How to Tell Someone You Care for Them Deeply

Last Updated
December 8, 2023

People yearn for love and care, making these emotions invaluable. If you're filled with love but struggle to show it, learning how to tell someone you care for them deeply is crucial. Expressing your love and concern is vital, not just feeling it.

Your display of love, care, and admiration enhances others' lives and strengthens your bonds. Remember, giving love is as essential for happiness as receiving it. Imagine the joy of being shown and told you're valued. This should be the experience of your loved one too. By expressing your care and affection, you encourage them to reciprocate. In this article, we'll explore various ways to show your care using different love languages, helping you express how deeply you care.

Couple being affectionate in a post about How to Tell Someone You Care for Them Deeply

The undeniable truth about showing care

There are many ways of expressing love, and most people have one or two ways that they most commonly demonstrate affection

A popular American author, Gary Chapman, once published a book titled The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. In this book, he explained that there are five basic love languages: Acts of service, physical touch, quality time, receiving gifts, and words of affirmation.

One of the key ways you can express your feelings for someone you love is by understanding their love language and practicing it. For instance, if your partner values quality time, then spending time with them will mean the world to them.

Steps to show someone you care through acts of service

Showing someone you care through acts of service can be a meaningful and heartfelt way to express your affection and support. Here are some steps to consider:

Listen actively

- Face the speaker and maintain eye contact.
- Nod occasionally, smile, and use other facial expressions.
- Avoid interrupting
- Instead of thinking about what to say next, concentrate on understanding the speaker’s message.
- Paraphrase or summarize what they’ve said to ensure you’ve understood it correctly.
- If you're unsure about something, ask questions to deepen your understanding.
- Try to understand their perspective and feelings.
- Avoid judging or giving unwanted advice

Do household chores

- Start by making a list of all the chores that need to be done around the house.
- Prioritize them based on necessity
- If you're doing chores for someone else, understand their preferences
- Tackling one chore at a time can be more efficient and less overwhelming

Cook a meal

- Understand the person's likes, dislikes, and any dietary restrictions or allergies they may have
- Choose dishes that you know they love or have been wanting to try
- Use fresh, high-quality ingredients
- Set the table nicely, maybe add some candles, flowers, or soft music in the background
- Consider their comfort and preferences in serving
- Taking care of the cleanup is as much a part of the act of service as cooking the meal

Run errands

- Communicate with the person to understand what errands they need help with
- Ask about specific preferences or requirements for each errand
- Organize the errands in a logical order to save time and energy
- If you have questions or need clarification while you're out, don't hesitate to call or message them

Fix things

- Start by asking the person if there are any broken items or areas in their home that need attention
- Before committing to a repair, honestly assess whether it's within your skill set
- Once you've identified a repair task you can handle, gather all the tools and materials you'll need
- If you're not entirely sure how to fix something, do some research
- Plan and set aside enough time to complete the repair without rushing
- Keep the person informed about what you're doing
- Once the repair is completed, test it
- After a day or two, follow up to ensure that the repair is holding up and that they’re satisfied with the work

Remember important dates

- Start by finding out the dates that are important to them
- Once you have these dates, add them to a calendar system you regularly check
- For digital calendars, set automatic reminders a few days to a week before the date
- For annual events like birthdays and anniversaries, set the reminders to recur yearly
- Plan in advance
- When the day arrives, make sure to reach out
- If you're using a digital system, make sure it's backed up or synced across your devices

Transportation help

- Begin by asking about their specific transportation needs
- Assess your schedule to determine when you can realistically offer rides
- If they need regular rides (like to weekly appointments), consider setting a routine schedule
- Keep communication lines open regarding pick-up and drop-off times and locations
- Punctuality is crucial
- Keep your vehicle clean and well-maintained
- Be accommodating and patient
- Keep your phone charged and have emergency contacts and basic first aid supplies in your vehicle, just in case
- After dropping them off, especially if it's a significant event or appointment, a message to check in on how it went can show that you care

Boyfriend helping his girlfriend in a post about How to Tell Someone You Care for Them Deeply

How to show someone you care through physical touch

If physical touch is your preferred love language, it means you value it beyond all other forms of love expression. Even though sex can be a significant component of a romantic relationship, physical touch is not solely about sex.

A hug, shoulder squeeze, handhold, back pat, or even a handshake can show affection that means just as much to your spouse.

Here are some ways to express true love through physical touch.

By kissing

You might believe that kissing must result in sex, but this is untrue. One of the simplest and most powerful methods to express physical affection to your lover is by kissing. You may kiss their hand, lips, neck, cheek, forehead, and hands.

Kissing is used as a gesture of respect, saying hello, or affection in a wide variety of civilizations throughout history. It is practiced in both romantic and non-romantic relationships and should be given priority.

By holding hands

In public or private, holding hands with your lover is a simple gesture that can instantly release mood-enhancing endorphins. Even parents frequently hold their child's hand for both protective and emotional reasons.

Holding hands with loved ones, make them feel special and loved. It reassures them that they matter to you.

By fondling

A touch might be sexual or nonsexual and still be intimate. An intimate sign of affection can be tracing your fingers across your partner's back or neck.

You can demonstrate your support for your partner, your physical attraction to them, and/or your love for them by caressing their hair, stroking the nape of their neck, or even caressing their bare leg.

By cuddling

Cuddling is also a way you can spend quality time with someone you love. It builds intimacy between you and your partner, and also makes them feel connected to you. It is not a time for you to bring up issues from the past, but to ponder on the things you love about the relationship.

While cuddling, say nice things to that special person, and make them feel loved and appreciated. Cuddling should not always lead to sex, it should be one of those special moments where you get to understand your partner on a deeper level.

Couple embracing in a post about How to Tell Someone You Care for Them Deeply

How to express love by spending quality time

The best approach to make sure your relationship remains healthy is to spend quality time with your partner.

This entails doing more than just watching TV together or occasionally going out to eat. So, what is meant by quality time? It entails uninterrupted time spent with your partner. It's an opportunity for you to get together and discuss. This will promote a deeper level of emotional connection and trust.

Below are useful tips that will help you spend time with that special person.

Identify the warning signs

You must develop the ability to spot the telltale indicators that your relationship needs more one-on-one time if you want it to thrive. Our Ultiblog article Relationship Red Flags You Should Know may help you. Some warning signs include:
- You use your phones nonstop.
- You place more importance on your interests or friendships than your relationship.
- You don't attend significant events together.
- You argue more frequently or have poor connections.
- You don't schedule events or go on dates.
- You're not content.

Make date nights a habit

Couples who spend quality time together feel happier and less stressed than those who do not. Incorporating a date night into your weekly schedule is a nice way of maintaining a healthy relationship.

You'll be surprised how a candlelit dinner could make your loved one feel amazing. Don't do this only on special occasions, like birthdays or anniversaries, be romantic! This does not mean you should neglect the important dates.

Work out together

By exercising with your partner, you get to spend time with them. Moreover, research has shown that couples who work out together, tend to tie their fitness goals faster than those who exercise alone.

Create gadget-free moments

Due to our increasing dependence on technology, many of us no longer pay attention to the people around us. Members of a family, friends, or even romantic partners now " phub" each other., and this has led to broken relationships. When you're around loved ones, it is important that you keep the gadgets away. 

Attempt new things together

Have you ever wished you could pick up a musical instrument or another language? How about ballroom dancing or skydiving? Why not incorporate your partner in these activities rather than seeing them as your personal interests and hobbies?

Trying new things together strengthens relationships because it enables partners to lean on one another for both physical and emotional support.

Prepare meals together

Romantic love doesn't always involve flowers and chocolates., it could be a simple gesture like cooking with your spouse.

You don't always need actual words to profess your unconditional love for someone you care for deeply, let your actions do the work; one of the easiest ways to do this is by cooking together. It's a great way to bond with your partner. You get to tease each other and discuss the events of the day while cooking. Cool right?

Couple kissing in a post about How to Tell Someone You Care for Them Deeply

How to tell someone you love them through gifts

First of all, how do you know if your partner's love language is receiving gifts?

Such people never set a gift aside until it is opened and its contents are made clear because they simply can't wait to get their hands on them. In addition, these individuals frequently recall who gave them what, and they treat each gift as though it were their most prized asset. They also enjoy giving gifts to others as well.

Here are things you ought to know when giving gifts to someone you love.

Your intention matters

Don't give a gift because you're sorry for hurting the person or because you want a favor in return. Rather from the habit of giving gifts because you care and you never want them to forget that.

The gift must not be so expensive

The most amazing gifts are not the most expensive ones but thoughtful gifts. For instance, gifting your loved one a pup when they are allergic to fur Is quite silly, right?

So when getting gifts, go for nice things that will genuinely put a smile on the face of that special person. The most amazing gifts are not the most expensive ones but thoughtful gifts. For instance, gifting your loved one a pup when they are allergic to fur Is quite silly, right?

Surprises are a big deal to gift lovers

Most people expect gifts on specific days like birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc, and though it means a lot to them, you can't compare this to how they feel when surprised.

A perfect way to impress a gift love is to surprise them. It demonstrates that they are always on your mind and that you're willing to go out of your way to make them happy.

Timing is important

Even though your partner enjoys receiving gifts, you should be cautious of the time you offer these gifts. For instance, If they are going through a tough time at work, you should offer support and not a gift. That's what they need at that time.

Or perhaps you've been dating someone you care about for a few weeks, and getting them something pricey (like a diamond bracelet) may seem like you're rushing the relationship. They may not be ready for that level of commitment.

So, be wise in giving gifts.

How to tell someone you care through words of affirmation

Any communication that encourages, affirms, praises, sympathizes, comments, or uplifts is considered to be speaking words of affirmation.

Words of affirmation, in their simplest form, aid in making your spouse feel seen. It gives them a sense of accomplishment and, more significantly, makes them feel acknowledged in the quiet, unassuming moments of daily life. These words could be written (love letters, love notes), typed( sweet text messages), or spoken.

Your words have an impact, so it matters a great deal what you say to someone you care about. It is advisable to carefully consider both your message and your delivery.

It happens frequently that we have warm and generous thoughts for our lover but never expresses them verbally. Then open the mouth and let the words flow. Never hold a kind notion in your mind. Practice speaking the lovely words you think of instead.

You can develop a habit by repeatedly telling yourself to say the words out loud and then doing so. Your relationship will be improved if you speak positively about your mate. The following tips will help you convey your message of love to your partner using words.

Use specific words

When complimenting someone, be specific. Substitute more genuine language for overused ones.

Don't use the same words you can say to any other man or lady out there. Through the uniqueness of your words, make your partner feel particularly seen. Even though it requires more work, the payoff is enormous.

Listen to your partner

Pay close attention to what your partner is saying.

Knowing exactly what they are dealing with and what they need is necessary to properly affirm someone with your words. If you actively listen and strive to comprehend your partner's ideas and feelings, your words won't be meaningless.

Be intentional

Set a goal to compliment your spouse every day in a very particular and special way. Spend some time thinking about what it is about your partner that you truly like or find fascinating, and then tell them.

Make it a point to do this daily until it becomes second nature. You'll find yourself reflecting on your spouse's virtues regularly, and your partner will experience an increase in feelings of love.

Examples of words of affirmation you can say to your significant other

- I love the way your smile, it makes you look so beautiful.
- I have so much faith in you babe, you'll pull through this.
- While I was grocery shopping, I was thinking about how lucky I am to have you In my life.
- You mean the world to me and I never want to lose you.
- I admire the way you handled that situation.
- You're so smart, you always come up with wonderful ideas.
- I love how diligent you are with work, you'll go places.
- I am so proud of you.
- I get butterflies anytime you look at me like that.
- You're awesome! I hope you know that.
- I love you
- There's no one is rather be with
- You're such a good cook!

Bottom line

You will most likely apply all of the love languages during the honeymoon period of your relationship but with time, you get comfortable using your dominant love language. If there is a mismatch between you and your partner, the relationship may begin to feel unfulfilling, and one partner may feel like the other doesn't care anymore.

That does not imply that you give up and end it. Instead, take some time to remind each other of your respective love languages. Even if words of affirmation aren't your main form of expression of love, verbal communication is essential for letting your loved ones know what you need.

Be prepared to change your actions as necessary to make your partner feel special as well. Every single person is deserving of love and respect. When you experience negative emotions more frequently than positive ones, you may be in an unhealthy relationship.

On the other hand, pleasant, healthy relationships give you a sense of self-assurance and confidence. But strong relationships take time and work to maintain. Learn your partner's preferred method of expressing their love and care, and use that method frequently.

Consider it the ultimate rule of romance: treat people the way you want to be treated.

Still in doubt about the "love language theory"?

For those of you who may not really buy the whole love language theory, think of it this way: If you grew up in a home where giving gifts or spending time with family is an expression of love, then most likely, these acts will be what you'll expect from your partner. This is because this is what you believe love looks like.

On the other hand, if you always saw your parents fight, you may have the wrong notion that love should hurt.

So, you see, love languages are not just made-up perceptions; our parents, upbringing, and even environment play a key role in how we give and receive love. Check the sources on love language we dropped in this composition for better understanding.


How Do You Know If Someone Cares About You?

You know someone cares about you through their words and actions. The way they speak to you, how intentional they are about things that concern you, how supportive they are, etc.

Why Is It Important To Show Someone You Care?

If you care for someone and you don't show how you feel about them, they won't know it. They may even withdraw from you for that reason.


  1. Oregon Counseling in Five Ways to Express Love: Five Ways to Express Love
  2. The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
  3. School of Life: Meaning of Life
  4. MindBodyGreen: What “Acts Of Service” Means As A Love Language + 101 Examples
  5. Verywell Mind: What Is the Physical Touch Love Language?
  6. Verywell Mind: What Is the Physical Touch Love Language?
  7. BBC: The Reasons Humans Started Kissing
  8. Relish:10 Surprising Benefits of Holding Hands with a Loved One.
  9. Susan O’Grady: Better Sex through Non-Sexual Touching
  10. Berry Amour Villas: How to cuddle to make your partner feel truly loved
  11. HelpGuide: Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship
  12. Lifehack: 14 Tips on How to Spend More Quality Time With Your Partner
  13. DEBORAH BYRNE PSYCHOLOGY SERVICES: The Importance Of Date Nights To Your Relationship
  14. NCBI: Partner Influence in Diet and Exercise Behaviors: Testing Behavior Modeling, Social Control, and Normative Body Size
  15. Silver Maples: What Are the Effects of Too Much Screen Time?
  16. MindBodyGreen: What It Really Means To Have Gifts As Your Love Language
  17. WikiHow: How to Present a Romantic Gif
  18. MindBodyGreen: What It Means To Have Words Of Affirmation As A Love Language
  19. Heart Matters: 10 tips for active listening

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