The Best Verbal Abuse Books

Book 1

The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition
Learn to identify, respond to, and heal from verbal abuse with this book, exploring its rise, effects, and strategies to handle abusive behaviors.

Book 2

Healing from Hidden Abuse
Explore six recovery stages from emotional abuse—Despair to Maintenance—with an included journal for personal reflection and action plans for healing.

Book 3

The Emotionally Destructive Marriage
Empower yourself with Leslie Vernick's book, offering women in destructive marriages a way to handle anger, set boundaries, and escape emotional abuse.

Book 4

John Ruskan's book offers a self-therapy system for inner healing, using emotional pain as a tool for evolution, with an easy-to-follow guide for immediate use.


The Verbal Abuse Recovery Workbook
Find empowerment and hope through expert advice, healing practices, and real recovery stories in this book, designed to help readers reclaim their power.
An emotional image depicting a man angrily gesturing towards a visibly upset woman, with the caption 'The Best Verbal Abuse Books'.

The best verbal abuse books provide insightful knowledge and guidance on how to handle and recover from this form of abuse. Verbal abuse encompasses various behaviors and words used to intimidate, manipulate, and exert control over someone.

Often intertwined with emotional abuse, it includes actions like insults, humiliation, the silent treatment, scare tactics, isolation, and attempts at control. Not limited to direct verbal attacks, it can also manifest in indirectly violent behaviors like slamming doors, throwing objects, or harming pets, used to intimidate. Studies have shown that those subjected to verbal abuse in childhood or adolescence by parents or peers may face increased risks of anxiety, depression, suicidal tendencies, dissociation, anger-hostility, and drug use in later life.

These books offer valuable resources for understanding, coping with, and overcoming the impacts of verbal abuse, guiding you towards a healthier and improved life.

The Best Verbal Abuse Books 

These books offer a structured, step-by-step approach to addressing the thoughts, feelings and behaviors that contribute to verbal abuse and how to prevent oneself from becoming a victim as well as how to get help and support.

If you're ready to learn about verbal abuse, how to heal from verbal abuse, and how to get help, here are some of the best verbal abuse books to consider:

Overall Best: The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition: How to Recognize Abusive Relationship and How to Respond

The cover of 'The Verbally Abusive Relationship' by Patricia Evans, a book aimed at recognizing and responding to verbal abuse in a post about the best verbal abuse books
  • Our Rating: 9.2
  • Amazon Rating: 4.7
  • Goodreads Rating: 4.3
  • Price: View Price
  • Publication Date: January 18, 2010
  • Book Length: 240 pages
  • Language: English
  • Author: Patricia Evans

Book Description:

This book explains why verbal abuse is more widespread than ever, and how you can deal with it. It gives more of the answers you need to recognize abuse when it happens, respond to abusers safely and appropriately, and most importantly lead a happier, healthier life. In this book, Evans reveals the "outside stresses" driving the rise in verbal abuse and shows you how you can mitigate the devastating effects on your relationships. 

This book also outlines the Levels of Abuse that characterize this kind of behavior- from subtle insidious put-downs that can erode your self-esteem to full out tantrums of name-calling, screaming, and threatening that can escalate into physical abuse. In this book, Evans offers strategies on how to deal with abusive individuals. 

About the Book:

The author Patricia Evans is the bestselling classic author of five books, including The Verbally Abusive Relationship, The Verbally Abusive Man: Can He Change?, Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out  Controlling People and Victory Over Verbal Abuse. Evans has appeared on CNN, Oprah, national radio, and in Newsweek and O, The Oprah Magazine. She has spoken to groups throughout Canada, the US, and Madrid at the "Commission for the Investigation of Violence Against Women" and in five cities in Australia. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, you can reach her via her website at www.VerbalAbuse.com.

Good Reviews:

Most users recommend this book, expressing how relevant, helpful, and practical the book is.[2],[3] One user reported that they loved the dialogs, in their words, they "needed to see conversations in action" so they could "recognize them" from their relationship. [4]

A user mentioned that Patricia Evans sums up the concept of verbal abuse so well. [5] Another user reported that this book helped them immensely, explaining that their partner was described exactly in this book. [6] A user also reported that this book helped her grieve the loss of a relationship that never really existed. [7]

Bad Reviews:

One user expressed dissatisfaction with this book. In their words, this book is a definition of verbal abuse tactics and not a "how to recover".

Potential Strengths:

  • Excellent for understanding verbally frightening relationship
  • Awakens to abuse
  • Important info 
  • Relevant, helpful and practical

Potential Weakness:

  • Not much information on how to recover from verbal abuse. 

Very Insightful: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

  • Our Rating: 9.2
  • Amazon Rating: 4.7
  • Goodreads Rating: 4.1
  • Price: View Price
  • Publication Date: August 25, 2016
  • Book Length: 284 pages
  • Language: English
  • Author: Shannon Thomas LCSW

Book Description:

This book walks the reader through each of the six recovery stages researched and developed by the author. These stages include Despair, Education, Awakening, Boundaries, Restoration, and Maintenance.

This book contains a guided personal reflections journal to help the reader go deeper in their application of the six stages of recovery. This journal which is situated at the back of the book can be used individually or in a small group setting. It also contains action plans designed for abused children to recover from emotional abuse. 

About the Author:

Shannon Thomas is the co-founder of Keep Dreaming Big Project, an IRS-approved book, which grants life-enriching wishes for survivors of abuse. She is a content expert in media outlets including The Oprah Magazine, Business Insider, Associated Press, Reader's Digest, Yahoo! Yahoo! Finance, Teen Vogue, and USA Today.

Thomas is the international bestselling author of Healing from Hidden Abuse, When Money is a Weapon, A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse, and Exposing Financial Abuse. She is also the CEO of an award-winning counseling practice.

Good Reviews:

Most readers found this book helpful, one said it is really helpful to better identify and understand the cycle of emotional abuse. [8] Another said it was exactly what they needed at that time of their life. [9]

A user reported that this book is a quick read, in her words, pretty much commonplace info, just gathered together in one place. [10] They also mentioned that the book is helpful for those who might be wondering if they are in a relationship that has hidden abuse. [10] One more user said that it is really helpful to better identify and understand the cycle of emotional abuse. [11]

Bad Reviews:

A user reported that Shannon has "less compassion" for hurt people who hurt people than some other writers that they have encountered. [12] Another user said their only caveat is that they believe an abuser knows what they are doing but they're still in the stage of recovery where they're uncertain how they plan the abuse. [13]

Potential Strength:

  • Quick read
  • Very insightful
  • Helpful to better identify and understand the cycle of emotional abuse.
  • Best book on trauma
  • Information is intensely true
  • Eye-opening and focus on recovery

Potential Weaknesses:

  • The author reportedly has less compassion for hurt people who hurt other people.

Best for Married Women: The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope

Cover image of 'The Emotionally Destructive Marriage' by Leslie Vernick, featuring a serene beach scene with a broken wooden fence in a post about the best verbal abuse books
  • Our Rating: 9.1
  • Amazon Rating: 4.7
  • Goodreads Rating: 4.5
  • Price: View Price
  • Publication Date: September 17, 2013
  • Book Length: 242 pages
  • Language: English
  • Author: Leslie Vernick

Book Description:

For any woman caught in an emotionally destructive marriage, this book offers a personalized path forward. This also teaches how to handle angry and controlling men. Based on decades of counseling experience, the author Leslie Vernick's intensely practical, biblical advice will show you how to establish boundaries and break free from emotional abuse.

About the Author:

Leslie Vernick is a licensed clinical social worker and a relationship coach. She has authored numerous books including The Emotionally Destructive Marriage and The Emotionally Destructive Relationship.

Good Reviews:

A user expressed gratitude towards Leslie Vernick for the book, saying she cannot thank Leslie enough for writing this book. [14] She further explained that "it is difficult to be in an emotionally destructive marriage and face the bad answers of those unfamiliar with your situation and uneducated about abuse but Leslie cuts through it and delivers realistic guidance". [14]

Another user stated that the book saved her life. According to her, if she had not found this book, she would have continued putting up with abuse until the day she died. [15]

Bad Reviews:

While a user suggested the book was great, he urged its readers to employ discernment when reading the book.

Potential Strengths:

  • Life-changing book for difficult marriages
  • Amazing Advice
  • Incredible Christian guide
  • Perfect advice for the wife seeking support
  • Incredible insights and practical steps
  • Excellent resource

Potential Weaknesses: 

  • May require personal discretion.

Extremely Valuable: DEEP CLEARING: Balance Your Emotions, Let Go Of Inner & Outer Negativity, Shift To Higher Consciousness: A Radical Inner Process

Book cover of 'DEEP CLEARING' by John Ruskan with a silhouette of a person walking towards a bright light, symbolizing a journey from darkness to higher consciousness in a post about the best verbal abuse books
  • Our Rating: 8.8
  • Amazon Rating: 4.5
  • Goodreads Rating: 4.3
  • Price: View Price
  • Publication Date: March 14, 2021
  • Book Length: 312  pages
  • Language: English
  • Author: John Ruskan

Book Description:

In this book, the author- John Ruskan presents a brilliant self-therapy system for complete inner healing and well-being. This book promises to take you through a series of consciousness shifts that will give you a new radical outlook and tools for emotional self-healing. It shows its readers how to use emotional pain as a means to heal and evolve yourself instead of merely being battered by it and stuffing it into the subconscious.

This timely new edition is divided into sections, beginning with a quick-start, easy-to-understand guide that enables you to immediately apply the process to distressing emotional experiences.

 About the Author:

The groundbreaking bestseller of DEEP CLEARING John Ruskan's life-long personal experience on the spiritual higher consciousness path began in 1968 at the age of 26 when he was initiated into a major yoga tradition. Almost 30 years later, in 1994, John self-published Emotional Clearing, a guide for releasing suppressed negative feelings employing an inner meditative technique. 

Although he has found fulfilment for the last 25 years working as a therapist and training other therapists in his technique, he has been moved to publish another book again- Deep Clearing, which represents a re-statement and expansion of his original conception but is arranged differently to reach and benefit a contemporary audience.

Good Reviews:

According to a user, this book is a must-read for everyone, this user explains that it certainly rings true for those who are working on their awakening process. [16] They also added that this book is one of the most profound books they have read. [16]

Another user said they're very grateful to John Ruskan for writing this book and his previous book, Emotional Clearing which are both excellent and deep regarding the spiritual and psychological importance of releasing emotions. [17]

Bad Reviews:

Some users expressed dissatisfaction with this book, for example, one of the users said they wanted to like the book but unfortunately, right from the beginning, the author makes it very clear that "he thinks very highly of himself and that most others are below him". [18]

The same dissatisfied user reported that the author has zero background or education in literally any field of psychology, stating that the author's only degree is in mechanical engineering, which he acquired in 1964. [18]

Potential Strengths: 

  • Inside-out approach
  • Extremely valuable work for real deep work on yourself 
  • Life-changing
  • Good read
  • Vital to learn and beneficial to all
  • Powerful teachings and practical skills for working with inner pain
  • Transformational, easily accessible, and relevant.

Potential Weaknesses:

  • The author may have zero background or education in literally any field of psychology.

Best Storytelling: The Verbal Abuse Recovery Workbook: Healing from Emotional Abuse

The cover of 'The Verbal Abuse Recovery Workbook' by Christine E. Murray, featuring a serene turquoise backdrop with wave patterns.
  • Our Rating: 8.7
  • Amazon Rating: 4.4
  • Goodreads Rating: 4.3
  • Price: View Price
  • Publication Date: September 21, 2021
  • Book Length: 152  pages
  • Language: English
  • Author: Christine E. Murray

Book Description:

This book provides its readers with supportive exercises, expert advice, and affirmations that help them reclaim their power and move forward with confidence and hope for the future. The features of this book include expert knowledge and proven methods, empowering healing practices, and real stories of real recovery. 

About the Author:

The author of this book- Christine Murray, Ph.D., LCMHC, LMFT is the Director of the Center for Youth, Family, and Community Partnerships at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. Murray previously served as a Professor in the UNCG Department of Counseling and Educational Development, where she coordinated the Couple and Family Counseling Track.

Murray is currently also directing the Healthy Relationships Initiative and a Co-Founder of the See the Triumph Campaign. She is passionate about promoting healthy relationships and developing supportive resources for people who have faced abusive relationships. 

Good Reviews:

A user recommends this book for therapists and anyone else, explaining that this book will move you through different steps in each chapter and that each chapter has knowledge within that has activities and prompts. [19]

Another user expressed that the scope of the exercises laid out in this workbook feels very doable and not at all overwhelming. In addition, they found the section on boundaries to be tremendously helpful. [20]

Bad Reviews: 

A user hinted that the book is not too triggering. [21]

Potential Strengths: 

  • Excellent resource
  • Expert knowledge and proven methods
  • Empowering healing practices
  • Real stories of real recovery
  • Compassionate guide for self-healing
  • Excellent for verbal abuse recovery

Potential Weaknesses:

  • Not too triggering 

How to Use a Verbal Abuse Book

A verbal abuse book is an essential tool for anyone going through any form of bullying in their relationships, families, and friendships.

Here are some steps on how to use a verbal abuse book effectively:

  • Start by reading through the book to get the main points 
  • Set aside a specific time to go through the book.
  • Ensure you complete each stipulated chapter carefully.
  • Reflect on your progress as you read through.
  • Reach out for additional support from family, friends or a therapist. Benefits of a Verbal Abuse Book

Here are some benefits of a verbal abuse book:

  1. It helps to identify abusive behavior.
  2. It gives new insights into verbal abuse as a form of domestic violence.
  3. It helps detect the early warning signs of an abusive marriage. 
  4. It helps emotionally abused people to recover and how to get help. 
  5. It explains the various abusive personality types.
  6. Women recognize abusive men and take a crucial step toward making their relationship work.
  7. It helps people know they deserve respect and how to create healthy boundaries. 
  8. It enlightens abused children on how to get help and support against abusive people.
  9. It enables one to learn why verbal abuse should not be tolerated.
  10. Knowing the early warning signs of an abusive relationship can prevent domestic violence in marriages and relationships.


What is a verbal abuse book? 

A verbal abuse book is a book that talks about verbal abuse, forms of verbal abuse, its causes, effects, ways of prevention, how to recover from verbal abuse, and how to get help and additional support. 

What are the primary causes of verbal abuse?

The primary causes of verbal abuse include family history, past experiences, personality,  and mental illness. 


  1.  Verbal and Emotional Abuse Related to Self-Esteem Damage and Unjust Blame Harms Mental Health and Social Interaction

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