't die in silence.

You can also read up on How To Be A Better Husband.

A couple playing with their son in a post about how to be a better wife

Benefits of Being A Good Wife

Happy marriage

By being a better wife to your husband, you foster a happy marriage. Also, the possibility of loneliness in a person's life is lessened by a happy marriage. Marriage provides people with a lifetime of friendship, which is quite rare nowadays.

Safer environment for kids

When the partners commit to being better versions of themselves, raising kids is easier. The kids grow up learning how to love and live peacefully. Compared to single parents, married folks offer their children a happier and safer household. [12]

Health benefits

Being a better wife would result in a happy home and this has health benefits.

Couples in a contented, conflict-free marriage experience lower levels of stress, which benefits their blood pressure, lower the risk of heart disease, improves sleep, increases resistance to illness, and overall healthier mental health. [13]


If you have doubts about your ability to be a decent spouse to your partner, getting married may seem overwhelming.

However, apply the tips provided here to foster a successful marriage. They will teach you how to be a better wife to your husband.

Every marriage is unique. Remember that your husband appreciates you just the way you are, so don't try to be like someone else.


What Are The Most Important Qualities For A Successful Marriage?

The most essential components for a prosperous marriage are communication, commitment, and intimacy.

Is It Difficult To Be A Good Wife?

No, it isn't. Still, it requires commitment and daily practice.


  1. Family Studies: When Religious Couples Pray
  2. Carnegie Mellon University: Supportive Relationships Linked to Willingness to Pursue Opportunities
  3. Marriage.Com: 15 Reasons Why Quality Time Is So Important in a Relationship
  4. Verywell Mind: How Important Is Sex in a Relationship?
  5. Psychology Today: 6 Truths About Men and Sex
  6. Oregon State University: Maintaining An Active Sex Life May Lead To Improved Job Satisfaction, Engagement In Work
  7. Woman’s Health: What Exactly Are The Five Love Languages? Experts Weigh In
  8. NHS: Raising Low Self-Esteem
  9. Evolved but Not Fixed: A Life History Account of Gender Roles and Gender Inequality
  10. Motherly: The mother-son bond is tender and unbreakable
  11. Sigh: Men Think Women Who Listen to Them Are Sexier by Time magazine
  12. Forbes: 10 Steps To Effective Listening
  13. Institute for Family Studies: When it Comes to Child Well-Being, Is One Parent the Same as Two?

How To Stop Being Judgemental

'How To Stop Being Judgemental' is a challenge we've all faced, whether it's dealing with someone overly open, constantly politicking, or trying to one-up others. In our daily lives, it's easy to judge others for their choices, but this isn't beneficial. Here are some tips to help!

A poor boy sitting in trash in a post about how to stop being judgemental

How To Stop Being Judgemental Towards Those In Poverty

Try To Understand Their Situation:

Comparison of shoe quality in a post about how to stop being judgemental

Put Yourself In Their Shoes:

Someone comforting a young woman in a post about how to stop being judgemental

Be More Compassionate

A woman standing up for others in a post about how to stop being judgemental

Speak Up Against Judgmental Comments

A woman educating herself in a post about how to stop being judgemental

Educate Yourself On The Causes Of Poverty:

How To Stop Being Judgemental Towards Other Religions

Acknowledging Your Own Privilege

A woman thinking in a post about how to stop being judgemental

Understanding Different Religions

Diverse people planning together in a post about how to stop being judgemental

Avoiding Assumptions

A woman thinking in a post about how to stop being judgemental

Learning About Other Religions

A young boy educating himself on religion in a post about how to stop being judgemental

Respecting Beliefs and Avoiding Assumptions

How To Stop Being Judgmental in the Workplace/School

Reflecting on Your Judgments

A woman reflecting on herself in a post about how to stop being judgemental

Self-Awareness and Understanding

Two diverse woman talking in a post about how to stop being judgemental

Active Listening and Presence

A woman realizing her mistakes in a post about how to stop being judgemental

Acknowledging and Correcting Mistakes

To help you navigate and enhance your interactions at work, I recommend reading How to Improve Interpersonal Relationships in the Workplace.


Following the tips above, you can train your brain to think more positively about others and yourself. The next time you find yourself being judgemental, remember these tips and try to turn that judgment into something positive.

However if you're struggling to make this change yourself, we recommend Online Therapy.

Questions & answers

What Would Happen If We Stopped Judging Others And Ourselves So Harshly?

When we harshly judge others or ourselves, it only leads to anger, frustration, and self-doubt. It's a very unproductive way to conduct ourselves, ultimately destroying our peace of mind.

What Causes People To Be Judgemental?

Some of the most common causes include feeling insecure and threatened, wanting to feel superior to others, or having a rigid belief system that dictates how they should think and behave.


  1. verywellmind; How to Be Less Judgmental
  2. psychologytoday; How to Be Less Judgmental Toward Yourself
  3. socialself; How to Be Less Judgmental (and Why We Judge Others)
  4. verywellmind; How to Be Less Judgmental
  5. Religious Studies Center; Learning about Other Religions
  6. psychologytoday; How to Be Less Judgmental Toward Yourself
  7. verywellmind; How to Be Less Judgmental
  8. psychologytoday; How to Judge Without Being Judgmental

Secure Attachment Style: Can You Cultivate A Long Lasting Relationship?

What Is It?
How It Develops?
Helpful Products

A secure way to connect with others involves trusting and feeling comfortable in close relationships. People who have secure attachment styles and relationships tend also to have optimistic beliefs about themselves and others. They also feel comfortable with intimacy, emotional support, and closeness.

When babies are born, they need someone to take care of them. They rely on their caregiver to provide food, comfort, and safety. When the caregiver responds to the baby's needs consistently, and with love, the baby feels secure and learns to trust that their caregiver will always be there for them.

Over time, this emotional connection creates a special bond between the baby and its caregiver. The baby learns to count on their caregiver, even when things are scary or difficult. This feeling of safety and trust is what we call a secure attachment.

- Comfortable being close to each other
- Comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings.
- They can trust others and feel secure in their relationships.
- They feel confident in themselves and their ability to handle relationships.
- Able to be emotionally intimate with others and feel close to them
- They can handle conflict constructively.
- They can give and receive love freely.
- People who can forgive others and move on from past hurts.
- They have a strong sense of self-worth and feel good about themselves.
- They are comfortable with intimacy and do not fear being close to someone else.
- They don't need constant reassurance from others and feel secure in themselves.

- Able to regulate emotions
- Raise securely attached children
- Ability to manage stress and complex situations with poise
- Better mental health, including fewer bouts of anxiety and depression
- Improved relationships with partners, family, and friends
- Higher levels of trust in oneself
- Creating more trust in others
- Improved communication skills
- Ability to express oneself clearly and listen actively
- Improve your conflict resolution abilities.
- Better at establishing and maintaining firm boundaries
- Better social support and community bonding
- Better self-control and the ability to effectively take care of emotional needs
- The ability to be more intimate and form deeper connections with other human beings

Secure attachment is essential for human development and having healthy personal relationships. But what does it mean to be a secure person and to have a secure attachment style? And how can you develop one?

This article will explore the characteristics and benefits of a secure attachment style. We will also provide some tips for the secure attachment process and cultivating it.

A couple doing the tango

What is a secure attachment style?

A secure way to connect with others involves trusting and feeling comfortable in close relationships. People who have secure attachment styles and relationships tend also to have optimistic beliefs about themselves and others. They also feel comfortable with intimacy, emotional support, and closeness.

Individuals with a secure attachment style usually had caregivers who were continually responsive to their needs and established a sense of safety and security during their early childhood. This nurtured a sense of trust and security in close relationships throughout their lives.

People who exhibit secure attachment style traits are characterized by the following:

An example of adult relationships with people who are securely attached in their intimate relationship

How does a secure attachment develop?

According to attachment theory, when babies are born, they need someone to take care of them. They rely on their caregiver to provide food, comfort, and safety. When the caregiver responds to the baby's needs consistently, and with love, the baby feels secure and learns to trust that their caregiver will always be there for them.

Over time, this emotional connection creates a special bond between the baby and its caregiver. The baby learns to count on their caregiver, even when things are scary or difficult. This feeling of safety and trust is what we call a secure attachment. [2]

Helpful tip

Embrace self-care and mindfulness to ease anxiety. Recognizing your anxious-avoidant attachment style is the first step to healthier relationships!
A mother holding her child

Navigating the Journey of Secure Attachment: From Cradle to Adulthood

Secure attachment is the cornerstone of healthy emotional development. But how does this journey evolve from infancy to adulthood? Let's traverse this intriguing pathway.

The Dawn of Secure Attachment: Infancy

The saga of secure attachment begins in the crib. As babies, we're vulnerable beings, completely dependent on our caregivers for our most basic needs. Whether it's hunger, discomfort, or just a need for cuddles, we communicate these needs through our first language - crying.

The magic happens when the caregiver responds consistently. When a baby's cry is met with a warm, loving response, a message is sent: "The world is safe. You can trust that your needs will be met."

This trust, cultivated in infancy, sets the stage for a secure attachment style.

The Voyage Continues: Childhood

As babies transition into childhood, their world expands. Securely attached children carry the trust instilled in infancy into their new experiences. They're confident explorers, knowing they have a secure base to return to - their caregiver.

Children with secure attachments are also better equipped to handle emotions. They learn that it's okay to express feelings and that comfort is available when things get tough.

The Culmination: Adulthood

In adulthood, the seeds of secure attachment sown in early years bear fruit. Securely attached adults find it easier to form close, intimate relationships. They're comfortable expressing their feelings and are not afraid of being rejected or overwhelmed.

They also have a positive view of themselves and others. They believe they're worthy of love and trust that others are reliable and good-intentioned.

A couple holding hands on the beach

Understanding Secure Attachment Thought Patterns

Secure attachment is marked by confidence, independence, and emotional balance in relationships. It forms a foundation of trust, allowing for open communication and fostering a sense of safety. Understanding the thought patterns of those with secure attachments can provide useful insight into healthy emotional habits.

Confidence in Communication

People with secure attachments tend to have a relaxed approach to communication. They send messages without the compulsion to immediately check for a reply. They trust that the recipient will respond when they can, freeing them from the need to constantly monitor their phones. They don't associate delays in responses with negative implications about their relationship or the other person's feelings towards them.

Understanding of Personal Space

Those with secure attachment understand that everyone has a life outside their relationship. They respect personal space and time, and don't feel threatened if they are not in constant communication with their partners. They know that not being glued to their phones or chatting every day doesn't signify a decrease in affection or interest.

Self-Reliance and Personal Interest

Securely attached individuals value their independence and have their own hobbies, interests, and relationships outside their partnerships. They center their lives around their own personal growth and development. They believe in balancing their time between their partners and other aspects of their lives.

Setting Healthy Expectations

Setting unrealistic limits or expecting constant communication can lead to unhealthy habits and cause unnecessary stress in a relationship. Those with secure attachments understand that a delay in response doesn't necessarily mean a lack of interest or care. It simply means the other person hasn't gotten around to responding yet. They maintain healthy expectations and don't rush to negative conclusions based on minimal evidence. [6]

An elderly couple staking a scroll

What are the signs of a secure attachment style?

An elderly couple enjoying their time together

Benefits of a secure attachment style

The Secure Attachment Approach to Ghosting

When one encounter ghosting, the reaction varies greatly based on attachment styles. A securely attached person, who trusts in the dependability and goodwill of others, is likely to navigate the situation differently.

For instance, imagine a situation where someone you've had a great time with, who expressed a desire to be friends, suddenly ghosted you after you brought up certain past events that hurt you. As a securely attached individual, one might handle the situation like this:

Immediate Feedback

Securely attached individuals give immediate feedback when hurt. They don't wait to bring it up later as something that "has hurt in the past". The issue is addressed then and there, potentially avoiding the ghosting scenario altogether.

Maintaining Integrity

If ghosted, securely attached individuals may initially believe that there must be an unknown reason that explains the sudden disappearance. They might reach out to the person who ghosted them, and if there's no response, they would likely give them space.

Self-Reflection and Acceptance

If the ghosting continues, a securely attached individual might start reevaluating their perception of the person who ghosted them. They might conclude that they had an unrealistic idea of the ghoster's integrity and consider it a sign of weak communication skills, which they would find unattractive.

Moving On

Eventually, they would accept that they've been ghosted and conclude that the ghoster isn't someone they'd want to maintain a relationship with. They'd see it as an opportunity to learn and grow and not take the ghoster's behavior too personally. [7]

How to develop a secure attachment style?

Helpful tip

Deep breaths and self-awareness are key in managing your temper. Remember, your anger is valid, but it's how you express it that matters most.
A couple having a serious conversation about boundaries

Mastering the Art of Boundary Setting for Secure Attachment

Boundaries are invisible lines we draw to define our personal space, time, and emotional capacity. By setting clear boundaries, we can shift away from people-pleasing behaviors and move towards a secure attachment style.

Understanding Boundaries: A Practical Scenario

Let's consider a simple example to understand boundaries better. Imagine you agree to help someone but later realize that you're not available for the task. Instead of feeling obligated and resentful, you communicate the change of plan. This step of standing up for your needs is setting a boundary.

Key Takeaways:

The Spectrum of Boundaries: From Work to Relationships

Boundaries at the Workplace

In the professional context, setting boundaries might mean adhering strictly to your work schedule, ensuring that requests from colleagues do not intrude into your personal time. This helps maintain a healthy work-life balance.

Boundaries in Romantic Relationships

When it comes to romantic relationships, boundary setting involves acknowledging personal needs and self-worth. Individuals who have a healthy sense of self are better equipped to maintain their boundaries in relationships.

Key Takeaways:

Boundary Setting: A Hurdle for People Pleasers

For people who are used to pleasing others, setting boundaries can be a daunting task. They often struggle with issues of self-worth and find it difficult to assert their needs, leading to situations where they feel exploited or emotionally drained.

The Crucial Role of Self-Awareness in Boundary Setting

Becoming more self-aware is an essential step in setting healthy boundaries. This involves understanding the root causes of certain behaviors and recognizing personal patterns. One effective method is maintaining an impulse log, which can help identify triggers for particular reactions and learn from past experiences.

For instance, if you notice that you tend to lash out when your emotional needs are unmet, recognizing this pattern allows you to communicate your needs more effectively and establish boundaries to protect your emotional health.

Key Takeaways:

Interesting tip: Setting boundaries enhances your self-esteem and autonomy. One of the many benefits of therapy is helping you learn and maintain those boundaries.

People With A Secure Attachment Style Have Healthier Relationships

People with a secure attachment style tend to have healthier relationships as compared to those with insecure attachment styles (anxious, avoidant, or disorganized). Here are some areas where people with a secure attachment style typically don't encounter issues:

Consistent Communication

Securely attached individuals are generally effective communicators. They are comfortable expressing their needs, thoughts, and feelings, leading to fewer misunderstandings and conflicts. They are also more likely to have constructive discussions about issues instead of avoiding difficult conversations or becoming overly anxious about them.

Balanced Dependence

Unlike those with anxious or avoidant attachment styles, securely attached people have a balanced approach to dependence. They are comfortable with interdependence, meaning they can depend on their partner when necessary, but also maintain their independence. This balance fosters mutual respect and cooperation in the relationship.

Emotional Stability

Those with secure attachment styles tend to be more emotionally stable. They don't often experience the intense, negative emotions that characterize insecure attachment, such as fear of abandonment (common in anxious attachment) or discomfort with closeness (common in avoidant attachment).

Trust and Security

Secure individuals have a strong sense of trust in their relationships. They tend not to worry excessively about their partner's fidelity or commitment and feel secure in their partner's love for them. This level of trust provides a solid foundation for the relationship to grow and flourish.

Conflict Resolution

Secure individuals are typically better at managing and resolving conflicts. They can address issues openly and honestly without resorting to blame or avoidance. This ability leads to healthier conflict resolution and less relationship turmoil.


Those with a secure attachment style tend to be more adaptable to changes in the relationship. They can manage transitions and challenges without becoming overly anxious or resistant, allowing the relationship to evolve over time.

Remember that everyone can work towards developing a more secure attachment style through self-awareness, therapy, and consistent effort. It's never too late to work on improving your relationships and attachment style. [9]

Personal Stories Of People Developing A Secure Attachment Style


Navigating a succession of dysfunctional relationships and marriages from 18 to 49, the individual struggled with toxic patterns and relationships despite years of therapy. A transformative shift occurred when they embraced a trauma-centered therapist, engaged in EMDR therapy and activities like yoga and dancing, which led to a period of self-love and firm boundaries.

Despite these advancements, they still faced a challenging period, learning how to avoid codependency and communicate effectively. However, with time and further therapeutic support, they entered a relationship with a person who had a healthy attachment style, discovering that it was indeed possible to have a passionate relationship without drama, reinforcing the importance of working on personal trauma and fostering self-love.

Read Firefluffer's story.


In their journey towards a secure attachment style, this person found self-help exercises from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and regular consultation with a therapist crucial in developing coping tools for anxiety. They also realized the importance of having a supportive friend network, which helped reduce dependency on their partner and understand that no one person can fulfill all their needs.

The transformation also involved a deep dive into self-discovery, cultivating personal boundaries, interests, and a sense of self-worth that helped overcome feelings of loneliness and past trauma. Acknowledging their emotional needs, they learned to provide for themselves before involving a partner in their life. Podcasts on self-development and journaling served as valuable tools in their journey, demonstrating that while paths to secure attachment differ, they are achievable.

Read Akistrawberry's story.


In the journey of self-discovery and personal growth, fostering a secure attachment style is pivotal for building healthy and fulfilling relationships. Remember, it's a process that involves self-reflection, understanding personal needs, setting firm boundaries, and most importantly, cultivating self-love.

As we navigate this path, let's embrace the transformation, knowing that while the road may be challenging, the reward is a stronger, healthier self capable of meaningful, mutually nurturing relationships.


Can an adult attachment style change over time?

Yes, attachment styles to romantic partners can change with time and experience. According to the attachment theory, as people go through different romantic relationships, they may develop new ways of relating to others that are different from their initial attachment patterns.

What is the difference between secure and insecure attachment styles?

Secure attachment styles are characterized by trusting relationships and the ability to feel comfortable being close to others. While an insecure attachment style, on the other hand, is characterized by mistrust, and difficulty building close social and personal relationships, and emotional connections.


  1. Harvard College: Attachment Styles
  2. Insider: How to develop a secure attachment style so that you can have healthier, more loving relationships
  3. Psych Central: Here Is How to Identify Your Attachment Style
  4. Circle of Security International: The Benefits of Secure Attachment
  5. MindBodyGreen: How To Rewire Your Brain To Have A Secure Attachment Style
  6. INDIGO INSIGHT COUNSELLING: Developing a Secure Attachment
  7. r/AnxiousAttachment: How would a person with a secure attachment handle getting ghosted?
  8. r/AnxiousAttachment: What is meant by "set boundaries"? What does that mean exactly?
  9. Journal of Organizational Behavior: Secure attachment: implications for hope, trust, burnout, and performance
  10. r/AnxiousAttachment: Has anyone successfully developed in a secure attachment style?

Why Do I Hit Myself When I'm Angry? Understanding Self Harm

Why Do I Hit Myself?
How To Stop
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Self-harm can be a coping mechanism for intense emotions, including anger. It may provide a temporary sense of relief or control, but ultimately can lead to more harm and negative consequences. It's important to explore the root causes of your anger and develop healthier coping strategies.

- Pay attention to what situations or emotions lead to the urge to hit yourselfu003cbru003e- Find healthier ways to manage your angeru003cbru003e- Consider reaching out to a u003ca href=u0022 target=u0022_blanku0022 rel=u0022noopeneru0022 title=u0022u0022u003etherapistu003c/au003e or support groupu003cbru003e- If certain situations or people trigger your anger, consider limiting your exposure to themu003cbru003e- Be kind and patient with yourself as you work to overcome these behaviors

u003cimg class=u0022wp-image-885u0022 style=u0022width: 150px;u0022 src=u0022 alt=u0022u0022u003eu003cbru003eu003ca href=u0022 target=u0022_blanku0022 rel=u0022noopeneru0022 title=u0022u0022u003eHealing From Self Harm: A Journal For Self Harmers with Positivity Guided Promptsu003c/au003e

Feeling extreme emotions like anger and having negative feelings can be difficult to manage, and it can sometimes lead to outbursts of physical aggression. A person may hurt themselves in order to release the built-up tension, overwhelming emotions, and anger. This is called self-harm and can be done in various ways, such as by punching, slapping, or even headbanging.

Self-harm is an act usually seen as an expression of frustration and helplessness, but it can also be a sign of an underlying personality disorder or mental health problems, such as depression or anxiety disorders. It is important to understand why this behavior occurs so that appropriate help can be sought if necessary as it can lead to serious physical injury [1]

Why do people self-harm?

Understanding the reason behind the question "why do i hit myself when I'm angry?" can often be a challenging conundrum. The act of self-harm, which may involve behaviors such as cutting or burning oneself to feel physical pain, can seem unfathomable to some. Yet, it's a complex issue with a myriad of potential causes, each of which warrants careful exploration.

Self-injury often serves as a coping mechanism for individuals grappling with overwhelming emotions, persistent troubling thoughts, or high-stress situations. It's a distressing strategy employed by those who, in their intense emotional state, may feel helpless or cornered. [2]

Personality disorders can also contribute to the propensity for self-harm, making it even more complicated to understand and address. However, regardless of the underlying reasons or the emotional relief it may provide temporarily, self-injury invariably leads to both physical and emotional pain.

Moreover, individuals who struggle with articulating their emotions may resort to self-harm as an unconventional and harmful means of expression. At times, these self-harming actions might also be carried out as a form of self-punishment for perceived wrongs.

Here are 4 reasons why people intentionally hurt themselves when they are angry:

To regain control and shift attention

Self-injury is employed by people who struggle to maintain emotional and mental stability. Achieving such stability requires diverting your attention from a more pressing issue to one that is less urgent. Self-inflicted physical pain, such as cutting or burning your body, is a very intense and potent sensation. [2]

Some people who self-injure do so in order to drown out the tormenting thoughts that occupy their heads. They might, for instance, be suffering from PTSD after experiencing trauma as a result of physical or sexual abuse, mental illness problems, overwhelming feelings, substance abuse use, etc. Their minds might be stuck in a loop where the assault keeps playing out in their minds.

They hope to find temporary comfort from the stress of self-injury by focusing their attention on the pain of the wound.

Impulse control issues

Some people's ability to regulate their impulses is severely compromised by mental health issues or brain traumas. Because they lack the protective buffer that instructs them not to hurt themselves, they could resort to hitting themselves. It's possible that the person's mind will convince them that harming themselves is the best way to cope with whatever is making them angry. [3]

To let out words you can't voice out

When you're angry or frustrated, you may be dumbfounded and unable to express your emotions through speech or writing. This may force you to hit and harm yourself, hoping this action would make your provoker or sympathizer understand your feelings. [4]

You can take this quick depression test to know if you're depressed and start dealing with the condition accordingly.

Because you're angry with yourself

Sometimes, you may be the source of your anger. You may be disappointed with yourself for your failed dreams, constant struggles in life, and misfortune. This self-directed anger may cause you to hit yourself and inflict serious injury on your own body. [5]

Did you know

Intrusive thoughts can fuel anger, leading to self-harm. It's a misunderstood coping strategy for emotional distress.
A man asking a therapist 'why do i hit myself when im angry'

Unraveling the Psychology Behind Self-Hitting When Angry

Self-harm, such as hitting oneself when angry, can be a distressing and puzzling behavior both for the individual experiencing it and those witnessing it. This form of self-injury is often a reflection of deep-seated psychological turmoil, and grasping its origins can aid in developing healthier coping skills.

The Trigger: Anger and Frustration

Anger: A Complex Emotion

Anger is a fundamental human emotion that spans a spectrum from mild annoyance to intense fury. It's our response to perceived threats or injustices, and it serves to mobilize our physical and mental resources to confront or evade the threat. However, when anger becomes uncontrollable or chronic, it can drive harmful behaviors like self-harm. [7]

Frustration and Helplessness

Frustration is another powerful instigator for self-harm. When our efforts to reach goals or satisfy needs are thwarted, it can lead to a profound sense of helplessness. Individuals who grapple with expressing these feelings or lack effective coping skills might resort to self-harm, such as self-hitting, as a tangible demonstration of their frustration. [8]

Self-Hitting As A Coping Mechanism

Physical Pain as a Distraction

For some, the physical pain from self-harm, such as self-hitting, temporarily distracts from the emotional pain they're enduring. This feeling of physical pain can seem more manageable or tangible, providing a momentary respite from psychological distress.

Regaining Control

Self-harm can also act as a misguided attempt to reclaim control amidst overwhelming emotions. By choosing to inflict physical pain upon themselves, individuals might experience a fleeting sense of power and control that they can't find in their emotional reality.

Expression of Self-Directed Anger

In some cases, the anger that drives self-harm is directed inward. Individuals may resort to self-injury as a form of self-punishment for perceived failures, errors, or inadequacies. This action could be an outward manifestation of low self-esteem and self-reproach. [9]

Helpful tip: The anger iceberg illustrates that anger is often a cover for deeper emotions. Understanding this can help prevent self-harm during anger episodes.

The Cycle of Self-Hitting: A Call for Compassion and Understanding

Recognizing self-harm as an indication of emotional distress rather than dismissing it as a plea for attention is vital in offering the right support. The cycle of self-harm, especially self-hitting, can be challenging to break without professional assistance, as the underlying issues need to be addressed.

If you or someone you know is engaging in self-harm, it is crucial to seek professional help. Therapists and counselors can provide strategies to manage anger and frustration in a healthy manner and help build a robust support system for the individual. Remember, everyone deserves help and understanding in their journey toward improved mental health.

A man who inflicts self injury walking around

The Impact of Hitting Yourself When Angry

The act of self-hitting when angry, while serving as a coping mechanism for some, can have severe physical, emotional, and social impacts. It's essential to understand the breadth and depth of these impacts to appreciate the urgency of seeking help and breaking the cycle.

Physical Consequences

Immediate Physical Harm

The most apparent impact of self-hitting is the immediate physical harm it can cause. Depending on the intensity and frequency, this could range from minor bruises and swelling to serious injuries that require medical attention.

Long-Term Health Risks

Chronic self-hitting can lead to long-term health risks. Repeated trauma to the body can cause lingering pain, physical disabilities, or permanent damage. Furthermore, frequent self-harm can also lead to increased tolerance to pain, which might escalate the severity of the self-inflicted harm over time.

Emotional Consequences

Reinforcement of Negative Emotions

Paradoxically, while self-hitting is often a response to negative emotions, it can also reinforce these very emotions. It can heighten feelings of worthlessness, guilt, and self-loathing, creating a vicious cycle of emotional distress and self-harm.

Stress and Anxiety

The act of self-hitting can also contribute to increased stress and anxiety. Individuals may constantly worry about hiding their injuries or living in fear of their loss of control, leading to an added layer of psychological distress.

Social Consequences

Isolation and Relationship Strain

Self-hitting can lead to social isolation. Individuals may withdraw from social interactions to hide their injuries or out of fear of judgment. This behavior can also place a significant strain on relationships, creating feelings of helplessness and frustration in loved ones who may not understand the reasons behind the behavior.

To learn more about how to prevent this, I suggest reading "How Anger Damages Relationships. Why Your Relationships Fail".

Stigma and Misunderstanding

Society often stigmatizes self-harm, which can lead to misunderstanding and further isolation. Individuals who self-harm may face judgment or rejection, which can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and despair. [10]

Interesting fact: PTSD can result in self-hitting as a coping mechanism. It's a physical manifestation of the internal emotional turmoil caused by trauma.

A man experiencing extreme emotions and hold his face in his hands

How to stop self-hitting

There are several ways to stop self-hitting and other acts of self-harm, including seeking professional help, developing healthy coping skills, and building a strong support system. With the right help and support from family members and a therapist, it is possible to overcome self-harm and lead a healthier life. [6]

You should try to limit the number of times you inflict physical pain on yourself

It's not easy to just stop doing something. Substance misuse, physical violence, and other methods of self-harm are all ineffective for many people. It's possible that going "cold turkey" won't work for you. That's counterproductive since it may lead you to believe that you can't recover from a relapse despite the fact that you can.

Cutting down on how often you self-injure each week is preferable. At first, try reducing it by a quarter of the time. Then, when you are ready, you gradually reduce the frequency until you no longer engage in it at all.

Employ distractions to change your mentality

When we're feeling down, it can help to 'have something to divert our attention for a while. It's easy to give in to destructive emotions and urges if you give them a lot of thought and attention. Alternatively, you could try doing anything else in place of the harmful things you've been doing to yourself. If you sense the need to hurt yourself, distract yourself by going for a run, reading a book, engaging in a hobby, or laughing at a hilarious movie.

Talk to someone

Self-harm is a scary issue, so it's best to talk about it with someone you trust and schedule joint treatment sessions with a mental health professional. The best place to feel comfortable sharing is with a family member, a therapist, friends, or a support group, but these resources aren't always available when you need them. You can consult a reliable mental health professional through the internet for Online Therapy.


Self-harm, in its varied physical and emotional forms, requires early recognition and intervention. Open discussions with a trusted individual and seeking professional help are critical steps in addressing self-harm. The benefits of online therapy, for instance, provide accessible resources for those grappling with such struggles.

There is a wealth of online therapy options available, offering help right at your fingertips, making it easier for you to reach out for assistance. Remember, prioritizing self-care is fundamental for your mental health and well-being. Don't hesitate to make use of these resources to ensure you're doing what's best for you.


Why did I start hitting myself when angry?

Self-injury can occur for a variety of reasons, including the need to vent frustration, self-hate, or resentment toward others or the need to release pent-up emotions.

Is hitting your head when angry normal?

Could this be considered typical behavior? Parents may become distressed if they witness their children engaging in head bashing. Nonetheless, pounding one's head occasionally is typically done for reasons of self-stimulation, self-comfort, or as an outlet for pent-up displeasure. This is not a precursor to any other issues.


  1. Self-harm
  2. Why people self-harm
  3. What are impulse control disorders?
  4. Hitting Yourself: Why You Do It, Why It's A Problem, How To Stop
  5. Why Do I Feel Like Hurting Myself When I'm Mad?
  6. 10 Ways to Resist the Urge to Self-Harm
  7. Pubmed: Anger, impulsivity and wall/object punching in a sample of U.S. veterans with psychiatric disorders
  8. American Psychological Association: A new look at self-injury
  9. Mayo Clinic: Self-injury/cutting
  10. Pubmed: Proactive coping style and intentional self-harm: A cross-sectional study
  11. University of Massachusetts: Risk Factors for and Functions of Deliberate Self-Harm

You Need To know This: Understanding the 6 Anxiety Recovery Stages

Anxiety Recovery Stages
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- Recognizing that you are experiencing anxiety and acknowledging its impact on your life
- Learning about anxiety, its symptoms, causes, and treatments
- Developing healthy habits to manage your anxiety
- Practicing mindfulness techniques
- Gradually exposing yourself to anxiety-provoking situations
- Continuing to practice self-care, mindfulness, and exposure techniques

Anxiety is a normal human emotion that people experience in their life to varying degrees. However, some people may experience anxiety to an extreme extent which leads to serious physical and mental health issues. Fortunately, there is hope for people suffering from anxiety disorders because recovery is possible. This article will look at the six Anxiety Recovery Stages, which provide a helpful roadmap to healing and lasting relief from debilitating symptoms.

About Anxiety Disorder

About Anxiety

Anxiety defines a group of mental health disorders that can cause feelings of fear, worry, or unease. People with anxiety may experience intrusive thoughts and physical symptoms such as sweating, difficulty breathing, and increased heart rate. From mild to severe, anxiety can take on many different forms, including panic attacks, social anxiety disorder, and phobias.

Anxiety is the most common mental illness in the US, with about 40 million adults suffering from it [1]. According to NIH, anxiety disorders can disrupt a person's life by increasing the risk of substance abuse, alcoholism, major depression, and even cardiac arrests[2]. However, a few people try to recover from it. Mentioned below are the six stages of anxiety recovery.

Note: There is no certain order to these stages. Depending on the individual, recovery may take different paths.

The 6 Anxiety Recovery Stages

Anxiety Test

Do our quick 10 question, convidential Anxiety tests and get a basic understanding of your current level of anxiety.

A woman with anxiety disorder feeling like she's walking on strings

How Anxiety Disorders Impact Daily Life

When discussing anxiety, it's critical to understand that its effects are not confined to occasional feelings of worry or stress. In reality, an anxiety disorder can permeate every aspect of a person's daily life, from work and relationships to physical health and personal well-being. Here's an in-depth look at how an anxiety disorder can impact various aspects of daily life.

Fun fact: Hormones that cause anxiety include cortisol and adrenaline, released during the fight-or-flight response, intensifying anxious feelings.

Impact on Work Performance

Decreased Productivity and Concentration

Anxiety can be incredibly distracting, making it hard to focus on tasks at hand. This could lead to decreased productivity, missed deadlines, or lower quality of work. An individual may find themselves constantly worrying, which diverts their attention from their responsibilities and duties.

Job Insecurity

The constant state of worry might also manifest in concerns about job security. A person with an anxiety disorder might constantly feel like their job is at risk, leading to additional stress and potentially exacerbating their condition.

A small family sitting together for a meal

Impact on Relationships

Communication Challenges

Anxiety can lead to communication challenges in relationships. People with anxiety may struggle to express their feelings or needs effectively, leading to misunderstandings or conflicts.

Social Withdrawal

In many cases, people with anxiety disorders may avoid social situations due to fear of judgment or criticism, leading to feelings of isolation and potentially straining relationships with friends, family, and partners.

Helpful tip: How to make friends when you have social anxiety - Start with small steps, join supportive groups or activities, and practice self-compassion to build connections gradually.

Impact on Personal Well-Being

Physical Health

Anxiety isn't just a mental condition; it can also have physical symptoms. These can include heart palpitations, headaches, digestive problems, and insomnia. Over time, these symptoms can lead to more serious health complications.

Emotional Exhaustion

Living in a constant state of worry or fear can be emotionally exhausting. This emotional drain can lead to other issues like depression, mood swings, or a general decrease in enjoyment of life.

Lack of Self-Care

People with anxiety disorders often neglect self-care. They might skip meals, have poor sleep habits, or not get enough physical activity. This lack of self-care can further exacerbate anxiety symptoms.

Here are some quick facts about the impact of anxiety on daily life:

A man with anxiety disorder and he feels like he's standing on glass

Stage 1: Acclimating & Starting the Work

The initial stage of anxiety disorder recovery involves wanting to recover the condition. In the first stage, those who are overwhelmed by anxiety symptoms will try to stop panicking and start accepting the reality of their situation. They realize however, that does not matter how hard they try, they can't control their problematic anxiety. Only then do they understand that they need help from mental health professionals and will start to look for one.

If your situation relates to this stage, consider yourself lucky, as only 36.9% of anxiety patients out of 19.1% population in the US actually seek help.[1]

Stage 2: Resisting the Process

In this phase, your mind resists the idea of getting help, and you might not be able to take your situation seriously or even see the need for help. You are afraid of what change your therapy could bring. However, you must move on if you want to recover.

Stage 3: Pushing Through the Resistance and Responding to Treatment

The third stage of anxiety disorder recovery is ignoring the resistance of your mind and trying out anxiety medication given by the doctor. You might hesitate at first, but you eventually try to accept and follow through with treatment. This is a difficult stage for many patients as it usually involves confronting your fears and accepting your mental illness. This stage is so fragile that you may stop taking medications at any moment.

Tips to push through this step: Once you start getting treatments, do not stop suddenly. Otherwise, you might experience withdrawal symptoms that mimic anxiety symptoms. Practice self-care and seek support from your family and friends if negative thoughts and feelings arise. Talk to your therapist when your mind tries to resist.

Stage 4: Doing the Work and Stepping Up the Game

This is the stage where you consciously try to work through anxiety. Other than taking medications, you will set up realistic goals and take actionable steps to reach them. You will also attend therapy sessions, join support groups, or try alternative treatments like yoga and meditation. You will see progress in your condition as you work to manage and cope with it.

Tips: Passing this stage will take time and patience, and it is normal to feel overwhelmed at some point. However, stay consistent with your treatment. Also, don't forget to take regular breaks to avoid stress.

Stage 5: Creating Confidence through Mastery & Self-Advocation

You are almost recovered. You can now start whatever you want confidently. You are starting to master your condition and advocate for yourself. This means understanding your needs and boundaries, participating in activities you enjoy, and having meaningful relationships with others.

Stage 6: Demonstrating Mastery

You are now fully recovered and thriving. You have full control over your body and mental health. Now you can recognize warning signs of relapse quickly and are actively involved in self-care.

In this stage, you may also try to help others with mental health issues, which is a good sign. However, do not stop your therapy sessions unless advised by your therapist. You must also continue self-care, such as exercise, healthy eating, and relaxation techniques. Anxiety can be controlled, but there is no cure for it [3]. So, stay connected with your support system, practice mindfulness and meditation regularly, and use the coping skills you have learned as long as you can.

A man feeling anxious and struggling to stay balanced

Debunking Myths and Misconceptions About Anxiety

In order to better understand and support those struggling with anxiety disorders, it's essential to address some of the common myths and misconceptions that surround these conditions. By debunking these falsehoods, we can help remove the stigma around anxiety disorders and promote a more empathetic and informed perspective.

Myth 1: Anxiety Is Not a Real Illness

The Truth: Anxiety Is a Legitimate Mental Health Condition

Many people mistakenly believe that anxiety is just a normal part of life and not a serious mental health issue. However, anxiety disorders are real and can have a significant impact on a person's life. They are recognized medical conditions with specific diagnostic criteria and treatment options.

Myth 2: People with Anxiety Can Simply "Snap Out of It"

The Truth: Overcoming Anxiety Requires Time, Effort, and Support

One of the most common misconceptions about anxiety is that people who suffer from it can simply "snap out of it" or "think positive" to overcome their symptoms. However, managing anxiety is a complex process that often involves a combination of therapy, medication, and self-care strategies. It takes time and effort to manage anxiety effectively, and support from loved ones is crucial.

Myth 3: Anxiety Is a Sign of Weakness

The Truth: Anxiety Can Affect Anyone, Regardless of Strength or Resilience

Some people might see anxiety as a sign of weakness or a lack of resilience. However, the truth is that anxiety disorders can affect people of all ages, genders, and backgrounds. It's important to recognize that experiencing anxiety does not make someone weak; in fact, many individuals living with anxiety display incredible strength and resilience in managing their symptoms.

Interesting fact: Children of a mentally ill parent are at higher risk of developing anxiety due to genetic and environmental factors, but early intervention can significantly improve outcomes.

Myth 4: Anxiety Disorders Are Rare

The Truth: Anxiety Disorders Are Highly Prevalent

Contrary to popular belief, anxiety disorders are not rare. They are, in fact, the most common mental health disorders in the United States, affecting millions of people each year. Recognizing the prevalence of these disorders is essential for raising awareness and promoting understanding.

Myth 5: Anxiety Is Always Caused by Stress

The Truth: Anxiety Can Have Multiple Causes

While stress can undoubtedly trigger anxiety symptoms, it's important to understand that anxiety disorders can have various causes. These can include genetic factors, brain chemistry, personality traits, and life experiences. It's crucial to recognize that anxiety is a complex condition with many contributing factors. [5]

Helpful tip

If experiencing PTSD, remember that healing is a process. Seek therapy, practice self-care, connect with supportive people, and be patient with yourself on the journey to recovery.

Anxiety Treatment Options

Anxiety Treatment Options

There are various treatment options available for anxiety and depression.


Anxiety disorder is a serious condition that can dramatically affect your psychological and physical well-being. However, with the right treatment and support, it is possible to manage anxiety and improve your quality of life. Taking the first step is the hardest, but with professional help, you can step through the recovery process and regain control of your life. Good luck!


How long does it take to recover from anxiety?

Depending on the individual, it can take from a few months to several years to overcome anxiety.

Can anxiety completely go away?

Anxiety disorders usually go away with the right treatment and self-care plan. However, you can not cure the illness completely. But you can manage it and cope with the rest of the symptoms.


  1. Facts & Statistics | Anxiety and Depression
  2. Anxiety - StatPearls - NCBI Bookshelf
  3. Can Anxiety Be Cured?

The Truth Behind Why I Hate Myself and Healing Strategies

What Is It?
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Self-hatred, also known as self-loathing, is a negative and harmful emotional state where an individual holds an intensely critical view of themselves, often feeling unworthy, undeserving, or inherently flawed.

- Childhood experiences
- Trauma
- Societal expectations
- Mental health issues
- Peer pressure and bullying
- Constantly comparing oneself to others,
- Perfectionism
- Internalized stigma

- Childhood experiences
- Trauma
- Societal expectations
- Mental health issues
- Peer pressure and bullying
- Comparison
- Perfectionism
- Internalized stigma

- Therapy
- Self-compassion
- Mindfulness and meditation
- Challenging negative thoughts
- Journaling
- Support groups
- Building self-esteem
- Surround yourself with positivity
- Self-care
- Professional help

Do you have negative thoughts about yourself often? If so, you are not the only one. Many people feel bad about themselves and doubt their abilities, but it is possible to stop these destructive thoughts.

In this blog post, we'll show you how to move from self-loathing to self-love. We'll also outline some steps that might help you overcome your self-hate.

What does it mean when you think 'I hate myself'?

“I hate myself” - a phrase that’s more than just a fleeting thought. It’s an echo of deeper, underlying issues, often rooted in our past experiences of domestic violence, emotional abuse, gaslighting or verbal abuse. The tumultuous waves of such experiences leave scars, shaping our perceptions and emotions. [1]

“The wounds may not be visible, but they are as real and profound as the air we breathe.”

The Impact of Self-Hatred on Mental Health

Not liking yourself can make you feel sad and worried. If you already feel down or scared a lot, it can make you feel even worse. Studies show that people who don’t like themselves often feel sadder and more worried than others. It’s important to work on liking yourself more to feel happier and healthier. [2]

What causes self-hatred in someone?

Childhood and Parental Influence

The impact of childhood experiences and parental relationships on an individual’s mental and emotional well-being is well-documented and significant. Early life experiences, particularly those involving parents, play a crucial role in shaping a child's psychological development. Children raised in environments where mental illness is present, where they're forced to care for mentally ill parents, often face unique challenges that can influence their self-perception and mental health.

Narcissistic Mothers

In particular, daughters of narcissistic mothers encounter specific psychological hurdles of which can be read about in our blog 10 Things Narcissistic Mothers Do To Their Children And Why.

The complex dynamics of these relationships are explored in various resources, including books on healing from narcissistic mothers for daughters. These works provide insights into the patterns of behavior characteristic of narcissistic parents and offer strategies for healing and overcoming the associated psychological impacts.

The Impact of Infidelity

Infidelity can lead to a profound erosion of trust, resulting in emotional turmoil and, often, a negative self-outlook. Individuals who have experienced betrayal may grapple with intensified feelings of self-loathing, questioning their worth and value.

In this light, understanding how to build trust after infidelity is not just about restoring a relationship but also about addressing the deep-seated emotional wounds that contribute to negative self-perception.

Signs of self-hatred

A table about Therapeutic strategies for self-hatred

Common strategies to help combat self-hatred

Therapeutic strategies

The Role of Therapy in Overcoming Self-Hatred

Going to therapy can help people who don’t like themselves. There are types like CBT and DBT that are super helpful. They teach special ways to feel better, like paying attention to the moment, writing in a journal, or facing scary things little by little.

If you’re having a hard time liking yourself, think about getting help from a professional. They know lots of ways to help you feel better about yourself.[5]

Self-care strategies

Understanding and Acceptance

Understanding is rooted in the exploration of the psychological dynamics that underpin feelings of self-hate. It involves identifying and dissecting the cognitive, emotional, and experiential elements that contribute to negative self-perception.

For instance, individuals can gain insights and reflections through resources like movies about depression and self-harm, which can offer a nuanced perspective on the internal struggles associated with self-loathing.

Final Reflections

The integration of psychological insights, therapeutic interventions, and the supportive scaffolding of relationships and community fosters a space where healing is not just possible, but inevitable. As individuals navigate this path, each step, each revelation, serves as a testament to the indomitable human spirit’s capacity to transcend adversity, rewrite narratives, and emerge, not just intact, but empowered and renewed.


What are some strategies for developing self-compassion?

Here’s an easy way to start liking yourself more: whenever you think something bad about yourself, try to change it into something good. Do things that make you happy and relaxed, and spend time with friends who support you. When times get tough, have healthy ways to cope.

Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings without labeling them as good or bad. If you catch yourself saying something negative, try to turn it into something positive. Also, remember to eat healthy and stay active to make your body feel good.

What are some healthy coping skills to manage difficult emotions and stress?

When you're feeling emotional or stressed, there are healthy ways to deal with those feelings. You can exercise to let out energy, take deep breaths to calm down, or write about your feelings in a journal. Talking to a friend or family member who you trust can also help. Try to focus on what’s happening right now instead of worrying about the past or future. Doing relaxing things like yoga or meditation can make you feel calm. You can also do something creative like drawing or painting to express your feelings and make yourself feel better.


  1. How Childhood Abuse Becomes Self-Abuse - Psych Central
  2. The relationship of shame, social anxiety and depression
  3. Research Gate: Self, self-concept, and identity
  4. Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward Oneself
  5. Self-Compassion: Compassionate Mind Training for People with High Shame
  6. USDOA: Strategies for Self-Care & Resilience

⚠️Disclaimer: The information provided on this health blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

Why Is Everyone So Mean to Me? Understand The Negative Treatment from Others

Have you ever felt like people are being mean to you even when you have not done anything wrong? You are not the only one. Many people have this experience at some point in their life. It can be hard to understand why this happens.

In this blog post, we'll explore some possible reasons why others may be treating you poorly. We will also provide some tips on how to cope with these negative experiences.


Remember that seeking professional help, such as online therapy, can provide you with the tools to cope with mean people and the emotional consequences of their behavior.
People tend to blame a single person and it's shown in the image

The Impact of Social Media on Mean Behavior

Social media platforms can inadvertently encourage mean behavior due to their design and the way they foster communication. The nature of these platforms often rewards attention-grabbing content, which can include controversial or inflammatory comments.

Additionally, social media allows people to engage with others without the social cues and immediate feedback present in face-to-face interactions, making it easier for users to post hurtful comments without considering the consequences. The algorithms used by these platforms can also create echo chambers, where users are exposed mainly to content that aligns with their existing beliefs, further polarizing opinions and increasing the likelihood of mean or aggressive behavior. [1]

Helpful tip: To combat social media addiction, set boundaries. Schedule designated screen-free time, limit usage, and engage in offline activities. Prioritize real-life connections and self-care.

A woman who's overcome her own insecurities

The Role of Self-Esteem and Personal Perception

Low self-esteem is closely linked to an individual's self-perception and interpretation of the actions of others. When a person has low self-esteem, they may have a negative self-image and tend to view themselves as unworthy or unlikable. This negative self-image can create a cognitive bias known as "negative filtering," where individuals focus on negative aspects of a situation while discounting or ignoring positive elements.

For example, when facing the question "why is everyone so mean to me," it's essential to remember that not everyone in your own life shares the same opinions or behaves in the same way. People treat others differently based on various factors, and personal power lies in recognizing these differences and responding accordingly.

By understanding the role self-esteem and personal perception play in interpreting social interactions, you can develop a more balanced perspective and avoid falling into the trap of negative filtering. This mindset shift will help you recognize that not all social encounters are inherently mean or negative and provide you with the tools needed to navigate these situations more effectively.[2]

Important: Online therapist influencers can provide valuable mental health insights, resources, and support. Follow them for helpful tips, relatable content, and to destigmatize seeking therapy.

An example of a girl with good self esteem

People are mean to you because of your own behavior

Emotional Factors

People are mean to you because of their own issues

Environmental Factors

Helpful tip

Understanding the differences between coping vs defense mechanisms can be key in dealing with people's negative behavior.
A young woman feeling uncomfortable because people are mean to her

Things you can do to improve your social interactions

Self-Reflection and Improvement

Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries with mean people is essential for maintaining a healthy and positive environment in various contexts. Here are some detailed examples of setting boundaries in different situations:

At work:

At school

Within family relationships:

A woman going for a jog to help release negative emotions

Develop a Healthy Lifestyle and Support System

Cultivate a Positive Attitude

A woman meditating about her own behavior and managing her own anger

Strategies for Building Resilience and Emotional Strength

Building resilience is essential for effectively dealing with life's challenges and overcoming adversity. By developing emotional strength, individuals can better cope with difficult situations and maintain a sense of well-being. Here are specific techniques for building resilience:

Cognitive-behavioral strategies

These techniques involve identifying and challenging negative thought patterns, which can help to develop a more balanced and positive perspective. Cognitive restructuring, for example, involves recognizing irrational beliefs and replacing them with healthier, more rational thoughts.


Practicing mindfulness meditation can help to cultivate self-awareness, acceptance, and emotional regulation. By focusing on the present moment and observing thoughts and emotions without judgment, individuals can develop a deeper understanding of their emotional responses and learn to manage stress more effectively.


Writing about emotions, experiences, and thoughts can provide a healthy outlet for processing feelings and gaining insight into one's emotional state. Journaling can also help to identify patterns in behavior and emotions, which can be useful for developing coping strategies and building resilience.

Engaging in hobbies that promote well-being

Participating in activities that bring joy, relaxation, or a sense of accomplishment can help to build resilience by fostering positive emotions and reducing stress. Examples of such activities might include exercise, spending time in nature, practicing a creative hobby, or volunteering.

Building a strong support network

Cultivating relationships with supportive friends, family members, or professionals can provide a crucial source of emotional support and encouragement. Sharing experiences and feelings with others can help to normalize challenges and foster a sense of belonging and connection.

Developing problem-solving skills

Learning to approach challenges with a proactive and solution-focused mindset can help to build resilience by increasing confidence in one's ability to overcome obstacles. Developing problem-solving skills might involve brainstorming possible solutions, evaluating their potential outcomes, and implementing the most effective strategies.

Emphasizing self-compassion

Practicing self-compassion involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding during difficult times, and recognizing that suffering is a natural part of the human experience. By fostering self-compassion, individuals can cultivate a more resilient and compassionate response to adversity.

Benefits of building emotional strength


It's important to remember that dealing with mean people can be challenging, but seeking professional help, such as online therapy, can provide you with the tools to cope with the emotional consequences of their behavior. By understanding the reasons behind mean behavior, setting boundaries, and building resilience, you can improve your interactions with others and feel more confident in yourself.


Why do people always seem to be mean to me?

Sometimes people who are mean to others have their own feelings of insecurity or lack of self-worth that they are trying to cover up. It’s important to remember that being subjected to someone’s rudeness does not make you a bad person or deserving of negative treatment.

What can I do to make people stop being mean to me?

Try not to take their words or behavior personally. It might help to remember that they may be dealing with their own issues and lashing out at you as a result. You could also try talking to them in a calm and respectful way to try to get them to see things from your perspective. It's also important to take a stand for yourself by speaking up when someone is mistreating you.


  1. Why Do Bullies Bully? - The Mazziotti Group
  2. Social Psychology Factors in Traditional Bullying and Cyberbullying
  3. Union Collage: Causes and Consequences of Bullying
  4. University of Washington: Violence in the home leads to higher rates of childhood bullying
    Boston Collage: Enhancing Social Interactions
  5. Loss, Trauma, and Human Resilience: Have We Underestimated the Human Capacity to Thrive After Extremely Aversive Events?