10 Things Narcissistic Mothers Do To Their Children And Why

Narcissistic mothers can be tough on their kids and others around them. They can make you feel bad by being critical and manipulative, and this can hurt you for a long time.

If your mom acts this way, it's crucial to have limits to protect yourself. It's like drawing a line that she shouldn't cross to keep herself safe and happy. It's also a good idea to talk to friends or family members who care about you and can support you. They can help make things a bit easier.

Sometimes, talking to a therapist online from your home can be helpful. They can listen, understand, and give advice on how to feel better and deal with a mom who is narcissistic.

Here are ten things a narcasistic mother will do to their child and why:

• Narcissistic mothers don't understand or agree with their child's emotions. They think only of themselves.
• A narcissistic mother tries to control everything her child does because she wants her child to make her look good and do exactly as she expects. It's like she's making her kid live by her rules and wishes all the time, so she can feel proud and important.
• Narcissistic mothers use their children as an extension of themselves and want to control every aspect of their child's life. This includes what they do and how they behave. The mother does this, so people will think she is a good parent and therefore her child must meet her expectations.
• A narcissistic mother will belittle, criticize or direct hurtful words (be verbally abusive) to her children to make them feel bad. She does this to feel better about herself and have power over them.
• She may use their child to make themselves look good or feel better, instead of what is best for the child.
• The mother may show more love and attention to one child while ignoring or mistreating another.
• She may not take responsibility for her own mistakes or things she is not good at. She may blame her child or other people instead.
• Narcissistic mothers might not get along well with their kids. They try to control their children too much, not letting them be themselves or live their own lives. It's like the kids are forced to live the way their mom wants, instead of discovering who they are and what they like.
• She may refuse to show love or affection to their child as a way to punish or control them.
• A narcissistic parent uses guilt or shame to control their child. The child feels responsible for the mother's feelings or needs.
• A narcissistic mother will not be able to see her child as a person with his or her own feelings and needs. Instead, she might only see the child as a way to get what she wants, like admiration, control, or attention. This can affect the child's emotional and mental health, as well as their ability to form healthy relationships in the future.

A narcissistic mother will not be able to see her child as a person with his or her own feelings and needs. Instead, she might only see the child as a way to get what she wants, like admiration, control, or attention. This can affect the child's emotional and mental health, as well as their ability to form healthy relationships in the future.

The Impact of Narcissistic Mothers on Their Children

A narcissistic mother's actions can have lasting effects on her children.

Emotional Consequences

Children of narcissistic mothers often experience emotional consequences, such as:

• Low self-esteem and self-worth
• Difficulty trusting others
• Shame and guilt
• Anxiety and depression
• Fear of abandonment or rejection
• Difficulty setting boundaries
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
• Difficulty regulating emotions
• Anger and frustration
• Isolation and loneliness

Long-term Effects

Some long-term effects of having a narcissistic mother include:

• Difficulty forming healthy relationships
• Codependency issues
• Difficulty with self-care and self-compassion
• Difficulty with assertiveness and standing up for oneself
• Poor self-image and body image issues
• Difficulty trusting oneself and making decisions
• Difficulty with intimacy and vulnerability
• Chronic feelings of emptiness and boredom
• Difficulty with setting and maintaining boundaries
• Persistent feelings of anger, frustration, and resentment. [1]

Signs of a Narcissistic Mother

Here are ten things a mother with narcissistic personality disorder will do to her own children, including her own daughter:

Lack of Empathy

Narcissist mothers struggle to understand or agree with their child's emotions, as they tend to focus solely on themselves.

Overbearing Control

A mom with narcissistic traits might try to control everything her child does. She does this because she wants her child to make her look good and to do everything the way she wants. It's like the child has to follow her rules all the time to make her happy and proud.

Using Children as Extensions

Narcissistic mothers often treat their kids like they are a part of them, not separate people with their own thoughts and feelings.

They try to control how their kids act and behave so that they themselves look like good moms to others. It's like the kids are being forced to be puppets that the mom controls to make herself look better.

Emotional Abuse

A narcissistic mother might say mean things, criticize, or use hurtful words to make her kids feel bad - she'll emotionally abuse them. She does this to show she has power over them and to make herself feel important and special. It's like she's trying to make herself feel big by making her kids feel small.

Exploitation

Narcissistic mothers might use their kids to make themselves look good or feel better. Instead of thinking about what's best for their kids, these moms are more focused on themselves. It's like they care more about how they appear to others than how their kids feel or what they need.

Favoritism

A narcissistic mother might be nice and caring to one child but ignore or be mean to another. This can make family members upset and cause arguments or bad feelings in the family. It's like she has favorites, and it's not fair to everyone.

Shifting Blame

Narcissistic mothers often don't admit when they make mistakes. Instead, they blame their kids or other family members. It's like they always want to look perfect and make others seem like they did something wrong, even when it's not true.

Lack of Emotional Support

Narcissistic mothers might not have a good relationship with their grown-up kids. They can try to control them too much, making it hard for them to live their own lives or be themselves.

It's like even though their kids are adults, these moms still treat them like little kids and don't let them make their own choices.

Withholding Love and Affection

A narcissistic mother might withhold love and affection as a means to punish or control her children.

Guilt and Shame

Narcissistic mothers often make their kids feel guilty or ashamed to control them. They make their kids feel like they have to take care of the mom's feelings or needs. It's like the mom makes her kids believe they have to keep her happy, and if they don't, it's their fault.

Impact on the Child's Life

Kids who have narcissistic mothers, including their daughters, often have a hard time with their feelings and thoughts. They can feel sad or worried a lot and might find it tough to make friends or get along with others as they grow up.

Having a mom like this makes it harder for them to be happy and have good relationships with people.[2]

Examples of things narcissistic mothers say

• "I sacrificed so much for you, and this is how you repay me?"
• "You're so selfish, always thinking about yourself."
• "I don't know where I went wrong raising you."
• "Why can't you be more like your sibling?"
• "You should be grateful for everything I've done for you."
• "You'll never amount to anything."
• "No one else will ever love you the way I do."
• "You're so oversensitive; you need to toughen up."
• "I'm only criticizing you because I want what's best for you."
• "You're lucky to have a mother like me."
• "You always disappoint me."
• "You should be doing more to help me."
• "You owe me for all I've done for you."
• "I can't believe you would treat your own mother this way."
• "You're just like your father."[3]

Tips for Coping with a Narcissistic Mother

Dealing with a narcissistic mother can be challenging, but there are ways to cope and protect yourself.

Establish Boundaries

• Limit contact when necessary
• Set clear boundaries for communication and behavior
• Stick to your boundaries, even when they are tested

Seek Support

• Reach out to friends, family, or support groups
• Share your experiences and learn from others in similar situations
• Consider professional help, such as therapy or counseling

Practice Self-Care

• Prioritize your emotional well-being
• Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation
• Develop healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with stress[4]

Conclusion 

Narcissistic mothers can be hard on their kids and others around them. They can make you feel bad by being critical and manipulative, and this can hurt you for a long time. And if you're a daughter who's suffered under a narcissistic mother, we suggest having a look at The Best Books On Healing From Narcissistic Mothers For Daughters.

If your mom acts this way, it's crucial to have limits to protect yourself. It's like drawing a line that she shouldn't cross to keep yourself safe and happy. It's also a good idea to talk to friends or family members who care about you and can support you genuinely. They can help make things a bit easier.

Sometimes, talking to a therapist online from your home can be helpful. They can listen, understand, and give advice on how to feel better and deal with a mom who is narcissistic.

FAQ

References

1. PCI Collage: Parental Narcissism
2. Research Gate: The Traumatic Effects of Narcissistic Parenting on a Sensitive Child: A Case Analysis
3. Reddit: r/raisedbynarcissists
4. Rustic Table: Will Ever Good Enough Narcissistic (PDF)
   

⚠️Disclaimer: The information provided on this health blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.